Recently, my sister and I watched an episode of the show World's Strictest Parents, which is basically two teens trying to live in the house of (shocker) strict parents for a week. The point is to have the kids learn something about their lives or whatever. You know, its full of all these meaningful moments and is all dramatic and whatnot. So, on the first day, the parents go over their ground rules, i.e. respect each other, work as a team, no cussing, etc. One rule though, I found interesting: the dress code for girls. Basically, no short shorts, no shirts that showed bra straps, nothing revealing. Now at first, I thought this was pretty reasonable; nobody wants to see someone's butt cheeks hanging out of their shorts. But when I heard why the rule was set, I wasn't too sure if I agreed. The mother's main issue was that wearing a one-shouldered shirt meant that girls had no self confidence, and were telling the world “don't get to know me, just look at my body”, something that the mom repeated through the show incessantly. (Seriously, she said that she thought the teenage girl only wore shorts because she had “no confidence”. This is someone she barely knows, by the way. ) Now, I guess fine and dandy, respect your body and all, but I just couldn't fully agree. Why? well, I have a few reasons:

1)Girls should be able to express their sexuality through their clothes

Now, I know there are certain cases where you don't want a 16 year old out dressed in lingerie or something. And yes, it could be partly society's fault that this particular girl chose to dress revealing; society tells us to take it all off, but if we do, we're big ol' sluts. (Read He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know by Jessica Valenti if you want a more in-depth analysis. Actually, go read anything written by Jessica Valenti, she' s fucking hilarious.) But if you feel hot, you should be able to wear an outfit that reflects that. And, at 16, young women are exploring their sexuality. (I'm 15, I should know.) And telling a girl that wearing a tank top means she feels worthless about her body is bullshit. And, it probably will make her feel like she's worthless if you tell her that.

2)Perpetuates idea that women should be sexless; prude; good girls

Again, we're sluts if we wear a skirt that goes mid-thigh. And it's not like this is something new, or anything. Women have been pressured to be this way for fucking ever. Really, it's just about controlling our bodies, because lord knows we don't own them, someone else does. (the family didn't say that god owned her body, thank goodness, but this is more of a general example.)

3)Counterexamples: Amanda Palmer and Margaret Cho (amoung others)

Quick story: while watching the show and the mother said for the friggin 100^th time (I'm not exaggerating) that women who show off their body have no confidence, my sister stated, “Well, what about Amanda Palmer?”. Yes, what about Amanda Palmer, indeed. (if you don't know Amanda Palmer, she's an amazing artist/musician person; she lead the band The Dresden Dolls and put out a solo album last year. (www.dresdendolls.com and www.amandapalmer.net) She also strongly believes in loving one's body and a bunch of other awesome stuff. And, as a bit of a background story/example, last year she made a music video for her song Leeds United in which her belly was showing, and got a bunch of shit from her record label that she was too fat; she told them basically to fuck off, then her fans sent her pictures of their bellies in support. We called it the Rebellyon: www.therebellyon.com) Now, for afp's stage act, she wears very revealing clothes (she is cabaret, after all) but, she definitely doesn't feel like shit about her body. Also, Margaret Cho used to do burlesque to make her feel good about her body. And it worked. So to generalize that every woman who bares flesh feels shitty about her body is complete bull.

In all, I don't think this was a bad family. (At one point they went to help a 17 year old girl who had 2 kids and one on the way clean her house. Rock on.) But this rule I felt kind of on the fence about. But then, I think, is it wrong to tell a 16 year old to cover up, or is it wrong to tell a 16 year old that if she doesn't cover up it means she feels like crap about herself? I think i know the answer.