I’m 23 years old, and I’ve learned some things: A guy will not like you just because you want him to. He won’t be Mr. Right just because that’s how you picture him in your head. The qualities a man has in a dream/day dream/fantasy are not necessarily the qualities he has in real life. Only one guy can be “the one,” so while it may be optimistic to think that each new guy you like could be  “the one,” it’s also a little presumptive.

Which brings me to my point: There are all different kinds of relationships- not every one has to be a fairy tale romance to be worth anything. I’m not saying that you should lower your standards or allow yourself to be treated poorly, but keep an open mind. Have fun. Feel good, emotionally and physically. Have a “non-relationship.” Explore the idea of “friends with benefits.” Do what you’re comfortable with, with the person you’re comfortable doing those things with. Go on a “non-date.” Spend time with someone whose company you enjoy and don’t make it more than it is- a good time. Make out with a friend.  Be safe. Enjoy yourself.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in someone who’s just not interested in you in that way. We build up our expectations only to be let down and disappointed. Why?


 

Maybe I’m asking a lot. Maybe I’m not so good at taking my own advice and learning my lesson. Maybe, as good of an idea as it may be, not developing feelings for someone is just too much to ask of myself or of anyone else.

But, it’s worth thinking about and it’s worth trying.

I think, when meeting someone new, it’s easy to let your imagination run wild, and then expectations get unrealistic, and then you’re upset when it doesn’t work out the way you wanted it to. But if you just relaxed from the beginning, saw the situation for what it really was, and just enjoyed yourself in the company of a new, interesting person, you’d be better off.

That’s what I think, anyway. That’s where I’m at right now. 
 
~ Samantha