By Candy Sunday
Namibia

Life is a gift freely given. I think we all have to enjoy our life in our own way and in doing so discover ways of making ourselves happy. Although we got it free, this does not mean that we are the same because I am me and you are you. So I do not understand why many people suffer for who they are in this world because of being gay, lesbian, or openly living with HIV. It does not mean that you have to be like a person to support them, but you have to support others because of the LOVE you have for them and you must show it. We all know that gay, lesbian, disabled and people living with HIV are our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons and people around our community. We have to show LOVE and CARE to them. If you do not do that then who do you expect will do the same on your behalf? It’s our own people that we are stoning to death. What is the use of hating and beating up gay and lesbian people? When we talk of rights for all, where are the rights for them? Where and when are they protected? They can’t walk freely in their own home town. People call them so many bad names. Here I call it time wasting because even in Africa where people believe that this not a place for gay and lesbian people, they are here and they will be here because they are from here and they have feelings like you and me.

It’s still hard because inside your house you are somebody else and when you are with people who really understand you, and then you are somebody else again. It’s simply called feelings- why can’t they be allowed to fall for whomever they want when they are just human being like anyone else? Why do they even have to fight for this in the first place? Our friends, brothers and sisters are homeless now because their family disowned them for being who they are and for not hiding their feelings. I have a child and I am not the master of his destination or happiness. I will love him always as his mother no matter what he might be.

I see us going nowhere with this much stigma and discrimination among us. Instead of us being part of the solution, we are part of creating more problems. Young people, do you see yourself achieving anything? I know that we are the future and leaders of today so let’s fight stigma and discrimination. You are committing no crime by loving and respecting those people for who they are. The best medication of people living with HIV is to be stress free and have support, love and care from people around them. Even in this world when ARV treatment is helping people living with HIV to be so well, the discrimination is still there. Wake up world, we are not dying of HIV like in past years when there was no ARV treatment. Things are much better now so let’s just work on addressing stigma and discrimination because we will get nowhere as long as people living with HIV continues to be mistreated and stigmatized.

In conclusion, I am young, tall, and I have all that can make a woman beautiful. I do not care if people think I am gay, lesbian, or have HIV. What I care about is fighting for everyone’s rights and to see that my efforts mean something to every person. If I have to walk naked for people to hear me, then I will do it. I am here fighting for the right of people living with HIV and the right for all. In all my stories, I like to say young people, let’s hold hands together and walk together as one. I am nothing without you but with you I will achieve a lot. I need you and you need me. I love posting because this is the only way I can talk to many of you- to anyone who is reading this and might be going through some difficult times. Now, I want you to know that you are not all alone because you have me as a friend and sister and many other people around the world. If you find yourself down, please pick yourself up and stand tall because I know you can do it no matter how hard it can be. Live your life like there is no tomorrow and be happy always. I have to love and leave you now until next time.

By Candy Sunday
Namibia

A child is supposed to enjoy that time of her/him being a child, but if we take a minute and look around I do not think we are seeing kids enjoying their childhood. I thought that this sense that children are not enjoying their childhood was going to end as time went on but I am not seeing the change — things are still the same as in my time when I was little. I do not remember enjoying my childhood. I grew up knowing that my mom and dad loved me but they were not married and I had to stay with my dad's family. They made my life a living hell as young as I was, and my life was boring because I was lonely most of the time. School was a better place for me but other kids were scared of me because of my rudeness. I use to fight a lot with boys — I just hated them a lot because the person who was raping me was a big guy and I could not fight him.

Many kids today are growing up knowing nothing about sex but because some are being raped, they have to do it any time the person who is forcing them to have wants it. It's painful to know that most people who rape kids know about their HIV status but they do not care that they are infecting an innocent child. Fathers are raping their own flesh and blood — where is the world going to? This is also making women scared of leaving their kids under the care of some males.

