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As I walk home from work I notice a cluster of girls in high heels walking painlessly in what must have been 3 feet of snow. I step around the group and I look at my watch thinking, wow could there be a party on a Tuesday night at 7p? It slowly dawns on my after passing my third and fourth group of girls that it must be rush week.
Rush week is basically the greek initiation process at the university I attend. There is a seperate process for fraternities and a seperate process for sororities. The historically black, latino and asian greek organizations do not join in this rush process and as a result upwards of 90% of those in these groups end up conforming to the stereotypes of young white kids that we commonly see portraying frat brothers and sorority sisters in the media.
Although I am not in the greek system, I know people who are and have heard (secondhand anyway) what some of it is like. It is such a paradox because they combine large excesses of alcohol, drugs and partying with academic and extracurricular leadership on and off campus. As someone who is quite involved in volunteer work I find my self writing these groups for funding for my next project and then later being horrified by the rumors of their latest parties or other exploits.
If this is sounding too vague let me try to give you some examples without being too specific to call anyone out or (get anyone arrested!)... So one soririty is known for putting together talks on women's rights and empowerment much like as the "feminist" Tri Deltas at Notre Dame University that Salon wrote a recent peice about. Maybe a few weekends earlier I saw pictures from a "Pimp and Ho" themed mixer with girls from the same sorority dressed up as prostitutes and some even smearing their faces with concealer for darker complexions to "more accurately fill the roles."
Does anyone esle notice a disconnect here?
Or how about being an RA in the all-girls dorm sophomore year. The days after rush week had settled and girls had been chosen (or not) was a week of excessive partying and elation for others and crushing depression for those that were not chosen. Although I realize that these sororities have to be selective in who they choose, there seems to be a clear disconnect between fighting for womens empowerment and being strong leaders on campus while also ranking girls on the basis of their appearance in order to join such a group. It was really rough to see freshman girls that were so optimistic about their chances burst into tears after being rejected from their favorite sorority or in the worst cases from all of them.
I think its especially frustrating to think about how these girls are sometimes treated when the fraternity rush is just one big party. Our campus has far more fraternities than sororities so its more like the fraternities put on a show to get the best guys to join, whereas the sororities have it the other way around. When I say one big party I am not exaggerating.. A few years ago our campus had to put into effect some guidelines on the adult entertainment that could be provided during fraternity rush week (strippers, exotic dancers, etc) and we are frequently having huge drug busts at the fraternities. In one article in Kitsch, talked about the strippers on campus at frat parties. I even remember hearing guy friends sophomore year talk about 6 inch joints being rolled and sorority girls serving them drinks in play boy bunny leotards (yes the thong kind with the bunny tail on the butt).
I know I may sound "anti greek" or even parent like in this post but that is not how I want to come off. Unlike alot of media coverage regarding "Girls gone wild" talking about how college girls are losing all morality and how they are a shame to feminism, I dont think that way.
First of all I know first hand how hard it can be to be a young woman that recieves so many conflicting mesages in college and in our culture as a whole. Jessica Valenti makes a lot of great points about this in her book Full Frontal Feminism and in this article on feministing.com. As girls we are told that we need to simultaneously be smart, sexy, available, hot and most of all we should always fill our gender roles. Its easy to see how you can get groups of girls dressing up as Pimps and Hos at mixer parties on the weekends in order to be (hot and popular and maybe score a boyfriend?) and then organizing great events and serving the community during the week.
Does that mean these girls are bad? I dont think so. I just think it means that we all need to continue to question the gender performances that we are putting on and who we are putting them on for?
Sometimes I will be at a party and I will notice drunk girls grinding and making out. I have to wonder are these girls empowered lesbians or bisexuals exploring their sensuality (and alcohol saturation limits!??!) or are these two confused girls trying desperately to get some male attention? The truth is I dont know.
But what I do know is that I definitely watch out for those girls. Just as I usually follow drunk girls home if I am walking home late as well because I would really not want anything to happen to them. Because although its great that these girls are exploring their sexualities and identiies, it is also a sad reality that 1 in every 3 college women will be sexually assaulted before they graduate and that the binge drinking (and drug use) on college campuses can lead to regretted or unwanted sex.
