I felt exactly this way.  Like I needed another reason to hate that guy!

while i agree with your assertion that there were some images of domestic violence in this episode of glee, and i agree that they weren't handled in the best way. i do have to argue on something. you kind of completely ignore the fact that domestic violence is not only defined as physical abuse, but also as emotional abuse and abuse of power. while will grabbed terri and scared her pretty bad, and i certainly don't advocate putting your hands on someone in anger, i think the real abuser in their relationship is terri, not will. don't get me wrong. the relationship is not at all healthy and the show implies that is hasn't been for a long time. but terri is the one who has been going to extremes to convince will of a complete lie. she says its because she's scared he'll leave her but does that make it okay? no. it's a classic example of one partner have unequal power over the other and using it in an abusive way. terri is not only abusive to her husband but to quinn and every other person she encounters in the series, save for her sister who is equally as manipulative. i don't at all believe that one act of violence excuses another but i do get frustrated when i read this kind of stuff about the character, will, because i don't believe he is an abuser. he lost his temper and very soon after realized it and left. you and this other blogger point to that part in a negative way, like he walked away when she wanted to discuss their relationship, but i think it was the right thing to do. walk away. cool down. talk about it when everyone is in the right place to do so positively. and if terri wanted to talk so badly about their relationshsip, she had ample opportunity to do so when all of this started happening. hell, even beforehand. but she didn't. she manipulated will, the doctor, quinn, and many others to keep her control over them. sounds more like abuse than will being (understandably) upset and, in a not so great moment, grabbing terri's wrist. that seems pretty tame in comparison. women are capable of domestic abuse as much as men are. and in this case, i believe terri is a prime example of that.

I hate to disagree, but I think you're overreacting.  Yes, Will was angry (with very good reason), and yes, he was intimidating, but I think the far more pertinent point is that he wasn't violent.  He didn't allow himself to be consumed by anger; instead, Will left.  I'm sorry, but I don't buy that grabbing someone's wrist is abusive, and there is no way that shouting is.  What is abusive the the way that Terri has been emotionally abusing Will throughout their entire marriage, and had I been in Will's shoes I would have never married her, let alone stayed in that terrible relationship.  This moment on the show was not domestic violence.  It was a brief moment of rage, and the reason it succeeded in making us feel that Will was the victim is because he is actually the victim in this scenario.  He has been decieved and manipulated, and his anger was totally justified.

In fact, and this is a larger issue, had Terri been a man he was angry with, no one would have cried foul.  Or if Terri had grabbed his wrist, or even pushed him and hit him, no one would have called it domestic violence.  There is a double standard when it comes to violence and gender, and yes, there is a certain amount of logic behind it.  Generally men are larger and somewhat stronger than women.  However, that does not mean that every time a man is angry with a woman, and does anything to show his anger, that he is abusive.  It just means he's angry.  Now, if we had seen a pattern of Will raging at his wife, or of him intimidating her and of her being scared of him and submissive to him, then yes, I would agree that the show had crossed a line.  However, had that been his character, no one would ever have seen him as a hero in the first place.  This is not a case of abuse or domestic violence, this is justified anger.

Well, I do agree that violence is unacceptable.  I suppose I just don't think that the use of force is necessarily violent.  And I certainly don't think that this one instance demostrates that Will is abusive.  Yes, he mistreated his wife in this one circumstance, but he had essentially been her servant for the rest of their marriage.  Never before in the show has any abusive relationship been established other than that Terri abuses will, which I suppose is debatable, but I'm on that side that she is abusive.  Will has never been anything other than a gentleman, and the fact that he did give in to his anger for a brief moment shows just how hurt he was.  To me this was a very well crafted moment of television mostly because this was so out of character for Will.  This was not a pattern for him, not even something he had done once before.  I think that the audience understands that this was a weak moment for him, and that he made a mistake.  The show doesn't have to get preachy, which is good because shows get bad really fast when they get preachy.  I think it's enough that Will would normally never do something like this to let us realize that it's not okay to do it.

