Ever since I was a little girl I always imagined what my life would be like when I grew up. I had the dreams of most little girls. I dreamt of the perfect marriage to the perfect husband and having 2 perfect little kids and living in the perfect house conveniently located in the perfect neighborhood with the perfectly perfect white picket fence. And with all of this perfection, happiness was guaranteed to follow. Well, the thing about dreams is that they don’t always come true. Somewhere along the road I lost sight of my dreams and gave up the idea of perfection. Where one time I was shooting for the moon, I suddenly found myself settling for the stars. And once I felt that the stars were also out of my reach, I began to just aim for the sky. Most little girls grow up as princesses with lives filled with fairytales and happy endings. But then, somewhere along the road, the dreams fade, the story comes to an end and the happy ending slowly fades away.  I too woke up from this fairytale dream and began facing reality- a reality that I am certain could have been avoided.

I look around at the life that I have and the things that I have accomplished. I look at the places that I had planned to go and the things that I had planned to do and there seems to be a shortcoming. The two lists just don’t seem to add up. And the most noticeable difference between the two is a little girl that stands about 3 ft, weighs 26 lbs, and is slowly approaching the dreaded age known as the “terrible twos”.  Don’t get me wrong I love my little girl, but there are those times that I can’t help but to wonder what if. What if I would have waited?, what if I wasn’t a mother?, what if this wouldn’t have happened to me?- a series of questions that will never truly be answered. But with each passing day, I catch a glimpse of the answers.  With each party that goes by, with each outfit that I pass up, and with each opportunity that passes me by I catch a glimpse of the life that I could have had. But then I see the smile on my little girl’s face, and hear her attempt to say “I love you”, and my heart melts, and I realize that I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sure I’ve given up my youth to raise my own youth, but I wouldn’t trade her for the world. And while this isn’t the dream or the plan that I had in mind, I am adjusting. The sky no longer is the limit and the moon is yet again within my reach. My dreams may be altered, but they certainly aren’t forgotten.  And the list of things that I had hoped to accomplish has not been destroyed but rather amended. You see, this isn’t the fairytale ending that I had planned for myself, and I am almost sure it isn’t the ending that any little girl dreams of, but sadly it has become the ending for too many. Too many girls are facing the reality that I face today, too many dreams have been shattered, and too many girls have been forced to settle. With each obstacle that I face and each struggle that I overcome, I develop a passion and a drive to make the number at least one less. One less teen that has to deal with hardships of motherhood, one less mother that has to find the balance between homework and spending time with her child, one less child that has to raise a child. My goal has simple become an attempt to make the number one less, and with this goal, comes the possibility of one more. One more little girl that is allowed to keep dreaming, one more little girl that can continue to be a princess, one more little girl allowed to have her “happily ever after”.