It really scares me when I think about those statistics, think about my own history and that of many girls I know. From an unwanted grinding session at a party to being stalked or sexually assaulted, its all really disturbing how easily and frequently boundaries are crossed. It is then that I realize that we could also be victimizing ourselves by playing too much into these opressive and misogynist gender roles. And I think the same thing can be said about the guys out there who are forced to play these roles. Do they really think its ok to treat girls like fratmats or do they do it because everyone else is?
Furthermore, I must add as a person of color that it can really grate on my nerves to be around these people for too long. Here on my campus they live in huge mansions that used to house our prestigious universities founders. Now you can find a permanent muck on each frats "basement" that is a combination of beer, vomit and urine (possibly sexual fluids as well?). They have private chefs, maids and other house service and practically bleed their privelege trotting across campus in $200 uggs, northface jackets and backpacks. It can be really offensive that they feel so cavalier about throwing "ghetto" parties and blasting hip-hop at every opportunity. I cant help but wonder if they even realize their immense privelege and the responsibility that comes with it. Its also quite ironic that they often ask why there is a need for a seperate minority-oriented greek organizations and why do we self segregate ourselves? I wonder how they would feel if they were a black student going to a "ghetto" party or a asian student going to the "express train to saigon party" where frat girls tried to squeeze into slutty mandarin dresses and stretch their eyes all evening?
That is why I guess I still have mixed feelings about all of this.
So what do you guys think out there in Amplify? Are any of you in sororities or fraternities? Is the scene any similar to this at your school?
Ok...actually I just talked to one of my coworkers who I know went to a very Greek-centric school and was in a sorority all four years, and I guess this kind of stuff isn't that surprising. She did mention that during her rush process, it was more like the sororities were selling themselves to the women who were rushing, instead of the other way around (which seems to be happening at your school).
I guess I just don't know enough about Greek life to know what to say...but I do think it's safe to say that sexual health might not be the #1 priority when it comes to what actually goes down.
Thanks again for posting this.
I hope that answers your question.
Thanks for posting this.
I agree that the Greek scene is very problematic, especially at larger schools where it dominates the social life. Often, Greek houses are host to a lot of entitled misogyny, not to mention, much too often, sexual assault. The selection process, to me, seems overly exclusive and elitist, and members essentially are paying for friends and parties. Not the way I would choose my friends, to say the least.
At my school, there are a couple fraternities and sororities, but they are very minor and not recognized by the administration. They also don't have houses, which makes their presence less conspicuous and invasive. Mostly they just get together for low-key social functions, or host parties in common spaces. This is a plus in my mind, because I think the male-dominated space of a fraternity can play a key role upsetting the already uneven power-dynamic between men and women at frat parties. Since sororities don't host parties in their houses, this never swings the other way.
I am not a part of a sorority however, my younger sister is. At UM, greek life is very much a part of the campus scene and the fraternity row that has over 10 houses of fraternities and sororities make up a huge chunk of the real estate and economic "mobility" in the area.
My sister joined a Latina focused sorority. We have very different experiences. I grew up watching "School Daze" and very much was influenced by the film esp. around Greek Life (specifically among Greeks of Color). I think for many people it is a form of networking. Many of my friends who, upon going into graduate school, joined a sorority (they had to pay more money and do a few things like having to step versus having to "pledge" for an extended period of time). As an adult with a lot of my friends of Color in the Greek system I see how it is a networking space, something that it was originally set up to do so in that capacity it's useful for many.
I remember being interviewed and was asked if I was in a sorority by someone who already shared they were in a fraternity. My answer was no becuase I could not afford the dues and becuase I knew I couldn't ever afford them I never looked into the organizations. This is the truth for me, but at the same time my response didn't knock people who choose to particpate. My interviewer echoed my issue with money and affirmed it by saying it was expensive to be in such an organization. I also know a lot of folks who are "legacies" i.e. a family member was in the organization.
It is very much a rite of passage that people choose to particpate in and the risk factors remain the same as they were years ago. One way to look at the scenario is that we are all complicated. People find community the best way they know how at certain times, and being away at school is a huge life change for many people, and knowing you have a crew of people who are supposed to always support you is comforting for some. For others, like myself and perhaps you too, I need a smaller community because I'm an introvert and larger organizations exhaust me to an extent. Then again, I just mentioned School Daze so I'm kinda showing my age.
Rush will end, but if you haven't I'd encourage you to attend a probate if you haven't already, I kind of like the idea of presenting new members of an organization (usually Greeks of Color do this) and find it to be an amazing source of energy for many of the people involved.