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I'd like to share a snippet of conversation that I had with a close friend of mine about gender identity. What he said really gave me a lot to think about, and I hope I did the same for him...
So, it's pretty clear that we have rather different views. The thing is, a lot of people and I have rather different views. Which is totally okay, as long as no one's rights are being short-changed in the process.[14:06] ifyawannaimight: i recently started a whole bunch of gender studies about the instution of the gender binary (the idea that there are only two sexes) and how it's used as a way of oppression and classification for people to take comfort in being a part of something[14:07] ifyawannaimight: why can't gender be fluid?
[14:07] w******97759: sounds like a stretch to me
[14:07] ifyawannaimight: well, if sexuality can be fluid, and social status is fluid, and power is fluid...
[14:10] ifyawannaimight: anyway, your sexual organs have nothing to do with your gender identity
[14:10] w******97559: thats an oppinion
[14:10] ifyawannaimight: do you consider yourself to be a man just because you have a penis?
[14:11] w******97559: its a big part of the whole picture
[14:11] ifyawannaimight: but it's not the whole picture
[14:11] w******97559: no, but without it i wouldnt be male
[14:12] ifyawannaimight: what would you be?
[14:13] w******97559: i personally dont care what [people] think they are, because its their oppinion, and everyone is allowed to have one
[14:13] ifyawannaimight: but what about for yourself?
[14:14] wi******97559: as far as male/female, its your sexual organs that determines what you are.what you ate interested in for mating/bonding/whatever is your preferance
[14:15] w******97559: anything inbetween could be a birth defect
[14:15] ifyawannaimight: mm, that's something i see a lot
[14:15] ifyawannaimight: people can't seperate sexual orientation from genitalia from gender identity
I, personally, believe that there is a distinct difference between our genitalia, our gender identity, and our sexual orientation. Having a penis does not the man make, so to speak. And if you agree that genitalia does not define gender, then as an extension of that you see that genitalia cannot define sexual orientation. There's also this idea that only two genders exist, and that you must be one or the other.
A lot of people don't agree with the concept of gender fluidity, and it can be a huge thing to try to wrap your head around. It's really hard to define what a man is and what a woman is, especially when you take out the ability to attach gender to genitalia. And the gender binary -- the existence of only men and only women, no in-between-- is rooted so deeply in society that to even think about removing it from our lives leaves most of us with that head-spinning, nauseous, just-got-off-a-rollercoaster feeling that's so darn uncomfortable.
But the fact is, there are people that exist in that in-between, who don't live by the binary, who have female genitalia and male minds (an devery other mix you can think of), and who want to be able to do the same things with their lives that everyone else can. The first step in making that possible is for me -- and you, you, and you-- to figure out what I think, and what everyone else thinks, and go from there.
So, that's my question to you guys -- how do you feel about gender, and what does it mean to you?
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by Anatic09
I think your post demonstrates how so clearly people compound and give meaning and importance to genialia and connect that to gender and sexual orientation. They are 3 different things, not the same. Good convo to have w/your friend.