I would like for the children to get their childhood back to enjoy it and have good memories about it when they grow big. Most of us do not have a good story to tell about our childhood because it's just about being raped, beaten, and abused in many different ways. Some of the kids do not even have their lives because they are raped and killed. I know carrying HIV is not easy for anyone but getting it as an innocent child by being raped is one of the most painful things one can go through.

Family that is supposed to give kids love and care are the same people who abuse them. Most of the kids are now homeless because they run away from their family houses. What kind of a good life do you expect from a child like that? Some kids hate their house because there is abuse among their parents. I keep asking myself as a young woman who has gone through that, "What can I do to make some kids lives better and to stop this nightmare?" I know things are still happening but kids nowadays are more open-minded. If we give them their rights and clear information, they will know who to talk to when they find themselves in a situation like that. I suffered all night because I did not know who to talk to and I thought what happened to me was the right thing because it was an adult who was raping me.

Many of you who are reading this know this is happening but as young people, we need to hold hands together and do what is best to make the world a better place for all. I know we cannot change this in one day but let's not give up no matter how hard things might be. Giving a little good information that will educate people around you — it's the best thing to do. In that way we are helping many kids to get their childhood back in their hands. Mothers caring and loving our kids is not a must but is the best gift any child will get from their parents or guardian because they do not apply to be born. I am nothing without you but with you I will archive a lot. I need you and you need me to fight this. I have been posting and I will keep posting — talk to you soon.

By Candy Sunday
Namibia

HIV/AIDS has killed many of our loved ones over the years and it used to be worse than it is now that we have ARV [antiretroviral] treatment. When ARV becomes available it helped people who felt hopeless and lifeless who were living with HIV. What would happen to all the people living with HIV if it was not for this treatment? I guess the world would be empty by now. Back before there were ARVS, HIV/AIDS was known as killer disease and when people know you have it nobody will even come near you or talk to you. Many people living with HIV were disowned by their families and lived homeless because of HIV.

As a 26-year-old young positive mother it breaks my heart writing this because HIV took many of people I love and it made me any orphan at a very young age. HIV has destroyed many houses and left many kids homeless and helpless. But I have hope now because ARV treatment it is giving people living with HIV a positive outlook on life. It’s because the good medication I got when I was pregnant that my 8 years old son is not living with HIV. As a mother, what else could I ask for? Most of people never think that people living with HIV have a life to live. They would always assume that people living with HIV would die soon. After the introduction of ARVs, though, a big shock come to many as they began see positive people living well and being healthy.

I am a believer and a dreamer and I believe that everything is possible and that you can do anything and everything. There is treatment now meaning people with HIV should have the right to plan their family the way they wish and when they want to rather than their right to do so being taken away. It’s sad to know that forced sterilization is happening to people living with HIV and that good information is not given to them so that they make their own choice about family planning. Our happiness been taken away in that way. Poverty is in many countries but even if someone is poor and has HIV, that person still has his/her full rights and they should be allowed to plan their family. People should learn to help in simple useful ways by giving good information and words of encouragement rather than sterilization.

Its long hard road but I know people living with HIV have hope and we will keep fighting for better and equal rights for all in education, health care, work, and everything else. I know all will just be fine soon. We have ARV treatment, we are healthy and we will keep our head up for the best. We hold hands to support each other and to make sure that stigma and discrimination come to an end. I have been posting and I will keep posting. Talk to you soon.

How do people claim to love women and their kids when they abuse them? That's a question I keep asking myself but I never got the right answer for it and it really needs one good answer. Most of the stories I write are about things that personally touch me and that I went through but no matter how hard things have been, I always manage to walk away. That's why I call myself a strong young woman and I am proud of myself and want to see all young people feel proud of themselves. This is not about me anymore but it's about all of us who are touched by this and who are willing to hold hands together and end this at once.

