by Bianca Laureano

One of the things I learned early on in college was that the philosophers, professors, and activists I looked up to and admired had a lot of their own flaws they were working out. As I’ve evolved into a sexologists of Color, one of the few I might add, the skill I’ve had to develop and nurture the most is: finesse. You see, there are many sexologists, sex educators, researchers and therapists in the US that have done amazing work and continue to do so, however often their work excludes poor people, people of Color, immigrants, people with disabilities, and youth.

I remember when I realized I had to take Betty Dodson to task for a video she uploaded about a trip to Cuba. She and her working partner Carlin had described the “big Black horny Cuban men” in a way that was demeaning, perpetuated the “fear” of the White female tourist, condescending, and oversexualized men of Color, especially LatiNegr@s. I’m sure neither of them saw or read that piece I wrote. And honestly, if they did they probably wouldn’t have to do anything about it. You see that’s because they have that privilege to identify people of Color in another country in such ways without having to consider any backlash. My small attempt at calling them out on their ethnocentrism, racism, classism, elitism, and being just plain triflin’, I see as one part of the reason why I came to this field. We deserve to be a part of the conversations about us and our sexuality.

There are not enough of us, people of Color, people from oppressed and marginalized communities speaking out and to the “foremothers” and “forefathers.” I remember being in a training and the White female trainer talking about how we can use the Kinsey scale to describe the behaviors of men who have sex with men (MSM). This trainer put adult MSM of Color at the same level as adolescents. I shared that from my perspective this was infantilizing adult men of Color, something that our society already does and that I’m not going to perpetuate that or what she suggested and use the scale in such a way. She was not prepared for me to challenge her in such an astute and intelligent way. Her response was that she “doesn’t think the scale was created for that intent.” Well duh, there were not many people of Color Kinsey even interviewed! After she came up to me and wanted to “make sure I was ok.” As if my speaking out and challenging what she said automatically made me someone who needed care of some sort, apparently questioning a White woman providing a training means you are not feeling well.

I share these with you because there was no one that shared them with me. When I attending the World Association of Sexology (now called World Association of Sexual Health) Congress in Cuba in 2003, it was my first time seeing sexologist and sex researchers disagree with one another in a way that was not only intelligent, but passionate, and right! We don’t really see that here in the US. It is such a binary here; you are for or against abortion, sexuality education, or birth control. Yet those are some complicated topics! Today, I’m going to deconstruct a piece of writing from a sex therapist I admire and respect very much, but whose latest article may have done more harm than anything else.

Dr. Marty Klein has been in the sexuality field for decades. I read his last book America’s War On Sex and really supported his ideas and writing on the topics. I’m also a big supporter of his approach and ideas about “sex addiction.”  He gets it….usually.

When I went to visit his blog recently I found this article: “Speaking As Janet Jackson’s Nipple”and I almost lost my mind. My eyes almost rolled out of my head just by reading the title. When I finished reading the article I posted it on a few social media sites asking “can a White man speak from this perspective?” A handful of my friends and colleagues responded.

First to respond was my good friend Denise Rodriguez. Denise is considering becoming one of the handful of Chicana sexologists in the US, and she shared:

“I don't know how I feel about a White man talking as a Black woman's nipple. It bothers me.”

It bothered me too, and honestly it still does! I needed a few days to think more about what exactly bothered me about this piece. As I took this time my Jew Jerome wrote:

“I just read this. I was sort of with him for some of it, but he lost me with the "better lighting" comment at the end. Somehow, ending the essay by further objectifying Janet's body (he does it throughout, but this is the clearest example) seems inappropriate. I also don't like the idea of the bodies of women of color as public property to be commented on.”

And that’s why Jerome is my jew! He gets it and isn’t afraid to let others know or call other White men on their stuff. Another sexologist of Color whom I adore is Mariotta Gary-Smith, a graduate of 2009 of the CESH Scholars Program. She shared with me her impression of the article by saying:

This is some hot mess. There may have been an intent to create discussion here. He may have wanted to point out some of the issues of the commercials that were run during halftime, but instead this whole post came off badly to me. Very self centered, and disrespectful...it didn't make me appreciate his perspective nor his intent because of his delivery. And the point of him wanting more light on JJ's nipple? That rubbed me wrong. And again, it's another (white) male comment on the body of a woman of color. So, he gets the DISLIKE from me.

