By L. Michael Gipson

So, I’m surfing through my friend’s posts on Facebook and come across a self-penned article posted by one of my heterosexual Black brothers, an uber-secure, gay-friendly and affirming heterosexual in the music biz. The kind of straight whose been hit on by gays, but still knows who he is and what he’s about, so he keeps it cute and respectful about the flattering attention, even as he appropriately declines gay advances. He’s the kind who sees me as his brother and not a tool for proving or measuring his masculinity.

So, I click the link excited, because literate, artsy, and knowledgeable about all things underground his blog is an artist’s sanctuary. In the piece, after complimenting an up and coming male artist, he feels compelled to write “no homo.” Astonished, I did something I rarely do: called him out on it publicly on FB. Apologetic, he said it was an inside joke between him and the artist. Owning his acquiescence to trend, however innocent, he recognized that his remark didn’t contribute to the healthy de-stigmatizing vibe we need between gays and straights, but moreover between straights and straights, he corrected the article and we were quickly made whole. But it got me to thinking: if even our allies feel encouraged to state their sexual proclivities after any same sex expression of affection, compliment, or heaven forbid, platonic same sex love, then what hope do the rest of them or us have?

Gay brothers, sisters, and allies it is time to liberate our heterosexual brothers and sisters (but mostly our brothers) in America from the shackles of shame and embarrassment. We must help them create the necessary space to be nurturing, giving and supportive of those of the same sex, without the specter of homosexual accusation haunting their every compliment and affirmation. They’re almost there, sitting cautiously in the middle waiting to be gingerly pulled out of the shadows all the way through to the other side, the side of freedom.  That’s what “no homo” is, a middle earth purgatory to liberation.

I know it’s hard to see and believe, but the “no homo” mantra really is something of an unspoken compromise from a people too long shackled by the tongue. It’s a way for hets to do what American culture had not allowed them to do before: be appreciative of people of the same sex, at least, not appreciative of those who didn’t have a ball or a microphone in their mitts. With “no homo” you can compliment a brother’s musculature or a woman’s appeal without respective charges of faggotry or daggerism. Before “no homo,” silence ruled, silence and eyes that spoke what the mouth could not.

There’s irony in that pot if you stir it. In America, the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and the advent of civically sanctioned same sex partnerships are on the horizon, but here you can’t compliment the cut of a man’s trousers or, increasingly for women, a sister’s shape without getting the suspicious side eye, that is unless you say “no homo.” But in nations throughout Africa, where men can and do hold hands, kiss on the mouth and hug with impunity, you can be jailed or be the victim of state-sanctioned murder under the suspicion of homosexuality. In its willingness to allow men to express platonic same sex affection even the stone-throwing people of Jamaica beats out Americans. Only contact sports in the U.S. privileges men with more same sex physical contact with affection and without suspicion. More and more are finding the same limitations on their expressiveness to other women be true, unless it’s for male amusement or arousal.

So, what’s to be done? How can we “give them free?” I say, let’s start a “no str8” movement to combat the silliness of the utilitarian “no homo.”  Since what is at the root of “no homo” is stigma, let language do its part to de-stigmatize the concern with being labeled queer. Using humor let us gay and straights together end every compliment to people of the opposite sex with “no str8.” So, when gay men and straight male allies say “Damn girl, you look good. No str8,” or lesbians and allied women say “Brother you are wearing that suit. No str8.” The utter ridiculousness of “no homo” can be revealed and hopefully, prayerfully, in that subsequent, collective laughter permission to bridge the road to platonic same sex expression throughout these lands can be forged. Heterosexual men and woman can know the joy of sharing exaltations and celebrate the value of one another without fear of condemnation and reprisal or presumptions of sexual intentions. That a misguided chapter of encouraged, implicit homoprejudice by even the best of our allies can come to an end too, well that’s just butter cream on this liberation cake. So, what do you say? You ready to join this win-win movement? Say it with me and let it ring: no str8! Ah, yes, there’s freedom’s song.