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Dear E—
I am a twenty year old waitress and fine arts student. My boyfriend and I recently started having sex together. Prior to starting we talked about my getting the HPV vaccine. I know that I should but I’m afraid to ask my mom. She doesn’t think that I am having sex (She’d freak!). If I use my medical insurance to get the vaccine, she will know (She pays for the policy!). What should I do? I’ve heard the vaccine is expensive!
Signed,
Perplexed
Dear Perplexed:
You are a young woman of 20. At this point you and only you are responsible for your health. We’ve all been there. The anxiety of your parents finding out that their baby isn’t a baby anymore… I know I know, it’s cute, but let’s face facts…you’re not a baby anymore.
If your only concern is that your mom will find out that you’re having sex, my advice is to get over it just as she will (eventually) and take care of yourself. Use your insurance and get the vaccine. After all, getting it doesn’t automatically mean that you’re having sex. It just means that you’re taking responsibility for yourself just incase you do. If I was your mom I would be very proud that my daughter is so responsible...
On another more serious note, what concerns me is that it seems you and your mom haven’t established a very open parent-child communication. In any relationship good communication is imperative for its survival. Just as you’re being responsible for your physical health you should be responsible for your emotional health as well. Talk to your mom. Have a very open and honest conversation with her about what’s going on with you. She may at first be uncomfortable, but ultimately (ideally) she should embrace the idea of you wanting to have a positive and honest relationship with her (if that is your desire). For tips on initiating the conversation, visit the Advocates for Youth website Parent-child Communication section http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/parentchild.htm
If this all is causing you to have a massive migraine and you just can’t handle disclosing your sexual activity with your mom, you can always save up and pay for it your self…
Good luck and continue to take care of you,
E
Comments
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I agree. Get the vaccine and try to be open with your mom. She may surprise you!
# Posted By Mahayana
| 3/10/09 09:20 PM
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