There’s a lot to be confused about in this world, but there’s one thing needs to be cleared up right now, and that’s the notion that anyone who is pro-choice or pro-abortion doesn’t “have a heart.”

That is a ridiculous and patently false idea which is perpetuated for the purpose of guilting women into disregarding their own intelligence.

Everyone wants to show that they “have a heart” and are considered nice, loving people. It is cruel, then, to assert that any woman who makes the choice to not have a baby is “heartless.” Choosing to not have a baby doesn’t make you heartless. Being capable of assessing your situation, your wants, needs, desires, goals, abilities, circumstances, readiness, and willingness to have a baby doesn’t make you heartless- it makes you an intelligent, capable, responsible woman. And when, as an intelligent, capable, responsible woman you decide to have a baby, then that’s what you’ll do. But why would you have a baby when you don’t want to have one? Why be pregnant when you don’t want to be pregnant? Why allow strangers to decide what happens to your body and when?

It’s 2009 people, and guess what- it’s not a crime if a woman doesn’t want to be or isn’t ready to be a mother. A woman is allowed to make her own choices. A woman is allowed to have a career. She can do things for no other reason but that she wants to. She doesn’t have to get every action approved by a man before she does it. Any woman who is denied these rights is being treated as a second-class citizen. She is being stripped of her freedom and independence and is being told that she is incapable of making decisions on her own.

Denying women rights, and thereby insulting their intelligence, is what is heartless. And extremely sexist.

I am pro-choice and pro-abortion and I will never make apologies for that. I will never feel sorry for believing in women’s ability to decide when to have a baby. There is warmth and love in my heart, and I will not be told that there isn’t by someone who thinks I’m incapable of knowing when I’m ready to be a mother. I will not let others make me doubt myself. I will not allow strangers to have more say about what goes on in my uterus than I do.

As I’ve said before, I look forward to the day when I’m a mom. I imagine it will be an amazing experience. But that day isn’t today. And it’s not within the next year. Or two years. Or three. I want to be a good, responsible mother, and I know that that’s not something I am capable of or willing to be right now. It’s not that I am a bad or irresponsible person, but I am in no way ready for raising a child. And that’s not a bad thing. That’s not a crime. It’s just my circumstances, my reality, my honest truth. It would be stupid of me, then, if I got pregnant tomorrow, to choose to have a baby. That wouldn’t make any sense.

Knowing what I do and believing what I believe does not make me heartless. Far from it. So please, stop saying that I am.