I agree with you. I felt that Will's reactions were consistent with his character. Furthermore, he showed restraint in not causing physical harm to his wife. He may have been intimidating but he did not cause any domestic violence.

I'm really glad this episode made people think so carefully about unhealthy relationships and how those dynamics can play out in ways that not always what we typically think of. It's really important that you all are pointing out the way Terri is emotionally abusing Will in their relationship. Thanks for doing this. Emotional abuse can often be overlooked for more "typical" or recognizable relationship abuse that often comes in the form of a man physically assaulting a woman. 

But I still stand by what I said before about Will's actions being violent and frightening, and violence being unacceptable. To me, it's as simple as that. Will's anger may have been justified, but justified anger does not equal justified violence.

A couple people have pointed out that this was a one-time incident, while domestic violence often includes a pattern of abuse. Maybe I was too quick to label this incident domestic violence. It was certainly violence, but it was not necessarily a part of a larger pattern of Will abusing Terri. My main point was that this the violence was unacceptable, and I was shocked and disappointed that the show treated it as such.

Thanks again for all of your thoughtful responses.

 I didn't see this scene as a representation of domestic violence at all.  

The description of the scene left out some details.  For instance, that Terri had been manipulating Will from episode 1, twisting him into making decisions solely for her gain, though he was the only one paying for it.  She complains constantly about working "3 hours a day, 4 days a week" while Will worked two, sometimes three jobs to provide her "the lifestyle to which [she was] accustomed".   Terri used her pregnancy as a way of keeping Will under her control.  She didn't show any real desire to have a child or concern for a child; she only seemed interested in the additional power it would give her.  She almost convinced Will to give up teaching (the career he loved) to take an accounting job because it made more money.  She talked him into buying a house that was far beyond their budget, and only backed out of it when she realized that him working around the clock left little time for sex and decreased her chance of getting pregnant.  Once she started wearing the fake baby bump, she refused to let him touch her at all--no hugs, no kisses, he couldn't touch her stomach, couldn't even sleep near her.  She used her sister, her ObGyn, and Will's students to deceive him.  All this manipulation and these lies was not mentioned in the article.  Presented with all the facts, his anger seems a bit more reasonable.

Another point to touch on:  Yes, Terri was in the kitchen.  It was one of the very few times we saw her there.  In all previous episodes, she had refused to cook, forcing Will to provide dinner (as well as bringing her lunch during his lunch break) on most occasions.  If I remember correctly (forgive me if I'm wrong), she wasn't even cooking.  She was simply debating where she would order take-out for that night (since she and Will were having a conversation about not wanting Chinese again merely minutes prior to the confrontation scene).  Although I hardly believe a woman should be confined to the kitchen, I do believe that marriage is an equal partnership, and that there is nothing wrong with Terri doing her share of the cooking and providing for the family.

As far as your definition of violence:  It must be noted that Will entered the kitchen angrily, but still maintaining a level of calm.  He kept his voice low.  Only when Terri persisted in lying to him--even after it was obvious she had been caught--did Will raise his voice.  Such a reaction is understandable.  He's human; we all lose control at times.  He didn't call her derogatory names; he didn't threaten her.  He just told her to stop lying to him, which is a perfectly reasonable reaction, and better than the reactions of most men in similar situations.  He grabbed her wrist and pulled up her shirt, but only because she refused to do so herself.  He didn't hurt her.  He wasn't even that rough with her.  He was firm.  Again, his reaction was that of anger, but it was a perfectly human response and much better than what I had expected.  

Of course there was no calm, rational conversation in which Terri expressed her worries and fears, giving Will the chance to understand.  Will had opened up numerous opportunities for Terri to talk to him about the "pregnancy" and what was going on in her life; Terri always either brushed him off or lied to him.  Terri shut him out of her life entirely.  It's impossible to have a conversation to resolve issues and discuss concerns when the one with the concerns refuses to admit them and instead resorts to manipulation and lies.  

So while Will's anger was somewhat unattractive, it was hardly abusive.