PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays) is a national, non-profit organization  that “advocates for the ex-gay community.” They believe that “ex-gays” have been severely discriminated against because of “heterophobia” They think that the “ex-gay” orientation should be taught in schools. They say that they accept all people for who they are, but that they offer support for people with “unwanted same-sex attractions.”

While I agree that all people should be treated with respect, I believe that the anger surrounding the “ex-gay” movement is not about the “ex-gays” themselves, (as PFOX claims when they talk about discrimination) but rather the culture and community that is causing LGBTQ people to feel that who they are isn’t ok and to want to change in the first place. Maybe there are some gay and lesbian people who really do wish that they were straight, but why do they feel that way? Couldn’t it be that the very same people (like PFOX) who offer to help them change, are the same people who made them feel so bad about who they are that they felt that their only option for happiness was to conform to the heteronormative outline of a happy and fulfilled person?

Below are the summaries of selected articles from the PFOX website, in their Equal Rights section. After each summary, I’ve written the “translation.” This means that after reading the article, I’ve written what I believe was between the lines. While the logic in some of these articles was quite hard to follow, some were abruptly direct and required little translation.

After reading these summaries and what I thought they were really saying, think about this: Do these articles sound like those supported by an organization which claims to care about people as they are? Do you really think that the people writing these and/or promoting these articles on their website, are truly committed to equal rights for all and are really interested in making gay people happy?

1) The Boy Scouts excluding gays is okay because they “should be free to decide whom they want as adult leaders and what moral messages they want to communicate.”

Translation: It is inappropriate for gay men to be around young boys. They might try to make the boys gay with their influence, which is a bad thing.

2) Whenever your school, workplace, or government agency holds a gay pride/diversity/tolerance event, you should ask them to include an ex-gay speaker or to also hold an ex-gay event.
Written by: Arthur Goldberg of JONAH (Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality)

Translation: This is not about increasing equality or diversity. This is about attempting to influence LGBTQ people about the benefits of being ex-gay/heterosexual. Trying to change people is not congruent with promoting LGBTQ pride and tolerance.

Explanation: People are either homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual. LGBTQ people have and need pride/diversity/tolerance events because they are a poorly treated minority. Heterosexuals do not need pride/diversity/tolerance events. Saying you are ex-gay means that you are saying that you are now heterosexual. Therefore, why should your sexual orientation be  included in an LGBTQ event?

3) An Ex-Gay Declaration of Independence, put together by a group of 8 organizations, including PFOX, calling themselves PATH (Positive Alternatives to Homosexuality). It basically says that they don’t want to “impose their viewpoint” on anyone, they just want to help people, and they want the social platform to do so.

Translation: This is a way of making us look official. Beneath all that, all we’re about is de-gaying people.

4) A list of reasons why people become ex-gays, mainly revolving around the ideas that there are more social benefits for heterosexuals and being gay invites discrimination.

Translation: Being gay sucks. There are no positives. It’s much better to be heterosexual.

5) Ex-gays and ex-gay organizations should be included in hate crimes legislation because it is unfair to protect gay people but not ex-gay people.

Translation: Heterosexuals do not need hate crime legislation to protect them based on their sexual orientation. Ex-gays are not really heterosexual. Everyone knows this, but we don’t want to admit it. Since they’re not fully heterosexual, they still need protection.

6) After Prop 8 passed, gay people were very angry and some made violent threats against certain religious institutions.

Translation: Why are we even pretending to be nice to gay people? Look at what they said when we took their civil rights away.

7) White gay people should not criticize ex-gay African Americans because likening the gay rights movement to the black rights movement and then turning against ex-gay black people isn’t cool, especially when the African American community has such strong support for ex-gays.

Translation: Black people were and gay people are denied civil rights. Gay people helped black people earn their civil rights. Now, gay people want black people to help them earn their civil rights. It would be wrong for African Americans to return the favor. No one should help gay people, especially the African American community, because gay people hate ex-gay African Americans, while African Americans love ex-gay African Americans. Conflict of interest, people. Also, black people are not gay.

8) Ex-gay groups are discriminated against unfairly because people refuse to hear their message before they judge.
Written by: Dr. Bill Maier, a child and family psychologist and serves as vice president and psychologist-in-residence at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs

Translation: Even though we’re telling you that who you are is wrong, if you don’t listen to us, you’re a jerk.

9) Homosexuality is the result of shame, caused by poor self-esteem. Gay men have a love/hate relationships with masculinity. They are both afraid of straight men for their masculinity, and attracted to them because they want their acceptance. Their need for acceptance from other men leads to lustful feelings for these men. Resistance in fixing the “developmental arrest” that is homosexuality is caused by being close-minded.
From: People Can Change

Translation: No one is born gay. Homosexuality is a mental disorder. It is a serious problem. Any man who realizes he has same-sex attractions needs to get help in order to become a real man again.

