foursquare is a new social media tool, and count me as a big fan. In case the phrase foursquare to you only brings up images of students playing at recess, foursquare is new application that allows you to "check in" at locations as you go through your day to day life on your smart phone. Based on the frequency and nature of your check-ins, you can get badges and if you have the most check-ins of anyone at a specific location, you will be designated the "mayor."

Recently, I received the “Player Please” badge. Badges are given out for various reasons, you can receive the “Crunked” badge for checking-in at 3 “Fratastic” bars, and you can receive the “Local” badge for checking in at the same place three times in one week. I received the “Player Please” badge when I was at a College Democrats event in Washington DC. At the time that I checked in, four of my good friends had already checked in at the hotel the conference was in. Three of my friends (Tucker, Tori, and Victoria) are female, and when I received the “Player Please” badge, I received this message-

Look at you, checking in with 3 members of the opposite sex! Player, please!

At first I simply laughed. I’m great friends with all three of those women, but I have no desire to hook up with them (I self-identify as a gay male). Ironically, my fourth friend who had also checked into the hotel with me was also gay.

Over the course of a couple days, I started to realize that there was a problem with the “Player Please” badge. Foursquare should not make the assumption that everyone who uses their social networking device is straight. We live in a hetero-normative society, and while some might think that I’m making a mountain out of a mole-hill, imagine that you are a closeted high school lesbian, trying to come to terms with your sexuality, and check in with a group of friends. You receive a badge based on your perceived attraction to males, yet the female object of your desire is totally ignored in this equation.

If you are also concerned about the “Player Please” badge, contact foursquare at this e-mail address to share your thoughts

team@foursquare.com

Or if you really want to get your social media on, you can tweet at them at @foursquare.

Final note- While I love foursquare, I understand many real concerns expressed that foursquare can be potentially dangerous, especially for women who might be facing stalkers or individuals who desire to know the location they are in to do them harm. My friend Leah Josephson constantly reminds me that not all individuals feel the same comfort to share their location, even if to a group of close friends. Check-in only as much as you feel comfortable.

As I mentioned yesterday, Elizabeth Hundley Finley from the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign of North Carolina and I will be live blogging tonight's episode of Glee, in which the New Directions get a sex education lesson from guest star Gwyneth Paltrow.

While Elizabeth and I are both big fans of Glee, we're also intrigued to see how the show treats a very important issue.

We'll be cross posting at this post on amplify and on the APPCNC blog. I hope you'll join the conversation by posting in the comment section here. Also Liz and I are big twitter fans, you can find us at @leestorrow and @lizziefin.

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Update, we'll be joined by Mary Martin Vance and Melinda DeJongh.

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9.13.pm

Melinda

I did love the scenes with Kurt and his dad, and it’s interesting that they’ve chosen to make Santana’s feelings for Brittany so strong, which is a shift from earlier episodes.  I’m eager to see how that plays out.

9.13.pm

Elizabeth

The Good:

The Kurt/Kurt’s dad relationship: That was perhaps the best parent-child sex talk I’ve ever seen on TV.

The LGBT inclusiveness and the pointing out of how often sex ed excludes LGBT youth. I’ll point out again that not all kids who engage in same sex sexual behavior identify themselves as LGBT, so it’s important to cover same sex behavior even in a class that seems all straight. (Hello, Britney!)

The Bad:

The cruddy portrayal of sex educators. Good sex educators are very professional and go through lots of training. The idea of the “sexy substitute” teaching sex ed is just insulting.

All the hating on abstinence/celibacy was uncool. Rachel finally resolved things with her statement about how teens who are abstinent will need info later in life. But portraying abstinence as the wrong, uncool, or frumpy choice wasn’t so good.

And finally, one Fleetwood Mac song is one too many.

9.08.pm

Melinda

I think the in-school “sex ed” scenes did end up leaning more towards trying to be outrageous rather than factual, which goes back to Lee’s early point about how much responsibility TV has to address social issues.  In the end, #Glee shouldn’t be shouldering the burden of teaching kids responsible sexual behavior.

9.06.pm

Lee

So final thoughts on the episode?

I appreciated we got some good messages thrown in now and then (condoms protect from HIV which can lead to AIDS) but I’ll agree with others who have commented that she was an AWFUL sex education teacher.

However, let’s give snaps for how the show dealt with LGBTQ issues this episode. Kurt’s dad is fantastic, I’ll agree that he reinforced some traditional norms about masculinity, but he tried so hard. I’m sure he wished that his son got comprehensive, gay-inclusive sex education in school.

It will also be interesting to see where the Santan story line goes. Good to see some lesbian/bi representation on the show.

9.01.pm

Melinda

I think Will and Holly make sense, actually.

9.00.pm

Lee

I kind of like Will and Holly as a couple. But I’m assuming others might disagree?

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I've written about pop culture and Glee on this blog before, but nothing peaked my interest like the announcement that this Tuesday's episode of Glee will feature Gwyneth Paltrow returning to show as substitute teach Holly Holiday, while teaching sex education to the students of New Directions.

