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Hi E,
I'm writing because I hope you can help settle a bet between me and my best friend. She says that it's okay to forgive cheating in a relationship once (but not twice), and I say cheating is never ok. What do you think?
Signed,
No tolerance for the roving eye.
Dear No tolerance for the roving eye,
Hey, I’m with you on this one! My motto is if they cheated once, it’s just a matter of time before they do it again. From my experiences I’m a firm believer that you have to teach people how to treat you. The person who’s doing the cheating has been taught that cheating is an acceptable behavior. For example:
- Johnny cheats on Sally.
- Sally catches Johnny.
- Johnny gives Sally a very lame excuse about his actions (more times than naught this excuse will be a lie)
- Sally forgives Johnny.
- Johnny then wipes the sweat from his brow takes a deep breath and thinks, “Hey, that was easy”.
Thus the pattern continues… Now, if Sally would have been one of us in this situation, it would’ve went down a bit differently... For example:
- Johnny cheats on Sally.
- Sally catches Johnny.
- Johnny attempts to give Sally a lame excuse for his unscrupulous behavior (again, this more times than naught will be a lie)
- Sally cuts Johnny off mid excuse channeling her inner “Pink” with a rebuttal consisting of venom laced with all Johnny’s flaws and quirks that she’s been holding in making Johnny come to the realization that Sally is the prize in the relationship, concluding her speech with a firm “Go #*&! Yourself”!!
- Johnny then realizes that Sally was the best thing since sliced bread in his life and attempts to win Sally back, but Sally is too busy with the next Hottie to notice… HA!!
- Johnny then takes a blood oath by the Power of Greyskull to never cheat again… (Well, I’m reaching a bit here but you see where I’m going with this…)
If you make it easy for someone to mistreat you, they will continue to do so. I know someone is thinking I’m being a bit harsh, but when you think about it realistically it makes perfect sense. You can romanticize that whole “love will conquer all” bit, but ask yourself a question. “How do I treat the things in which I love and like”? Your favorite article of clothing, you make sure that you wash it on the perfect cycle or even take it to the cleaners to ensure its longevity in your life. Your laptop, your cell phone, your pet, I’m talking about things really mean a lot to you. You take care to ensure their safety. If someone loves you or even strongly likes you, they take special care not HURT you! But to each its own… Hey, some people like pain…
So to answer your question, I don’t believe anyone can really claim that they’ve won the bet (ah-chYOU) *I must be coming down with something*… It’s just one of those things that has to be personalized for each individual. It all depends on the amount of B.S. one is willing to endure to claim a significant other…
Peace You,
E
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by Anatic09
If they did not initiate it, don't let them blame it on the other person. It takes two to tango.
Good luck!