Sex is a great a beautiful thing that everyone has been created to enjoy. It is also a fact of life, people have been having sex as long as we have existed and will continue to do so. As young people, we are constantly pushed many images of sex: virginity til marriage by the extreme religious right, ubiquitious T&A from the media and then of course our own viewpoints and those of our friends. There are so few healthy positive (and attractive) images of sex out there for heterosexual young people and an absolute dearth of such images for homosexual young people.

How are we as young people supposed to make healthy choices about our sex lives (if we feel we are ready and choose to have sex)?

I think that  the answer of course starts with self esteem. You always need to make sexual choices that you are ready for and that allow you to take the best care of yourself, physically and mentally.

It is also very importantly to know the facts about sex and reproductive health. If you have been a victim of abstinence only education (in any form) please take the time to get yourself familiar with factual information about sexual health (I have listed plenty of resources at the end of this article).  I have also listed a few tips below that could help any young person thinking of ways to make their sexual life more positive and healthy (kind of like what Leah627 did in her post)!

1. The best sex is healthy sex. The best sex is protected sex. What would you do if faced with an ....um... (for lack of better words) "heated" situation, where you are all ready to go and then find out the person refuses to use protection? They may say that "they can not get it up with condoms" or "condoms take away their pleasure" or "you should trust me, Im fine". I am sure that I do not have to tell you that there are plenty of HIV positive young people out there who were victims of this tactic and plenty more young people out there with sexually transmitted infections who were infected by people who did not seem to have an STI or did not know they had an STI .  Its best to use protection everytime even if you are a girl on birth control because we all know that birth control does not protect against STIs.  Condoms come in all colors, textures, and sizes (there are even vibrating condoms) not to mention a wide variety of lubricants (there are flavored and even "warming" lubricants) to help make a more "natural" feeling.  Also women how have the power of the female condom.

2. Sex should be respectful. Please have sex with someone who will be respectful to your mind and your body. This person should not be forcing you into acts that you are not comfortable with or otherwise disrespecting your body.

3. Never let anyone coerece you into having sex. If you find yourself saying no again and again to an increasingly persistent person, leave the space and find a friend. Any potential partner should respect your right to choose and even joking coericion "Oh dont be such a prude, come on it will be fun..." is still coericion. Its your choice if you just want to hook up. It does not matter if someone labels you as a tease, thats their problem not yours. Your sexual life is your business and under only your control and determination- not their's every if they may think so.

4. Only you know when you are ready to have sex. Do not let society, your friends, your frat brothers or sorority sisters or your partner tell you when you are ready to have sex. That time is up to you.

5. Sex should not be used to save a relationship (or even a date). You should not feel as though you need to have sex with someone because you owe them something or because you do not want them to break up with you. Can you see how unhealthy that sounds? If you are in a relationship like that its time to get out! You are young, there are plenty of other people out there, even if it may not seem like that right now.

6. Sex should not be forced. There are too many young people out there facing intimate partner violence. Also there are disturbing rates of sexual assault that is occuring on campuses all over the US. About  20-25% of women will be sexually assaulted at some point during their college careers. Men are of course at risk too of sexual assault and rape. This is a real and growing problem and if this is happening to you please get help.

7. Sex should not be used as self-medication. If you are overwhelmed, depressed or anxious, get help.

8. Former victims of childhood sexual abuse and incest should be especially careful to make safe, healthy sexual choices because chances are that you are not used to either healthy or safe sex. Take care of you! 

9. Abstinence and Masturbation are the only 100% safe sex forms of sex! 

10. Know your reproductive health facts! According to the CDC teen pregnancies and syphilis rates are increasing. For instance regardless of how many friends who know who do not use condoms but still avoid pregnancy- the pull out method of contraception has a very high pregnancy rate! Also know that only condoms can protect you from STIs so wear them every time! Also know that young people of color are at disproportionate risk for negative sexual outcomes, so young people of color, we must be especially vigilant about our sexual health because we have all these health disparities in healthcare access and treatment to overcome in the first place.

11. Know your status! If you are unsure about your HIV status or if you are unsure if you may have an STI Get TESTED!. You can get one from your healthcare practictioner, at your campus health facility or any nearby planned parenthood.

12. Give mindful conset. Do you find yourself constantly regretting your sexual choices? Do you find yourself constantly having sex under the influence or having more partners than you are comfortable with? It is important for all of us to be mindful about who we are having sex with, what are motives are and more importantly how we will feel about it the next day. Learning how to make good sexual choices comes with practice but its alot easier to avoid bad habits when you give mindful consent in the first place.

Further reading:
1. Read Jessica Valenti's Book, Full Frontal Feminism . She talks alot in the book about self-respect and healthy sexual choices
2. Check out this awesome resource on healthy sex choices made for young people
3. Advocates for Youth's MySistahs page has tons of sexual and reproductive health information for young people of color as well as TONS of advice for healthy relationships.
4. Check out Youth Resource which is a great resource by Advocates for Youth for LGBTQ youth
5. Check out AmbienteJoven which is another great resource by Advocates for Youth for LGBTQ spanish-speaking youth
6. Check out Men Can Stop Rape, an organization of men against sexual violence.