by: 
the_enlightenist
the_enlightenistSaturday, November 8, 2008 at 3:13:00 PM EST
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Yes, nowadays we are beginning to accept that we live in a diverse society. Or so it seems. There is a community whose sexuality continues to oppressed – the disabled community.
Sex. It’s a risky subject to talk about, even “sinful”. Yet what most people don’t understand, we are human and have needs and desires, no matter who we are. From time to time we even find ourselves “craving” (it’s how I call it) some form of it. It can kick in randomly. It can be triggered by a touch, a word, an image, sound, or etc. Then it feels like time stops and you go “oh crap I just need to it RIGHT NOW!…” and you weight your options. And with that craving, each of us find ourselves to either a) do nothing about it and let it pass, b) fantasizing a bit of the person of your choosing and do what you got to do, c) call the person you are craving or whoever is willing and “talk it out”, or d) get some action first hand with a person. All of these are options we have. If we choose option A, we try just to stop thinking about it and get ourselves busy with something else. Option B, well, you try to release that tension until it stops. Option C, is when you don’t feel like doing all the work yourself and actually want some attention, body connection, or just communication to feel affection.
Options A,B, and C are pretty easy to choose. Now option D is where we might find some problems. If you are experienced with this type thing it’s not too problematic. Yet, whether or not you are in a relationship, “getting some” is can be the set-up of stressful territory. You may be asking yourself, why “stressful”? Well this is where the enlightening happens people. Let’s look at the sexual imaginary we are exposed to. Have you ever noticed the type of people the media makes the object of desire? These people are near perfect. Yes I may have said it before the reality is no one is perfect, right? However, you are missing this essential thing. Every single one is “able-bodied.” So what do I mean? Well it is as simple as it sounds, these people’s bodies have the ability to do whatever they want… without boundaries…. without a physical disability. It is a known fact that all people who have the same mental capabilities are sexual beings, yet since society emphasizes the need of a perfect body and illustrates who can be the object of desire, thus one can claim this leads to the oppression of people’s with physical disabilities sexuality.
You never see a person with a physical disability the object of desire. Let us take a second to think outside the box. As stated, we all have the same sexual urges, as long as we have the same mentality. Now think of a person you are sexually attracted to. What if they were physical disabled the very next day? Are you still attracted to them? Or does your perception change? Let us switch it a bit. What about your favorite actor or actress in a love scene? This time they too have a physical disability. Are you still attracted by them or are you taken back?
Ok… what does all of this stuff mean??? Well because you never see a person with a physical disability be the object of desire can lead to a form of anxiety for some people, not only for the person with the physical disability but for the other party as well. Because people with physical disabilities are not openly shown in sexual activity, the other party feels an anxiety because they feel that the person with a physical disability is fragile. This concept is not correct, in actuality, it is all about finding a comfort level with the other person and what feels good to them. Ask questions! So take risks, empower yourself by informing yourself with real facts, and deconstruct the ideals that society and media have constructed.
It may be too much to ask but it is worth trying, to break down barriers and create a social change.
Comments
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This is definitely something that I will be researching more. Thank you for turning the lightbulb on.
# Posted By CarylAFY
| 11/8/08 04:15 PM
| Reply
CarylAFY
| 11/8/08 04:15 PM
| Reply
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