For Mother’s Day, I decided to interview my mom and share her answers with the Amplify community. I was very glad that she agreed to do this. Part one focused on her experience as a mother. Now, part two will cover other topics that are often written about here on Amplify.

1) How do you find where to draw the line between guiding your child’s actions and letting them make mistakes?
Dependant on the situation, I feel neglecting to draw the line and knowingly letting a young child make a mistake is bad parenting. I feel the difference between drawing the line and letting your child make a mistake should be apparent in the pre-teen and teenage years. The guidelines I use in making that decision are safety factors, moral issues, and house rules. At this age, the big issues you step in, and the small issues you back off.

 2) How do you think a parent can instill a positive body image for their children?
A positive body image is something we all deal with at some point in our lives. Parents can help foster positive body image by steering away from all critical comments. A child’s interpretation of a critical comment, even not directed toward body image, can easily become just that to them. Complementing your child on what they have chosen to wear, mentioning a particular color is flattering on them, telling them the way they did their hair looks good today is so beneficial to body image. Don’t go overboard though; otherwise your child may not believe your comment is genuine.

3) What do you want your children to know about healthy relationships, whether they be friendships or romantic?
A healthy relationship is a two-way street. If you give and do not receive or vice versa in any aspect of the relationship, the cornerstone is compromised. If the cornerstone is not stabilized, the relationship will surely turn unhealthy. My advice- be aware a relationship is a two-way street.

4) At what age do you think parents should start talking to their kids about sex?
I think that parents should answer in an age-appropriate way, any question about sex that a child asks. When having “the sex talk” with a child, I think it is a good idea to have the talk just before the school starts teaching sex education, which generally is around the 4th grade.

5) Were you nervous about having “the sex talk” with your kids? Looking back, would you have done it differently?
I was not nervous about having “the sex talk” with my children. I believe it is a necessary conversation between parent and child that fosters open communication. Looking back, I don’t believe I would have done it differently.

6) Why do you think comprehensive sex education is important?
Unlike it is today, when I was younger, comprehensive sex education was not part of the program in grammar school and only minimal information was given in high school. I think the change to begin teaching sex education starting in the fourth grade is a valuable part of the education process. Children are much more prepared today for understanding the changes that happen to their bodies and since they receive reliable sex information they are able to make better educated decisions regarding sex.

7) What characteristics would you like your children to look for in a significant other?
Characteristics to look for in a partner are: do they make you feel good about yourself, do they have focus, and do you see they have potential.

8) How do you think that social acceptance of interracial relationships has changed since you were a teenager?
I think the acceptance of interracial relationships has changed greatly since I was a teenager. At that time, it was totally unacceptable to even consider introducing a boy of another race to your parents even as a new friend. If you saw an interracial couple, the common thought was: what is wrong with him/her? Was there something about them that made them that made them unattractive to someone of their own race that they had to choose this other person? Today, I feel it’s refreshing to see an interracial couple. I think it takes a special person to look prejudice in the eye and know that their love for each other will sustain them.

9) What would you want your children to consider when deciding to have sex?
I would like my children to responsibly consider their choice in deciding to have sex. Do they really want to have sex with this person, and have they taken the precautions necessary to protect themselves as well as their partner from disease and pregnancy.

10) What can parents do to help prevent unintended teenage pregnancy?
A previous establishment of open communication is one of the most beneficial things you can give your child to help them as they navigate the world. If an older child feels comfortable talking to you, they will surely ask sex related questions. The best way to guide a teenager is through communication. Answer their question, but also listen to how they ask the question. Take a moment to think beyond the question, and ask a few yourself. There is no way a parent can prevent their teenager from an unintended pregnancy. What they can do is communicate to them in a respectful manner your expectations. In the end, whatever happens, happens. If you become faced with your child having an unintended pregnancy, your child already knows they made a mistake. Don’t as a parent also make a mistake by not letting them know you love them no matter what.

11) What would you want your children to consider when deciding to be parents?
In deciding to be parents I would want my children to consider their relationship with their spouse. Raising a child should be a two parent job. If their spouse is reluctant to have children because they are unsure if they want the commitment, they should be aware having a baby won’t necessarily make their spouse come around or deepen their relationship. I would advise not to have a child if they know they don’t have a solid relationship.

12) How do you define feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist? Why or why not?
I believe feminism is the belief that all women were created equal to men. I believe being a feminist includes this belief along with action to support it. An activist I am not, but I will take action in any affair if spurred.

13) Having a daughter who is an activist for equal rights for LGBTQ  people and a daughter who has had several gay friends, how do you feel your views on gay and lesbian people have changed over time?
I have never had prejudice views. Having one daughter who is an activist for LGBTQ rights and another who has several gay friends has made me more aware of the inequality these people are faced with. And it’s an outrage that discrimination on this level can lead to violence. I applaud my daughters involvement as an advocate. I believe legal rights should not be denied to anyone. Although I do believe religious rights should stand as they are.

Thanks again, Mom, for being willing to share your answers!! <3

~ Samantha