The question “can a White man speak from this perspective?” was my initial question. But after thinking about it a little more my answer would be yes, but in a very specific way. Here’s the deal: if you are willing and able to pull from the years of fear, hatred, mockery, abuse, and violence of Black women’s sexuality and include that in an analysis such as this, one that might be called an intersectional analysis, then yes, I think someone could speak from such a perspective. However, I don’t see that happening in this piece. I also don’t see an attempt to encourage women of Color to speak for themselves in this piece. Instead I see the objectification of a Black women’s body in the US continuing.

There was so many opportunities for Dr. Klein to recognize and show the glaring similarities to what happened at the Super Bowl 2004 with what continues to happen to Black women’s bodies. His first full paragraph about the effects of Janet Jackson’s nipple is loaded. He writes it was thought to “ruin” the game, the “punishing” of CBS, “congressmembers competed to see who could denounce me the loudest,” and being “trashed” during 2004 presidential elections. These words are often used when discussing the sexuality and sexual health of women of Color in this country and all over the world. Ruin, punishment, denunciation. This continues today. The exclusion of this reality is problematic. As my homegirl Sylvia Peay  said “the last thing needed to debunk CBS and its arbitrary decisions on what commercials to air was fragmenting a black woman's body to take them to task on it. Especially a white man playing on the exotic to anthropomorphize Janet Jackson's nipple; it kills his point to present his argument that way.”

The commentary about this being the most downloaded clip and that connection to protection and glancing at a Black woman’s body, is in one word: troubling. Has Dr. Klein chosen to forget that communal consumption of Black women’s bodies in the US has a long history from the auction block to the strange fruit Ella sings about? This new form of consuming a Black woman’s body is, to me, a new form of colonization, or “conquest” as Sylvia said.

I do appreciate Dr. Klein’s commentary about moving on and how Janet’s nipple continues to entertain chosen partners in private. This normalizes, instead of eroticizes and fetishizes the sexuality of Black women. It speaks to consent being given, choice, and agency. He got that part right. I also appreciated his challenging the difficulty of discussing Black women’s sexuality with abortion and affection/love among same gender couples. I did not read this as him comparing the three; instead I read this as him recognizing the complexity of them all. Unfortunately, that was not teased out enough.

Instead it was very much as Sylvia described: “he used her body and the fallout over her body as a device not as an event that actually happened to someone….using the bodies of women of color to attack an institution…” we both agreed is a violation. We also both agreed it may be in his best interest to read An Open Letter to Mary Daly by Audre Lorde.

Our bodies do have power, and this is something I’d love to see young women of Color embrace, recognize and use appropriately. What do you readers think about this piece?

As I started to figure out how to end this piece, Sylvia said to me “I keep imagining some old white dude squeezing Janet's breast and mouthing words like a ventriloquist and it’s creepy.” Creepy indeed! Yet, I recognize that one of the reasons I can even speak from this space is because he has produced, and continues to produce, such work that is uncomfortable, difficult to read, and important to have. Yet, it is incomplete work, in my opinion. And I want to thank him for beginning this work so that I and many other women of Color sexologist can have a hand in completing it.

As Audre Lorde ended her Open Letter to Mary Daly, I’ll end this to Dr. Klein:

In repayment,
Bianca

Suggested Readings

Killing the Black Body: Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty by Dorothy Roberts http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780679758693

Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender, and the New Racism by Patricia Hill Collins http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780415951500

Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780802150844

Women, Race & Class by Angela Davis http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780394713519

The Color of Violence: The Incite! Anthology by Incite! Women of Color Against Violence http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780896087620

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde http://www.indiebound.org/book/9781580911863

The Color of Privilege by Aida Hurtado http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780472065318