I loved Paltrow's performance last time, however I'm somewhat hesitant about this return performance. Glee is a fun show, and shouldn't be taken too seriously, however pop culture is political, and representation of social issues on film impacts our opinions- and as a new friend mentioned on Twitter, you need qualifications to teach sex education.

Elizabeth Hundley Finley, Director of Strategic Communications for the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign, and I will be live-blogging the episode tomorrow night. I hope you will join us for the conversation! Out convo will be cross posted here and at the APPCNC Blog.

Katy Perry has an interesting history with the gay community. While many of her songs have undoubtedly been blasted away at gay clubs across America, her lyrics and songs have at times stigmatized and stereotyped gay and gender non-conforming men. Her first single, “You’re So Gay,” describes a young teenager’s ex-boyfriend, as the speaker lists off his traits that aligned with stereotypes of gay men.

I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway

The implication in the song is that no straight man could like Hemingway, wear makeup, or be a vegetarian. The song reinforces notions of what it means to be a straight man. Many may claim that the song is satirical, and shouldn’t be taken seriously. Perry herself has commented that the song was not intended to be homophobic, but instead “it's not, 'you're so gay,' like, 'you're so lame,' but the fact of the matter is that this boy should've been gay. I totally understand how it could be misconstrued or whatever ... It wasn't stereotyping anyone in particular, I was talking about ex-boyfriends." The song is arguably an interesting piece of social commentary while simultaneously reinforcing current gender norms.

In the last couple of weeks, Perry has released the new music video to her song “Firework”. In contrast to “You’re So Gay”, “Firework” features a more positive portrayal and discussion of gender and sexuality. The message of the song is very positive, with lyrics that support individual’s diverse identities.

“You’re original, cannot be replaced…”

 The music video features images and stories of individuals dealing with difficult situations. We see a young woman grappling with body image issues, a young person sick at a hospital, and a young boy dealing with arguing parents. In addition, at the start of the music video we see a teenager at a raging party, sitting alone by himself. As the song goes one, we see his interest peaked by a young man across the room. He goes over, kissing him as digital fireworks go off around the two of them.

What is so important about this video is the way it deals with homosexuality in a manner that is both non-judgmental, and similar to others around him. He is not called out as “more unique” than the other characters in the video. This young man, be he gay, closeted, bi-sexual, or simply interested in men, is portrayed in a matter of fact way similar to the other characters in the video.

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As every day passes that Don't Ask Don't Tell is not repealled, the army continue to lose talented soldiers who are not able to serve because of their sexual orientation.

This week, Katerine Miller tendered her resignation, coming out as gay to her superior officers at West Point. Her letter is incredibly moving, and I've decided to repost a portion here, rather than summarize her words.

"… I have created a heterosexual dating history to recite to fellow cadets when they inquire. I have endured unwanted approaches by male cadets for fear of being accused as a lesbian by rejecting or reporting these events. I have been coerced into ignoring derogatory comments towards homosexuals for fear of being alienated for my viewpoint.  In short, I have lied to my classmates and compromised my integrity and my identity by adhering to existing military policy.
While at the academy, I have made a deliberate effort to develop myself academically, physically, and militarily, but in terms of holistic personal growth I have reached a plateau. I am unwilling to suppress an entire portion of my identity any longer because it has taken a significant personal, mental, and social toll on me and detrimentally affected my professional development. I have experienced a relentless cognitive dissonance by attempting to adhere to §654 [colloquially known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”] and retain my integrity, and I am retrospectively convinced that I am unable to live up to the Army Values as long as the policy remains in place."

She's been anonymously blogging about her expereinces at Velvet Park. You can find out more about her case at Knights Out.

The race for District 76 of the State Assembly in California just got really interesting. Both candidates running in November are openly gay. Let me repeat that. When voters go to the election both in November, they will not be able to vote for a straight candidate.

Openly gay candidates and elected officials are still underrepresented, however Republican gay candidates and officials are even more rare. Ralph Denney has been a member of the Log Cabin Republicans of San Diego for over a decade and is running as a “family man” and “moral Republican Christian.” You can find out more information at the Gay and Lesbian Times.

This race is good for progressives who are concerned about LGBTQ equality. The battle for full equality is one that involves changing hearts and minds, and if the only politicians talking about equality are Democrats, we are missing a major audience. Moderate voters in California might not be swayed by Rachel Maddow or Barney Frank, but someone like Ralph Denney may appeal and speak to them. The LGBTQ community cannot afford to continue to perpetrate the stereotype that straight conservatives somehow hold a monopoly on “family values”, and Denney may be an important step in the right direction.

I’ve written before about Kurt and his father’s relationship on Glee, and I feel compelled to write again after this Tuesday’s episode. Their relationship should be held up as a model of how pop culture can depict the challenges of coming out of the closet with honesty.

