I didn't intend for it to be so long until my next post. That was, until the 26th.

It was a completely normal night. I was sitting down with my nine year old sister watching American Idol. Any time a man would come on with a slightly feminine voice, she would go on about how "gay" they were. Mind you, she's nine years old. I said that it wouldn't matter, if they were a good singer they were a good singer. Being gay doesn't change it. She went on about how being gay is so wrong, they shouldn't be allowed to marry, and a man laying with a man is disgusting. What disgusted me personally was that this wasn't any of her thoughts. This is only what she's been taught. It's been forced into her head so much that it's just a tape recorder playing.

At this point, my mother comes in. I start bickering with her. She forces Biblical morals into my face and says, "I understand that you have an opinion, but just because the world accepts it doesn't mean you should. All of your beliefs should come straight from the Bible." I tried to explain that no one's beliefs could come firmly and strictly from the Bible, since no one is perfect, but she kept on insisting. She also says, "It's wrong because God made man and woman so that they could procreate, not man and man or woman and woman." She basically said that we're useless in life unless we make babies. In a life cycle, sure. In actual life, not so much. I went to my room.

She came in later, after we both had calmed down, and she explained that being gay is completely wrong. She asked me, "What if your sister came home with a girlfriend? Would you be okay with that?" I said, "Yes, because she's my sister, and I'd always love her no matter what." She replied with, "No, no, you're lying! You know you're lying!" To end it, she used a hypothetical situation to describe her beliefs. "I don't care if you come home with a Caucasian, African-American, Asian, Mexican, man as long as he treats you well. But if you ever come home with a woman, no matter how well she treats you, I couldn't ever accept you. Sure, I'd still love you more than anything, but I would never accept that."

Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep.

I don't write this blog just to pour out my emotions. I don't write it because, "my life is so terrible ugh you should agree." I write this blog because I know that, somewhere out there, there are people like me. There are kids who are scared to ever come out because of parents like this, and I know because I'm one of them. I probably won't ever come out to my mother. I don't know the future. I might fall in love with a lovely man who loves me and treats me wonderfully. But I also might fall in love with a lovely woman who loves me and treats me wonderfully.

The Bible is a good set of rules. We've based a lot of our basic laws of society off of it. But it says a lot of things that were sinful then that aren't considered so now. Since I'm a bastard child, I'm not supposed to join a church, but I have. My mother had me before she was married and she's been divorced before, but she's still in a church. We're all going to sin, no matter how hard we try. There's no passage that says one sin is worse than another, excluding the Ten Commandments. Why do we take honest love and pervert it to this? How is a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman worse than a girl wearing pants or me joining a church?