I’m pro-choice and I’m pro-life. It’s a definition that I’ve come to myself, interest-group free.

For a long time, I was about nothing more than ensuring a women’s right to choice—to choose if and when she would become a mother. Over time, my beliefs have become more complicated with the more people I meet, the more stories I hear, and the older I get.

Before either side sounds the alarm, hear me out.

In the abortion world, there are two camps: the extreme pro-choicers and the extreme pro-lifers. We seldom (if ever) see the regular people who have been touched by abortion. Planned Parenthood and the Ohio Right to Life both have testimonials from women to advance the organization’s interests, not necessarily the story of everyday women.

I’m not relinquishing my pro-choice beliefs. Instead, I’m adopting some new ones. Sitting for an entire day listening to testimony for both sides on House Bill 125, the “Heartbeat” Bill, I’m rattled and frustrated. Perhaps you should be, too.

It’s not just the fact that this legislation would prohibit abortion after a fetal heartbeat is detected that brings about frustration. If you know me, you know I think that this is the wrong approach. If you disagree, then let’s agree to disagree. Still hear me out.

What I cannot understand—what baffles and confuses and angers me—is the fact that we have a middle ground, yet so few are willing to leave the comfort of their talking points and their derisive language to try to come up with a solution.

Abortion is “erroneous” fetuses have “civil rights,” and the constitution is “perverted”. Ok, ok—I get it. You are opposed to abortion. Fine. I personally believe it’s less black and white, but can we set those arguments aside and move toward the one that really matters: prevention?

When we want to prevent car accidents, we teach people how to drive safely. When we want to prevent poverty, we attack its root causes: addiction, education, unplanned pregnancies, etc. And when we want to prevent abortion—which we must all have a stake in—then we have to start with preventing unplanned pregnancies.

How? We could start with improving sex education. On an issue that clearly drums up endless passion on both sides, would we ever come up short on ideas? I doubt it. The key is to put our differences aside and reunite as Americans with a singular purpose: to improve the quality of life for everyone, young and old. There is something inherently pro-life sounding in that, if you ask me.

Yes, I’m pro-choice. But, like many others, including those on the pro-life side, we are so much more than our labels, so, if you dare, leave yours at the door and let’s actually solve a problem instead of creating new ones.