There’s no question about it – I knew I liked women (as well as men) at an early age. At first, I think I only focused on boys because that’s what was expected of me – since, you know, all the childhood games were focused on hetero-normative ideals from the song Billy and Susie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G to playing the make believe version of “house” with Barbie and Ken. However, it all changed one day, when I realized I was infatuated with my mother’s friend to the point that I had wished I was older to be with her: hold hands, kiss, caress and even have sex with her (even though I had the slightest idea what girl on girl sex would look like other than being butt naked, kissing and admiring each other’s bodies…). I knew from this day forward that being physically and sexually attracted to women would be part of my focus for potential partners in the future because I had no control over who I became attracted to.

Fast forward about 8 years later, I was in my first relationship with who happened to be a girl. However, very few people knew we were together because either of us was out at the time. I can literally name just two people who knew about our relationship, reason being that it wasn’t safe to come out at the time. But during the whole time of our relationship I felt horrible because I was being fake and not being true to myself and other people (although I do have to admit it was fun at first because of all the running around and the making up of stories and excuses just to find quality alone time… it was like a fun hunting game but that quickly became old).

After that relationship ended, once in college, I began coming out only in safe spaces within the LGBTQ community – I never thought I would ever come out in my Latino family because my family is extremely homophobic.

However, I finally did it!

At first I came out to my two brothers my freshman year of college… My younger brother, Danny, took it better than I expected considering his strong Christian affiliation – he was ok with it as long as he wasn’t immediately involved in that part of my life. My older brother, Cristian was surprisingly supportive. “It’s cool my ex-girlfriend is bisexual and I didn’t care so you are cool with me too.” Telling my brothers took a huge weight off my shoulders, next stop – mom and dad. I ended up waiting 4 years later to come out to my parents because I finally just needed to get it off my chest.

It happened during a family meeting a few weeks ago as we were wrapping it up in the kitchen. (I got to courage to do it since my older brother was with us – he was in town visiting from California – I knew if anything were do go down I had him for support). “Mom, Dad I have something to say…” I paused and looked at my brothers… “AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHH HERE IT COMES!!!” yelled Danny, jumping up off his seat and shaking the chair up and down. Cristian was trying not to laugh but was confused what was going on…

“Mom, Dad, I like women too…” My parents’ reactions? Dad: “Pass me the tequila.” Mom: “How? I couldn’t tell?!?” (Note: They kinda took it better than I expected.)

After that, the room went silent. My dad then stopped my mom from saying something outlandish and ignorant …. “Think before you say anything….”. “I love you regardless but …” My older brother stopped her, “its ok to be gay mom… it doesn’t matter. My ex was bisexual…. It’s whatever.”

Since then, my sexual orientation hasn’t come up for questioning or comments… although it does bother me that my family identifies me as bisexual (I identify as queer or simply just a sexual being…), it’s kinda hard to translate what it means to identify as anything other than gay, lesbian, or bisexual in the Latino community, I am glad that I’ve been able tofeel fully present in spaces with identities and all...

So I found (via my friend Juila G) yet another awesome video on YouTube. It is about sex workers talking about what they need from their partners. I find it empowering that this exists...

Check it out:


Let me know what you think and share your thoughts....

I just found this clip on YouTube that I found really interesting. It talks about the HIV/AIDS population that affects people with disabilities (PWDs). Besides the fact that I really dislike the use of "handicap" and "disabled" due to its derogatory nature within history and emphasizing of the body being flawed or not up to par (I prefer using person first language)...I think this video hits the issue dead on and brings things into perspective and into light of what is missing in our everyday dialogue and education of sexual health.

Check it out:

Things to point out that I see that are relevant for PWDs on a national level and global level. (I am making a correlation here based on my life and of my peers' experiences and life experiences seen in the video:

-PWDs feel like we have something to prove: being good in and at sex (which I am developing a theory based research on internalized asexuality or hypersexuality of PWDs) 

-PWDs are last to know sexual health education. We are not taught therefore can be put at higher risk to get HIV/AIDS   

-often PWDs are even being taken advantage of sexually 

-Because PWDs want to feel loved and get love, PWDs engage in sexual activity to fulfill this need.

It is vital to include PWDs in sexual health and in our dialogue. The lack of information on sexual health and sexuality of PWDs is REALLY harming how other people see PWDs as well. This is what some abled bodied youth actually think about PWDs:

We need to make more of an effort to inform everyone and give them factual information. Ignorance is not bliss....

Hello everyone!

I hope this meets everyone well today....

For those who don't know me, my name is V.  I am a Latina with a physical disability (cerebral palsy) and non-heteronormative (I just like to say I am a sexual being or simply queer, although I hate labels). Talk about oppression olympics! 

Today I want to talk about ableism within the LGBTQ "community". It is sad to say but I see so much ableism in my LGBTQ community to the point that I have been denied access! Why you may ask? Alot of the establishments (i.e LGBTQ hang outs etc) are not wheelchair accessible or disability friendly! 

As a queer with a disability, this is a slap in the face. People are not acknowledging that they are being ableist and oppressing their own in their "community".  Frankly, I say community is quotation marks because I really don't feel like its a community, its a ableist hierarchy because, like most people, people within the LGBTQ community do not acknowledging their own ability status causing barriers for others who do not have the same ability - and people with disabilities are always the ones who are at risk of being denied.

I have brought this to the attention to my LGBTQ friends but I feel like it will be a long process to see change and see access...

We need to create more conscious building, more awareness of LGBTQ individuals who have disabilities, to acknowledge that we do exist and need to be included within the community!

We need to create disability friendly spaces and have access to other people who identify as LGBTQ.

Lastly, we need to all work on acknowledging our own ability status because this is the root of the oppression that is being caused within the LGBTQ community.

I hope that this blog will inspire action and awareness.