So recently, I had a get together with a bunch of friends. At the last minute, I decided to invite my crush. She said she would come! Needless to say, I was happy. So we were all together, but my crush, Jamie, hadn't shown up yet. I was a little bit upset, honestly. But a while into the party, she showed up. She walked in and took my breath away. Jamie loooked beautiful. So we hung out together for a while. Honestly, things were a little akward at first. Then, for some reason or another, we had to get something from a storage space. She and I and another friend headed over to it. Inside there was a pile of those giant exercise balls. After a moment, Jamie looked over at the balls and said "Right now, I really just wanna jump right into those." I laughed because that was what I was thinking. "Then let's do it." I said. My friend jumped into the pile, then I did, then after a minute so did Jamie. We stayed there and just talked for a while. Then I suggested we go explore the building we were having the party in. We got everybody together and headed down to the basement. Somehow, we ended up playing hide and go seek in the dark. Now, to be honest, I am afraid of the dark. Just before the lights went out, Jamie said to me "I'm kind of scared of the dark." I suggested we hide together, and she said yes.
When the lights were out and we were looking for a place to hide, for some reason, I slipped my hand into hers. I don't know why I did it, but I did. And the best part was, she didn't pull away. We enertwined our fingers and it seemed so natural and perfect. Now, I have held hands with guys before, but this was so....different. Better. Sweeter. It  was only for the briefest of seconds, but it was perfect aand enough for now. ( Kind of ironic, that now I am so longing to hold her hand again) So after she let go, we continued to look for a place to hide. We found our way into a closet. (Once again, ironic.) While we in there, it was pitch black. Mostly we were quiet. I tried to make some small talk, but she wasn't really responding. After a little while, I mentioned that it was a little scary because it was so dark. She surpriseed me though, by saying that she didn't mind, anmd that it was a good place to think. In an almost inaudible whisper, I asked her what she was thinking about. She didn't anwser, so it was silent fo ra long while. The whole time I was silently asking her to anwser. And finally, she did. She said "You know Jacob?" I told her I did. Jacob is actually the first and only person I have some out to. She said she was just thinking about some things he had said. I asked her if something he had said was bothering her. She told me it was because he had lied to her and she was now wondering if he had lied to her about anything else. I said "I guess there is never really any way to tell." As soon as I said it, I was mentally kicking myself becuase it was not what I had meant to say. The way she said it though...it made me uncomfortable. And I started wondering if maybe Jacob had told her about my crush on her. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid. I asked her how she knew he was lying and she told me it was because he had told her so. And once again, I felt that little bit of discomfort. In a way, I allmost wish that he HAD told her. I want to know if she would accept me. And to be honest, I'm hoping beyond all hopes that she might even be like me. That she may like me in a way more than friendship. But I know how unlikely that is. So soon after that, we were found. For some reason we decided to hide again. Once again we decided to hide together. We were found, and somehow ended up both being It. After we had found everyone, we all decided to go explore the rest of the church.
I remembered that Jamie had asked earlier about a piano. I took her to the piano that happened to be in the building, and she began to play. Now, piano playing has always been a HUGE turn on for me. I don't really know why. Watching her play, I found myself even more deeply liking her. She looked so beautiful! There are SO many things aobut her that, by my book, make her perfect for me. (She likes pickles, my favorite snack, too, and it seems not too many people do! Lol.)
So I have always been more attracted to a person's personality than to their appearance, an d Jamie has EVERYTHING that I look for and am attracted to. She is musical, kind, artistic, confident, intelligent, has a great personality, is very individual, along with a ton of other traits. Not to mention (though I already have) she is absolutely beautiful in every way! Isn't it ironic that when I finally find the person that is totally right for me...she is a girl. And a girl that, so far, hasn't shown to be anything other than straight. 
But this post is already a very long one, I guess. So that's it for tonight. Thanks for reading! (And i will post something about my coming out to Jacob if anyone wants me to) Thanks again!! :)