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I know this isn’t really a blog but I feel this is something I need to share. I am a gay male and a survivor of intimate partner violence. Through finding strength in others I was able to get out of the relationship and start the long winding road to getting my life back. At the beginning of the road I had lots of help, it was like a parade, but as I got further along the road I thought I had figured things out. I started to send people home, my parade became a caravan and then it was just me. I felt better, I felt new, I was still traveling along the road. But I didn’t have it all figured out, some life issues and post-traumatic stress got me lost on the road. I then found myself deeper in the darkness then I had ever been, I was in a state of depression with no way out. I thought people wouldn’t understand me, I thought I couldn’t go back to them since I had sent them away. So I kept traveling alone and I was going nowhere, I became suicidal, I didn’t want to be here anymore, the way things were going I saw no hope of things changing. I kept traveling alone. My thoughts became darker and darker, I thought of all the ways around me I could use to end my life, and then everything changed… By complete chance I was picked to go on a retreat run by my college, the contents of which were kept “secret”. I won’t reveal the “mysteries” but I will tell you what they did. They helped me find Love. Love for myself and love for everything around me, I rediscovered how to accept love and was shown that there is love all around me. I was pulled kicking and screaming out of the darkness. I had my parade back. So now I can tell you I know that when you go through rough times, be it bullying, abuse or something else, it seems like you are alone but know that you are surrounded by love and all you need to do is let it in. Call the friend you haven’t talked to in a while, visit the teacher you had last year that showed an interest in you or talk to a faith leader whoever they may be. If you can’t find that love immediately around you know that there are people who love you, pick up a phone and call The Trevor Project (1.866.4-U-TREVOR) or the Gay Mens Domestic Violence Project (1.800.832.1901) or reach out to Peer Educators from YouthResource or MySistahs. You are loved, never forget it.
