So I have been told to keep everyone updated...which is definitely a good thing i think because writing really helps me clear my head.
Today I went to my local community LGBT center, "The Loft" which was kind of super awkward.
First off I was so nervous that I stood outside for a really long 5 min contemplating what was going to happen when I walked in. As i opened the door I had this sudden urge to just run away, really far away, from everything. And I still feel like that. ....so I walk in and I met this woman named Trudy. She is definitely in her good 50s and she is so sweet. sooooo sweet. But first I had to explain that I was knew to this etc.etc. which was really awkward. But finally that passed and she showed me around the area and explained out The Loft really works. In the end I am super glad I went because I feel like i have a new safe house just in case things head south sometime you know? 
Anyway...second story for the day....So trudy leaves me alone and I start to walk around and explore and such and just as I am leaving, I see guy sitting on the curb crying...I walked over to him and just sat down and asked him what was wrong. He explained he had just come out to his Dad and his Dad had reacted really awfully and was saying stuff about he would never have the son he wanted. And so i held him as he cried and explained that he heard of the loft as a safe place where he could go but he was too nervous to walk inside. Eventually I found out his name was Alex and he was 15 and he had just told his Dad that he was gay. I didnt know what to say or how to respond so we just sat there. We ended up swapping coming out stories and we pretty much spilled our whole lives together. He finally ended up saying that he was too nervous to go inside and could I go with him? Of course I said I would....But than i remembered this quote "Why does the thrill of soaring have to begin with the fear of falling?" and so i told him that...and than i said that until we do learn how to "soar" we won't understand the priviledge to have been born with such large and expansive wings. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, asexual, whatever he considered himseld to be...just to remember that he was amazing and beautiful and to not let anyone...ANYONE tell him differently. The same goes for those of you who are reading this. Coming out is an extremely tough thing to do - and being nervous and having difficulty doing it is so normal. Walking into your first gay community center is the same way. You want to run - but you do not have to. You are all amazing, just like Alex. You are all beautiful and just like Alex, do NOT let anyone tell you differently. Because whoever and whatever you consider yourself to be (sorry repetitive know) be proud of that! Right now, say OUTLOUD...I am _______ and I am DAMN PROUD. Here I will do it for you first....I am into girls, and I am DAMN PROUD of it!!!
 You too have expansive wings, you just need to learn out to use them....
Depending on who is reading this I am either helping, sounding like an idiot, or preaching to the quire. Whatever it is for you take it for what it is and use it the way it is. But remember....be proud.