10) Gay activism is embarrassing and a waste of time. Homosexuals will never be fully accepted in society. Gay Pride is “vulgar.” When gay people protest against discrimination, they are actually inviting it. Children need to be kept from learning about homosexuality for as long as possible. Homosexuals who want to raise children will have to give up that dream.

Translation: Actually, this one was extremely straight forward.

11) It is offensive to black people when gay people say that the gay rights movement is the new civil rights movement. If only Christians has fought back harder earlier, we wouldn’t have this problem.

Translation: Gay people are trying to make their sexual deviance look legitimate by calling what they’re doing a civil rights movement. Interracial marriage and gay marriage are completely different issues because some black people, who were once considered only 3/5 of a person, think that gay people are even less. People of god will fight against this injustice of “non-persons” trying to be like everyone else.

12) Commissioner Patty Sheehan equated Exodus International to the Ku Klux Klan. This is doubly offensive because some of the members of Exodus International are African Americans. Making these public statements is an abuse of her power as a Commissioner. Exodus is not like the KKK because they believe that while homosexuality is a sin, people have the “freedom of choice” and Exodus is offering them an alternative choice. The reason Sheehan hates Exodus is because their ideas differ from her own. Sheehan refuses to put the rights of the thousands who attend and support the conference and the organization above the smaller homosexual community.

Translation: The KKK hated black people because they were black. Any time someone equates us with the KKK, we assume it’s a racial issue. Gosh, this Sheehan lady is dumb. There are black people in Exodus. How could we possibly be anything like an organization that didn’t accept differences in people that they couldn’t/needn’t change? Speaking out against intolerance is an abuse of power. And how can you call us intolerant when all we want to do is help the poor, lost gay people become better, and by better we mean heterosexual because homosexual just isn’t as good. Clearly, there’s a right and wrong choice. Anyone who believes that gay people are normal and publicizes their beliefs is hating on us because we believe that gay people aren’t normal. The majority rules, even when the majority wants to fundamentally change the minority.

13) Black people’s civil rights will be compromised if gay people have equal civil rights. If gay people can have civil unions, black people will  have to have them too. Gay people are training children, judges, and lawyers to see that gay people are as normal as straight people and that they deserve the same rights. Gay kids don’t deserve the same kind of protections in schools that black kids got when schools became integrated in the 1960s. Telling kids  in their health classes that some people are homosexual is equivalent to teaching them about gay sex. This kind of thing will eventually be taught to kindergarten students. Gay rights is Communism. Teaching children to accept gay people will rob them of their innocence. Being gay is a choice, so it is incomparable to race. Giving gay people rights will strip me of my religious beliefs. I am not homophobic because I took care of my brother-in-law when he was dying of AIDS. We can’t believe what we hear on TV because the media is part of the gay agenda. There is always a hidden agenda.

Translation: Just a few points, as this was also very straightforward: Gay and black are unrelated. This means that there are no gay black people. The gay agenda brain-washes people into fighting for their immoral choices. I can’t possibly be homophobic because I know a gay person and I helped them while they were dying.

14) Schools are discriminating against “ex-gays” when they do not include “ex-gays” in their teachings about sexuality and sexual orientation.

Translation: We are giving ourselves away, here. We say that “ex-gays” are now heterosexual. Yet why, you ask, would we then need them represented separately from the other heterosexual orientation classification? Because we know that they’re not really heterosexual now. They’ve just repressed their homosexuality.

15) “GLB youth who self-identify during high school report disproportionate risk for a variety of health risk and problem behaviors, including suicide, victimization, sexual risk behaviors, and multiple substance abuse use. In addition, these youth are more likely to report engaging in multiple risk behaviors and initiating risk behaviors at an earlier age than their peers.”

Translation: Being gay will kill you.

16) There is a transsexual double standard because they are encouraged to change to become who they are, while “ex-gays” are discouraged from changing.

Translation: If transgender people can physically change their bodies so that the outside matches the inside to become more truly who they are, what’s wrong with “ex-gays” attempting to change their insides to deny who they are?

So now I’ll ask again: Do these articles sound like those supported by an organization which claims to care about people as they are? Do you really think that the people writing these and/or promoting these articles on their website, are truly committed to equal rights for all and are really interested in making gay people happy?

I don’t thinks so.

Putting together this blog entry was my toughest one yet. PFOX’s bigotry disgusts me, especially because they try to do it with a smile. Going through these articles took a long time, because I just couldn’t physically or mentally stand to read them for long periods. Yet, I will continue to blog about PFOX because they need to be exposed. They claim to be inclusive, but after reading these articles, their true stance on homosexuality is abundantly clear. 

To read more about PFOX now, you can check out the blog I wrote last week about Peter Sprigg, PFOX’s nominee for the Award for Distinguished Service to Public Education in Montogmery County, Maryland.

~Samantha