I found this article, Teens: Oral Sex and Casual Prostitution No Biggie to be really upsetting. Yes, because of the behaviors the teens are engaging in (especially these forms of casual prostitution), but also because of the way the authors handle it.

It discusses the new documentary “Oral Sex is the new Goodnight Kiss” which reveals a teen culture of parties, sexual favors, and the rise of “casual prostitution,” where girls are exchanging these favors for money, homework, or other rewards. I do find the increase of these trends really troubling, it’s clearly a culture of sexual exploitation which violates and devalues the female body and sexuality. But rather than discussing how this is an iteration of a patriarchal culture of sexual violence permissibility, which is occuring shockingly early, the major issue the authors have is: “oh noes! the girls are have teh sex!”

The article is supposed to be about all teenage sexual activity, but focuses entirely on the girls. In both the video and the article it is mentioned that these are, “typical teenage girls from good middle class families”:

“The prettiest girls from the most successful families [are the most at risk]. We’re not talking about marginalized girls,” she said. “[Parents] don’t want to know because they really don’t know what to do. I mean, you might be prepared to learn that, at age 12, your daughter has had sex, but what are you supposed to do when your daughter has traded her virginity for $1,000 or a new bag?”

Excuse me? Am I supposed to be more upset because these are “the prettiest girls”? Is this just expected behavior from marginalized communities?



Is violence against the body of girls of color not shocking, noteworthy or severely damaging? It doesn’t matter which race, class, ethnicity, part of the world women are from, or whether the reporter deems them “good” or “bad”; all forms of sexual violence against the female body is worthy of outrage. Just because the authors are shocked by the fact that these actions are taking in place in white, middle class communities, does not give them the right to allow their ignorance to promote the idea that this type of behavior shouldn’t happen in these communities above all others. And am I wrong, or is their an insinuation that marginalized women aren’t pretty?

The other thing I find really wrong with this article, is that it is entirely focused on the girls, what behavior they are engaging in and at what age. First, because it feels invasive and voyeuristic. While I haven’t figured out a better way, I am constantly upset by how “commentary” on female sexuality often involves the same sexual objectification and shaming as the “real” problems.

Next, I would love to have the authors call out how these males’ behaviors are oppressing and violating female bodies, but no, the major outrage is that girls are having sex at all. By focusing solely on the girls, they are making an assumption that this isn’t a problem for boys. That clearly the boys in the situation are lucky to be receiving sexual favors, that sexual activity this early isn’t negative for males too. Sharlene Azam, the filmmaker, describes why girls might participate in this behavior,

she thinks the “no strings attached” romances could be a defense mechanism against a greater disappointment.

“A lot of girls are disappointed in love,” she said. “And I think they believe they can hook up the way guys do and not care.

“But unfortunately, they do care.”

While it may be true that these girls care too much to be fulfilled by purely sexual relationships, this doesn’t mean that it is not the same for these boys. This assessment reinforces the idea that a young man’s goal should be to have sex, no matter the girl or the situation; that causal sex and hooking up is what’s normal for boys their age, and caring about a relationship is not “the way guys do.” This all plays into this purity myth bullshit which I’m sure you’re aware of.

While the authors don’t posit a solution to the problem, my good friend Melissa does. If teenage girls shouldn’t be having sex, but boys should, why don’t the guys just have sex with each other? Problem solved.