Most of the information and stories I hear about sex education are negative.  Many schools in America teach abstinence-only, and too many young people leave high school with an incomplete knowledge of sexual health. Today, I am going to share a more positive story.

I go to Carolina Friends School, a private Quaker school that is very liberal and open about sex and sexual health. I took our required "Adolescent Health" class last year, and it was a positive experience for me.  Working as an activist for sex education has made me appreciate the program I have at my school; I am lucky to have a comprehensive sex-ed program.  The class is offered every semester both as a co-ed and a single sex class.  Teachers who usually teach other subjects teach the class, but they have to have a complete knowledge of sexual health to be allowed to teach Adolescent Health.

We talk about basic anatomy, sexual identity, how to protect against pregnancy and STD’s, and talk about what constitutes a good relationship.  We are told that abstinence is the best way to prevent pregnancy and STD’s because it is the only method that is 100% effective.  We are also told that if we are going to have sex, there are many ways to stay safe and then we learn about all forms of birth control.  We also read interesting news articles about relationship issues and gender issues, and discuss what it means to respect our partner.  The most important thing I took away from the class was the point about discussing birth control and condom use BEFORE an intimate experience.  It can be very hard to have a talk about using condoms right before sex is about to happen, it is better to establish ground rules before hand so when the time comes both partners are on the same page.

Our teachers are always completely open and honest, and if they do not know the answer to something they find out and discuss it next class.  We also always take a trip to the local Planned Parenthood, where health educators and doctors talk about sexual health and ways to stay safe.  Since Planned Parenthood staff work with these issues everyday, they are very helpful.  The PP people also talk about what services Planned Parenthood offers.

We are also encouraged to be an active member of our community at my school, and I was allowed to organized a trip to the state legislature with my health class.  We talked with elected officials and encouraged them to vote in favor of a comprehensive sex education law.  The law passed last year, so now all schools in NC will be teaching comprehensive sex education!

I feel that it is extremely difficult to talk honestly with a partner about sex.  It is much easier to enjoy the relationship, and to push the tough questions into the future and "deal with them later."  In truth, too many young people do not ever face the tough questions because people do not feel comfortable talking about it.  The sex "just happens" without proper thought going into protection.  An open, honest discussion with peers and teachers at school helps with this immensely. I have practiced talking with people about condom use, so now it is much easier to face the issues in my relationships and talk BEFORE the fact about using protection.  Condoms are also available at school, and we can go into a teacher’s office and take some at any time.  This ensures that all of the students at my school are safe.

So far, things are working well.  There have been almost no pregnancies ever at my high school.  This program works well for parents, too.  My parents are happy I am getting this information at school because they do not have to talk with me about it at home.  And while I do respect my parents, I would MUCH rather hear about how to stay safe from a Planned Parenthood staff person than my mom.  Lets face it…thinking about parents and sex at the same time is kind of awful.

Overall, I strongly encourage all schools to embrace an open, complete, accurate comprehensive sex education program. This comprehensive approach helps teens make healthy decisions and opens up conversations among youth about using protection.  I am lucky to go to a school that has this, but the sad truth is that many other people do not.

What does your school teach? Do you think you know all the facts about sexual health and are you comfortable talking with a partner about protection? If you did not learn about sexual health in school, where did you get your information?