Facebook
When I was in high school, slightly before I came to realize that I was a homosexual, I started to develop a crush on my best friend. I would stay up late wondering how it would feel to have our lips touch... You can use your imagination. The crush was consuming. I wanted to hang out with him every day. I'd always find reasons for him to spend the night or a reason to spend the night at his house. I was spending a lot of energy trying to find out how he felt about homosexuals and how he would feel if a guy liked him. I remember one night when he was spending the night; I asked him once how he would feel if I liked him. He told me, "That's fine but I'm not gay, Rikki". He then said, "Rikki, you're not gay, you like girls, how could you not like girls they have curves".
Since that night, I tried to act straight in hopes that my best friend would not notice I was gay and would forget about that night when I confessed. I focused on not finding reasons to like my best friend. I realized that he would never have romantic feelings for me and I respected that. Not everyone is gay, which is fine.
I started to seek out other identifying gay males. I figured it was useless chasing straight guys. I was able to meet guys who would be more likely to respond how I wanted them to.
I just wanted you to all know that if you have a crush on some guy and if you feel comfortable, let him know, you never know how they will react. But, if he expresses that he does not like you or will never like you because you are not his type, gender wise, take the hint. I know easier said than done, but do not risk hurting yourself or ruining a friendship.
I hate to be cliché, but there are more fish in the sea.
I'm, trying to blog about issues that people might have questions about.
I hope you all have a wonderful New Years.
-Rikki