I've heard the concerns on the whole teens having sex before their ready talk but it didn't really affect me. I plan to stay abstinent as long as i can. BAM! Turns out, my older sister doesn't have the same ideas as I do on that topic. Which is fine with me and no big deal. THat is, if you don't live as an active LDS or rather, mormon.  And of course, with her luck she was found out within a few weeks. All the sudden there's chilling threats, meetings with higher authorities being scheduled, bawling, and so much more fun stuff. The best part is? He's the bishop's son. That's the equivalent of dating and screwing the pastor's  son who was SUPPOSED  to be celibate.  and now he's cracked under pressure and broken up with her, leaving her broken, and depressed so bad i'm afraid she's gonna commit suicide.Oh you've gotta love this culture. They didn't use protection. Why? Shame, insecurity, unpreparedness the list goes on and on. Just to show how stressful the possible pregnancy situation is, my mother had three kids in three years. Very scary in this case.  Any advice?

Well, how do i put this. The more i try to find someone that shares my sexuality, the stupider i feel. Let's just say there have been alot more false alerts than actual hits. And every single one of them leaves me more dumbfounded then the next. Usually its because i set myself up every time, by being too broadminded. Which i mean, is a good thing in some cases but not in this one.  It feels like very single girl at my school likes guys or is still DEEP in the closet. I don't really blame them because I am too. But i still want to find someone. How can you know or tell? Cuz my feelings, intuitions or whatever  you  call them  have left me hanging on my own  noose of hope.

i guess i should've seen it coming. But i didn't. You see, I was raised in an enviroment where I would be the least likely to be  lesbian. Heck, i didn't even know what the word meant til i was maybe in 8th grade. But i am a lesbian. Thinking about it, i guess there were some signs, i couldn't see them cuz i had lived too sheltered of a life to notice them. You know that game kids play called doctor? Well, it usually involoves a boy whippin out his thing for a girl to see and a girl lifting up her shirt (maybe) for a boy. I did that. With girls. Nothing bad happened, we were just curious kids. I would get reprimanded for doing that and told that it "was bad" and maybe put on time out or something. I never did that with boys. In fact even a thought of a guy's thing makes me shudder. (ironically i'm quite a prude with these things) Next i know, I'm in junior high and i don't really like guys all that much. They're just so........immature,gross,unstable, etc.(No offense to guys out there, but your sex really isn't my type.) Anywho, starting about seventh grade maybe  i start having these HUGE crushes on girls. Usually just one, for sometimes an entire school year.  When i saw them my stomach would flip, even if it was just during passing period. I'd want to talk to them, know them, become the friend they would confide in. (silly i know) None of that ever happened. But to me, that was me covering and getting familiar with the idea of having an emotional relationship with girls. Time progressed,  i moved up a couple levels in acceptance, and here i am. A girl who believes that you are born the way you are, it doesn't just happen. A girl who checks out cute chicks she doesn't even know. (thank god no friends have become appealing yet.) And finally (and sadly) a girl who doesn't have the guts to come out of the closet until she can actually provide for herself and not be worried about getting kicked out of the house. But hey, i know who i am. And that's all that matters.