Women are loving and caring people but I do not understand why abusers do not see that and appreciate them. women are being insulted and beaten in front of their kids every day, everywhere worldwide. The child's mind will never be okay seeing his/her mum beaten every day and most of the time kids who see that end up thinking it's the right thing to do, which is not okay for any body's child in life. Candy is a young woman who has been in an abusive relationship for four years and I am proudly writing this with a smile on my face happy that I managed to walk out last year. It was not easy to walk away because it's always hard for women to walk away from their abuser. Whoever is reading this and if you are in that situation, please tell yourself that you still have a good life without that person because he/she is not the reason you are living for. Talking from experience, it's not easy but with the support of people who really love and care for you, it is possible and trust me, you will feel good and proud of yourself when you get yourself out. Just close your eyes and think of how beautiful you are and walk away because that's a decision you have to make on your own. I know that most women let themselves stay in this situation because of poverty, I can only say that I fully understand you but find something to do as women and walk away because if even if a man is a bread winner in the family. it does not mean he has all the right to abuse any one. We all have rights as human being but not the right to make each other's a life in hell. No matter how poor any one can be, the fact remains that we all have right. Women are vulnerable to everything because most of them are not well educated or have no income but that should not be the reason for letting yourself down. Be a dreamer and always think positive.

It's always a wise idea to talk to people who listen to you than think that keeping quiet is the best talk to people to get advice. Talking to each other is the only way we can end this violence and help other women who are in this situation. Women, no matter how much you think you love your abuser you must walk away because they do not deserve it. I know there are still women who are suffering and do not know who to talk to or how to get out but having self-confidence is all that one needs and know that you are not alone in this. There are many people who have been in that situation and now they are out and they are now together, fighting for violence against women to come to an end. Some of them are writing stories to let the world know that they are not happy with violence against women and kids and they will fight to end and help others, while some women have support groups where they meet and encourage each other. If you get yourself in here, know that you are not alone in this because we are one big family hoping for a better tomorrow for all. Talk to you soon- I will be posting more.

As a 25-year-old young woman living in Namibia, it really upsets me that girls are still forced to marry against their will. I know there is culture in the world but the culture of parents forcing girls to get married should end. Knowing that there is HIV in the world and that those types of things are happening -- it’s sad to all of us young people. If we talk of rights for all, then girls should have their right to choose their husband when they are ready.

I know that in Africa we are poor but that should not make it okay for our parents to choose a husband for us. Before they do that, people should always think of the happiness of that young person. How does a young person enjoy that marriage when the girl cannot even ask the husband to go for an HIV test? Men treat their young wives with no care and respect because they know they can always replace her with a new one. This will only end if we all hold hands together to fight this child marriage and support the young people who are disowned by their family because they refuse to marry a man who has been chosen for them.

There are a lot of young people who do not have families anymore because of being disowned by their family. They might not have their biological family but we are all there as one big family that will stand for each other no matter what. I am proudly writing this story because I managed to walk away from the marriage people wanted me to go in. I could not stand letting myself get married against my will and in my case, I hated the reason that people used that I should get married -- because I am infected by HIV. I made it clear to everyone that with my HIV, I still have my full rights and I am still the driver of my own life no matter what. Young people, we should not let anyone drive our own life because then we will be unhappy for the rest of our lives.

Young people, seek for help and support were you can get it. Some people might not care about how we feel or what we want but there are those who are willing to help and support us. Life can be hard and challenging but we should not let the challenges put us down. Make the best decisions when you have to and be who you are. Sunday candy writes this story but I am writing on behalf of millions of young women and girls who face this challenge in life. We all know it’s hard to be disowned by your own family trying to do the best thing for yourself but we have got to be strong and face life with its challenges. Child marriage is happening in many part of the world. As we read this, please let’s do something positive that will help girls in this situation. We want people to recognise the right of these young people and respect their decision no matter what. We must be the driver of our own life.

Editor's Note: The writer is from Namibia.

