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Blog - Amplify your voice

Wednesday, November 10, 2010 at 3:11:00 PM EST

I don't know how many of you all watch Oprah; I don't watch her much myself, but I was drawn to watch when I heard Tyler Perry was going to be on. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to watch it, but that's what the internet is for right? First, I want to thank Tyler Perry and the 200 Men for sharing their stories with the world; it's takes a lot of courage to share the trauma they have endured. 

Tyler  has taken the opportunity to let others who have been molested and/or abuse, especially men, know that they are not alone. As a successful man, he certain illustrates that you can't judge a book by its cover. For those of you who didn't watch the interview, on Oprah Tyler Perry shares with the world that he experienced extreme physical abuse by his father and between the ages of 5 and 10 he was molested by 4 individuals (3 males & 1 woman). He describes how he tried to deal with the abuse by going to another place in his mind and struggled with his sexuality because he didn't understand why he had erection when he was molested. He says he felt his body betrayed him. I think this is an important issue Tyler brings up, men who are raped not reporting it because they think it makes them less than of a man or gay. 

When in a Women's and Gender's Course last year, we read the stories of men who had been molested by other men, and discussed why many men don't report being molested and  how confused they were because they ejaculated. Does this make them gay? Did they like it? In our society, we mix ejaculation with orgasm. Some molesters purposely make their victims ejaculate to make themselves feel the victim likes it, but ejaculating in these cases is a physiological reaction and not a psychological reaction of enjoying the act of being molested. During anal sex, the prostate is greatly stimulated and increases the occurrence of ejaculation. And so when molesters rape victims anally, and male victims ejaculate it is important for them to know that it doesn't men they liked and it doesn't make them gay. Another reason men don't report being raped is because in our society men are "supposed" to be able to protect themselves and not be vulnerable. Because of this, many people find it hard to believe men get raped. One testimony I read, a man reported being molested and the policemen laughed and said that was impossibly. Men are raped just like women;Being a man doesn't make you invincible.



"Oprah: Did [the molestations] leave you confused sexually?

Tyler: Yes, absolutely. How could it not? I knew I liked the little girls in the neighborhood, but this man was doing something to me and my body kept betraying me. It took me all of my 20s to figure out what this was that this man had given me to carry inside of my heterosexuality that did not belong to me. This is why so many men will not talk about this—the shame of having to admit that. And there is no textbook definition for what molestation does to someone. Each individual is different." (http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Tyler-Perry-Speaks-Out-About-Being-Molested-and-the-Aftermath/8)

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Comments
WOW!!! I did not see this episode until now, I only heard about it. It just brings chill bumps for me to watch. It is such a tragedy that they experienced this but a triumph that these men were able to share their stories for other individuals to see.

I completely agree with you Ryan, Men are not invincible to rape! It is disheartening that the police laughed at someone but I completely see how society forces a man to keep his emotions intact and remain strong at all times otherwise he is seen as weak.

I definitely have a different perspective now in knowing that men face the conflicts of their bodies reacting to whats happening to them. For Tyler Perry to say "....my body kept betraying me." Thats deep!! I can see how that would cause confusion in a ones mind.

And to think that my very best friend said...."Tyler Perry goes to the extreme (relating to the movie Precious), these things do not happen in real life."
Ridiculous!! Utter Insanity!!! It's unfortunate that people remain in denial and refuse to have an open dialog about things that are going on throughout the world such as molestation and rape. This episode will be an insight to many, whether they have been abused or not.

SN: I might have to record some of Oprah's episodes, she has been on point this season....Did you watch the episode of Men on the Down Low???? A YWOC tells her stroy of how she contracted the HIV virus from her husband. It ALSO has a man who addressed the issue of the DL years ago on Oprah's show and his OBSURD comments and what he has to say now...CHECK IT OUT!!!

TaiYWOC

# Posted By Tai*YwOcLc | 11/10/10 10:06 PM | Reply
@ TaiYWOC     I'm glad that you were able to learn something from this posting. I like that you brought up how people talked about Tyler for making Precious. This shows them that men do experience some of the same abuse and obstacles that women face. People are so quick to judge other people based on how they dress, act, or talk, but fail to think about where that person may have come from and experienced. That's what we need to focus on. Had Tyler never shared his story, we would never have known what he had to go through to get to where he is today.  And NOOO, I didn't see Oprah's episode on Men on the Down Low, I'm going to have to watch that. She (Oprah) is definitely going out with a bang.
# Posted By RyAnYWOC | 11/12/10 05:33 PM | Reply
Wow ryan! I saw this episode and I TOTALLY agree with you. It is absolutely devastating that these crimes happen to anybody in our society. I am so glad that Tyler Perry was able to talk about his abuse and be MAN enough to do it. He was fearless and he is really standing up for himself and those who have been abused. Thanks for this awesome article. And Taina- YES I SAW THAT EPISODE..... child...... goodness! That too was devastating and it's until we as a society can REALLY ACCEPT people for who they are- is when people won't have to hide behind these masks of being married or being heterosexual.
# Posted By vanessa_mysistahs | 11/12/10 10:17 AM | Reply
Thanks. I agree, it takes a REAL MAN to talk about his abuse and emotions. I'm sure he will continue to help a lot of other men and women. Wish everyone would watch this.
# Posted By RyAnYWOC | 11/12/10 05:39 PM | Reply
 Wow. Thank you SO much for writing about this. I actually went on Oprah.com and watched the full episode, which I definitely recommend. I'm so glad that she did a show about this issue, and I hope even more that it really was a healing opportunity for the 200 men in the audience, and the ones watching at home. 
# Posted By AFY_Samantha | 11/16/10 01:32 AM | Reply