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Hey E,
First let me just say that my boyfriend and I are totally in love. We started dating about a year ago and things have been going well. The problems started when he obtained a job 3,000 miles away from where we live. He asked if I would go with him but I didn’t feel that packing up my life and leaving everything behind for a man who isn’t my husband was wise. He presented me a ring a couple of weeks after our conversation but I felt like it was rushed. We came up with a plan to continue our relationship long distance while I thought about the idea of moving out of state with him.
It’s been 4 months and things seemed to be going well. He flies me out to see him once sometimes twice a month and we are in constant communication. Once again he’s begun questioning me about moving with him. I finally came and told him that I didn’t think want to leave my life behind because I’ve just started getting my career going. He told me that he needed time to think about was our relationship worth the investment.
I’m totally pissed and this point I’m ready to walk away. He’s constantly questioning my love and commitment for him and my thinking is… he just wants out. What do you think?
Thanks,
Loving Me
Loving Me… I know that’s right! I always said everything great in life starts first with self-love. Well first things first, your feelings are valid. You should always make sure that your life is in order first before trailblazing across the good ol US of A to play house.
The problem here though is… he seems to really love and want you. You said you wanted a ring, he brought a ring; you wanted time, he gave you time. I don’t think that he necessarily wants an out, but everyone has their breaking point. At the end of the day we must all look out for own best interest.
I believe he’s feeling insecure about the relationship… maybe even frustrated. As women we fail to realize that men have feelings just as we do and sometimes they feel venerable about things. He’s done everything that you’ve requested without getting any of his wants and needs met.
No one is in the wrong here. I think it’s time that you two thought about where the relationship is going realistically. Although it would be extremely romantic if you’d run off and jump in to his arms and live happily ever after, in the real world this just isn’t the case. He’s already established his career, you’re just starting yours. I hate to say this but without both parties making a HUGE compromise the relationship is DOOMED! You have to be the judge of if it’s really worth it…
I think you both need to let one another off the hook and hopefully fate will bring you two back together when the time is right.
Keep loving yourself sweetie.
Peace,
E
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~Samantha