Kurt’s father has been dating Finn’s mother, and as a result he has been spending a lot of time with Finn. Finn likes sports and girls, two things that Kurt does not. Kurt’s father and Finn start to hang out a lot, and Kurt begins to get incredibly jealous. Kurt feels that his dad does not want to hang out with him because he is gay. In a fit of anger, he belts out the classic “Rose’s Turn” from Gypsy. His dad wanders into the theatre and sees the end of Kurt’s song. He confronts Kurt in a scene that deals with the struggles that both men face in their relationship.



Do I wish that Kurt’s father accepted Kurt’s homosexuality unequivocally, no questions asked? Of course. Is that the reality for many gay youth coming out in America today? No, and our pop culture should reflect the challenges of coming out in America today.

On Thursday night, I had the privilege of seeing the new Broadway play Next Fall. Next Fall tells the story of Adam, who finds himself at a loss when his boyfriend Luke, who he has been with for four years, is hit by a taxi driver and rushed to the hospital in a coma. Luke’s friends and family quickly descend upon the hospital waiting room. Adam knows that Luke is not out to his parents, and tension quickly rises as Adam desires to see Luke, but also knows that he has no right to visitation.

Ironically enough, when I returned to my hotel room that night, I had several e-mail alerts notifying me that President Obama had ordered hospitals to grant same-sex couples visitation rights. I sat staring at my computer, slightly dumfounded. After attending a play that evening that dealt with issues of same-sex visitation rights, it was exciting and thrilling to see President Obama take action on this important issue.

At the same time, there is still a great amount of work that needs to be done for full gay equality in America. The President promised a repeal of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy in his State of the Union address, stating, “This year, I will work with Congress and our military to finally repeal the law that denies gay Americans the right to serve the country they love because of who they are. It's the right thing to do.” In addition, it is time Congress moved forward to support and pass an inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act. The time for this action is this summer and this fall, not next. With Republicans likely gaining seats in both the Senate and the House this fall, Obama may miss a golden opportunity to pass important legislation that will benefit the LGBT community.

Obama should be applauded for supporting visitation rights for same sex partners in hospitals, however it’s time that he stood up and pushed for legislation that will protect all lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered individuals from discrimination in the workforce.

This weekend, I am attending the Sexuality Education Advocacy Training in Washington, DC, hosted by the Unitarian Universalist Association, along with other faith communities and Advocates for Youth. I’m joined by two other advocates from North Carolina. I’ll be blogging more as the conference goes on about the work that we are doing, but I wanted to reflect on a moment that happened yesterday during lunch. Delsie and I had McDonalds for lunch, and I decided to order a happy meal. Since I am 20 years old, I decided to lie and pretend like I was ordering the meal for a child in the car. After I placed the order, I was asked if the Happy Meal was for a girl or a boy. McDonalds is offering two toy options right now, Barbies or Lego cars. I was taken aback at first. I replied boy, not really thinking about it, and got my food a couple minutes later.

We discussed later that it was unfortunate that McDonalds works under the assumption that all boys who order Happy Meals will want the “boy toy” and all girls will want the “girl toy”. Our sex does not determine how we choose to act out our gender. If a girl likes Star Wars, she should not be made to feel that she is selecting a toy that is not intended for her sex.

I’ll continue to be blogging and tweeting about the conference as it goes on. You can follow all three NC advocates at our Teen Health Now Twitter page during the next three days: http://twitter.com/TeenHealthNow

As part of The Great American Condom Campaign, I donated 200 condoms to my friend Alexis Dennis, for an alternative spring break trip to the Mississippi Delta to teach sex education in the rural community of Sunflower.  Alexis founded this trip as a special project of the Black Student Movement at UNC.  Alexis is a junior, and led the trip for the first time last spring.

The second batch of participants is headed off this weekend. I sat down with her last week to talk about the importance of the trip and the need for more medically accurate information in rural communities.

Lee: When did you first have the idea to lead this trip?

Alexis: During the summer after my first-year of college, I spent the summer teaching with the Sunflower County Freedom Project in Mississippi, an educational nonprofit that uses the Civil Rights movement to inspire its students. My co-workers and I quickly noticed several things:

First, many students did not understand or know how to vocalize when they were being sexually harassed. Secondly, many of the kids did not know how to take care of themselves during puberty. We decided to spend a couple of hours one day to teach the high-lights of sex education.

To our surprise, the lesson wound up taking six hours! The students had little understanding of their basic reproductive anatomy because they were not taught this information in schools. After leaving, I decided I wanted to find a way to go back and try to fill in some of these imperative gaps in understanding. 



Lee: What can trip participants expect?

Alexis: University students spend half of their time getting to know the area and learning about the history, culture, and social issues of Mississippi. After taking trips in the morning, students will teach a health and self camp with the students at the Sunflower Freedom Project. We teach goal setting, values, communication, anatomy, STIs/HIV, information about contraception, and the difference between healthy and abusive relationships, amongst other topics.

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