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I just recently relized the I may be bisexual. I am in the 9th grade. I hav had te idea/feelings for a while, and I am kind of scared. I want to tell my mom, but I have a feeling that she would be ashamed of me, and I love her so much and I don't want to do that.... I have also hinted to my best friend while she was hanging out at her house. We were playing What If... and I said in a joking tone "What would you do if...I told you I was a Lesbian or Bisexual?" She said "I would yell at you to get out of my house and kick you out." she was smiling, but I could tell she was serious. What's more, I have a really big crush on this other girl. She is really pretty, and we are sort of friends. I don't know if she would except me or not...but she seems open minded, even if she didn't return my feelings. Sometimes I wonder if maybe she might like me,too. But I am scared to tell her, or anyone else for that matter. I live in a small town, where most people are homophobic and, to be honest, I am really self concious about myself and I care what other people think, even if I don't want to. I don't know what to do!
What if all I'm feeling is just...hormones? And if not, how can I tell if this girl i like, likes me too? I feel so confused with my family and friends and feelings...does anyone have any advice or anything? It would be so wonderful....
Thanks.
My name is Rikki, I am an online peer educator for YouthResource, an LGBTQI online resource website.
From reading your post I think you are asking how to come out, if your feelings are normal and how to tell if someone feels the same way about you. Is that correct? If not feel free to correct me so I can better understand what you are asking.
First off here is a link to the YouthResource website: http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org/youthresource
Check it out there are many blogs and people wondering the same things as you. It could be very helpful.
I suggest that you start with telling a friend whom you think would understand. Sometimes it helps to have someone you can be completely yourself with.
You are the only one who knows when it is the right time to tell people. I don't think it is just hormones, but take it slow, remember feelings can change.
As for your best friend, people surprise you, I thought my dad was the most homophobic guy in the world. But, after I told him I was gay, it took a while but after the shock he started to watch his comments and made an effort to get to know the people I dated. My point is if your best friend is your actual best friend then it wont matter.
As for the person you have a crush on, try bring it up, first see how they feel about the LGBTQI community. This might be a way into seeing if they like you or would possibly like you. If you feel comfortable being direct is always good. If they don't feel the same way just respect their feelings. I hate to say it but there are many fishes. =]
Oh yea, moms are great they typically love you no matter what. If you are worried ask her how she feels about gay marriage. And decide from there if it is a good idea to tell her.
I hope I understood your post correctly. I am here for you. Feel free to contact me here or at rikki@mail.youthresource.com
Have a wonderful day scared and confused.
-Rikki