I’m sure you’ve heard about this by now, but as it turns out, Constance McMillen was punked by her high school (Itawamba Agricultural High School in Mississippi).
The “prom” she and her girlfriend attended included just seven other duped students. As for the “real” prom that a judge ruled she must be allowed to attend, it was held in secret at a separate location, planned and paid for by the parents of those attending.

Basically, these people went out of their way to ruin Constance’s prom. Apparently, these people were so homophobic that they couldn’t stand to dance in the same room as a lesbian couple. They should be deeply ashamed of themselves, but I bet they’re not. Obviously, none of them felt guilty enough to let Constance in on the secret.

I have a lot of questions. How can any of the students at the secret prom consider themselves Constance’s friends after allowing the school to play this joke on her? How can they consider themselves decent people? How can the students who don’t consider themselves homophobic, still claim that that’s true after allowing their lesbian classmate to miss the real prom?

Why did NO ONE tell her the truth? How is it that no one felt bad enough about this cruel joke to tell her the truth? They allowed her to be laughed at from a distance because she’s a lesbian who wanted to be treated like everyone else. She wanted to be included in her school’s prom, but because she wanted to experience that with her girlfriend, they shunned her.

These students and their parents and the school administrators did a despicable thing. Each and every one of them owe Constance a huge apology. But will any of them actually apologize? Will any of them even feel they owe her an apology? The Facebook page “Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom” has over 425,000 fans. Do you think any of those people go to Constance’s school? Do you think any of them live in her town? Constance has supporters all over the country. So why doesn’t she have any supporters in her own school? This is sad.

And yet, Constance continues to handle the situation with grace. She hasn’t lashed out at her classmates or at the school. 

 "I just want the negativity to stop because I try to be respectful and positive”

When Constance appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show last month, she was presented with a $30,000 scholarship for college. I hope that this amazing young woman takes full advantage of the opportunities of higher education and utilizes the power that she is learning that she has in order to continue and expand her advocacy work for equal rights.

But, as proud as I am of Constance McMillen, I am even more disappointed in her school. Believe it or not, (though I’m sure at this point it’s very believable) Itawamba’s deplorable behavior toward LGBTQ students does not end with Constance.

In January, Itawamba Agricultural High School suspended Juin Baize, a transgender student, without any formal explanation, after his first day of attending the school.

As reported by Dan Savage at The Stranger:

 Baize, his mother, and his two sisters moved to Fulton, Mississippi, from New  Harmony, Indiana, to live with Baize's grandmother at the beginning of the year.
 …
 “They said he was causing a distraction with what he was wearing but it was a  half day of school and people didn’t have time to get used to him."

 The other students wouldn't be given a chance to get used to him: the next time  Baize came to school, according Kristy Bennett, legal director of the ACLU of  Mississippi, Baize was given a suspension notice and sent home. When Juin  returned to school after his first suspension, he was suspended again.

 “Juin’s case was a situation where a transgender student wanted to attend school  dressed in feminine clothing," said Bennett, "and the school district would not  even let him attend school."

 The reasons for a student's suspension are supposed to be noted on the suspension  form, according to Bennett, but that part of Baize's suspension notice was left  blank.

What the f*ck, Itawamba?

 Baize's suspension was written about in the local paper in February—which  prompted Baize's grandmother to order her daughter and her three grandchildren  to move out of her house.
 …
 Things reached a crisis stage over the weekend when the friends-of-friends who  had been putting up Bertsinger and her three children told her that Juin would  have to leave. Bertsinger called some old friends who live in Pensacola, Florida,  and asked if they would take Juin in. Her friends drove to Fulton the same night to  pick Juin up. Bertsinger is granting temporary guardianship of her son to her  friends until, she says, she can find a job and save enough money to move to  Florida with her other two children.

There is a silver lining though, folks. Her name is Beverly Bertsinger, but Juin just calls her Mom.

 “If I had the money, I would move the kids somewhere else, somewhere they  would be safe,” Bertsinger told me. “I wish we could move somewhere for my  son, somewhere a transgender teenager would be safe. I worry about him  constantly.”
 …
 “I’m so afraid for him,” Bertsinger told me last week. “I support him. I buy him  the clothing to wear as a female. I just want him to be safe.”

Thank goodness his mother supports him, at least!

There are transgender students like Juin Baize all across the country. There are lesbian students like Constance McMillen all across the country. What are schools doing for these students? Itawamba Agricultural High School is not respecting these students. Any school’s number one goal is education. Itawamba refused to even attempt to educate Juin Baize. They suspended him after one day because he is transgender. That would not have happened if Juin wore traditionally male clothing rather than traditional female clothing.
 
This is why organizations like GLSEN are so necessary. Here is part of their mission statement:

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network strives to assure that each  member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual  orientation or gender identity/expression.

 We believe that such an atmosphere engenders a positive sense of self, which is  the basis of educational achievement and personal growth. Since homophobia and  heterosexism undermine a healthy school climate, we work to educate teachers,  students and the public at large about the damaging effects these forces have on  youth and adults alike.

That is EXACTLY what Itawamba needs. Think what a difference it would make if they utilized these resources. Think how immensely beneficial it would be for LGBTQ and straight students if the school had a GSA (gay/straight alliance) group. If students actually talked about their differences. If Constance had the opportunity to explain to her classmates why it was so important to her to be allowed to attend prom with her girlfriend. If Juin had the opportunity to explain to his classmates why he feels more comfortable in female clothing rather than male clothing. If straight students were able to ask questions and learn about things they don’t yet fully understand. If the school had been willing and able to encourage and facilitate those discussions. GLSEN works every day to make these things happen. So can you.

~ Samantha