This was the best experience I had in my life at the urban retreat 2011. It’s a good thing to bring young people together to share their life experience and challenge of life they face in their everyday life. Being there to make a speech on challenges that face us people living with HIV made me feel like a hero in a group of other young people. The youth face different challenges in life but at the end of the day, we are aiming for just one thing in life worldwide, which is to end stigma and discrimination. Many of us face stigma and discrimination because of our HIV status and being gay and lesbian and many people of us are discriminated against by people those who part of our close family.

I want to salute the Advocate for Youth because it’s one big family that understands the young people in what they are going through. Advocate for Youth manage to bring 130 young people from different country to come together and share, which made us feel proud and empowered. Going back to my country I feel stronger as a young woman living with HIV representing a big number of young people living with HIV and do not get a chance to speak out. It feels so good to be sitting here and write this about the urban retreat 2011 because it really helped us the, young people. To me, I can’t ask for more because of this good chance we are given by the Advocate for Youth. Washington DC was the place to be for the young people. We discussed issues, we cried together, we advised each other and did the lobbying, which was a good and wonderful experience to many of us.

Why will I not want to live and make a change in the world, when I have all it takes to be a leader? Young people we are the leaders of today thanks to Advocate for youth for giving this platform to young people. To young people who will get a chance to read the story that I [candy Sunday] write I just want tell you that we must believe in ourselves and support each other. Know that whatever you are going through you are not alone and it’s not the end of the world. I know youth cannot change the world in one night but believe me that one day we will be free from stigma and discrimination. I am proud of young people because we are now part of the solution not part of the problem. Together we can make a change. This is just one of the stories that I will be posting every month. I took this opportunity to thank Advocate for Youth for the work that they are doing with young people and to tell my fellow young people that we will make it. Let’s work hard because hard times never kill but make you stronger. We have each other and we will support each other all way we can. I will be posting more….talk to you soon.

Editor's Note: The writer is from Namibia.

As a young woman living with HIV I have this to say. It has had a big impact on my life. At first I did not understand what HIV is, all I heard of it was a very bad killing virus and I thought I was going to die that time, but years were just passing and I looked fresh and healthy, until I get to know that with it you can still live longer.

Sometimes back then I used to hate people and blame them a lot, especially people who were around me when I use to be raped and get this HIV as a small girl. But later living with my HIV give me strength to forgive the people and live with them as a family again.

It was not easy and it is not easy to live with HIV but I am proud of having it because it made me a strong young woman. It has changed me into a strong young woman who value all the people infected and affected ones by HIV. I become a caring and loving lady everywhere I go, especially in my community, trying to give information to them and know how to live with it, all that because I do not want any young girl to suffer in my way -- it's painful.

HIV has killed my mum, dad, big sister, uncles and aunties, but it made me who I am today. An orphan but strong.

Yes, I am living with it but I am beautiful and a strong young woman who is not scared of facing anything good or bad today. In 2003 i fall pregnant and give birth to a baby boy who is HIV NEGATIVE and that makes me a proud mother. It makes me value all the young positive mothers in the world. HIV made me see that you can still have a good job, a good family, and kids.

As a young woman living with HIV I want all the young woman to hold hands and support each other. For those who are infected like me, please tell yourself that you are beautiful and believe in yourself. To the young woman who are NOT infected, girls please love us, take care of us. We need your support. I feel and believe that with HIV you can live longer than you think, myself I never knew if I would get to 2009 and now it is 2011. If people around you make you feel that you are a valuable person.

I want to remind all of you that this is my true story. I am now 25 years old and I was told that I have HIV in 1998. It's been many years now and if you see me, you can't believe only if I tell you. 2004 when my mum died I suffered a bit but I got a chance of picking myself up and do volunteer work in my community. It keeps me going and I love it.

It is very important to understand and live a positive life. I am a mother of a 7 year-old boy and a big sister of 2 and an orphan. Imagine has this been easy for me? No! But with the support and believing in myself I am here. I respect, love, and care for HIV-affected people. I have overcome challenges in my life of stigma and discrimination.