I talked to my brother last night about me being involved on his school health advisory committee. Since he still goes to high school there, I figured it would only be fair that he be asked. And I asked him about his high school health class, that was mandatory to graduate. He took it last spring, so it's been about a year, and I recall it as kind of a blow off elective, but seeing as that was 8 years ago, maybe things have changed. They haven't (surprise). He recalls abstinence, learning that there are STDs (STI was a foreign term) , and seeing gruesome pictures. We talked about it a little, and then watched the Simpsons. And he's okay with me pushing the school board.

Here is the official school board policy of my district's sexual education program:

The Board shall select any instruction relating to human sexuality,
sexually transmitted diseases, or human immunodeficiency virus
(HIV) or acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) with the advice
of the local school health advisory council. The instruction
must:

1. Present abstinence as the preferred choice of behavior for
unmarried persons of school age;

2. Devote more attention to abstinence than to any other behavior;

3. Emphasize that abstinence is the only method that is 100
percent effective in preventing pregnancy, sexually transmitted
diseases, infection with HIV or AIDS, and the emotional
trauma associated with adolescent sexual activity;

4. Direct adolescents to a standard of behavior in which abstinence
before marriage is the most effective way to prevent
pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and infection with
HIV or AIDS; and

5. Teach contraception and condom use in terms of human use
reality rates instead of theoretical laboratory rates, if instruction
on contraception and condoms is included in the curriculum.

And this is the 8th-12th grade family and social health curriculum:

The fact that abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy, and STD’s is mentioned on a consistent basis throughout the Family and Social Health Unit as well as the Communicable Disease Unit. Prevention strategies are focused on abstinence. Barrier protection and other contraceptive methods are not discussed in detail other than the fact that pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases can still occur with their use.

I've got no problem with promoting abstinence. I think abstinence is great for teenagers, for a lot of reasons. It is the best way to prevent pregnancy. It is a great way to make heartbreak hurt a lot less. Although they don't regret losing their virginity, I know a lot of people who had sex back then wish they had waited. I know some that were totally ready. As a Christian, I do believe that sex is best inside of marriage. While Christian history has a pretty hostile attitude at points towards the sexual, Song of Solomon is beautiful in its description of physical intimacy. But there is a cult of virginity in the Christian church, especially for women that is unhealthy. But why does God want us to wait? Honestly, it's about consequences. I believe in a loving God who does want the best for all of mankind. And sex after a communal commitment and relationship is the best way to save a lot of heartbreak and salvage a lot of dreams.

But that's not always how life works. And I refuse to believe that God is so punitive that if someone decides they're ready for sex before marriage, what he really wants is to punish them and make the consequences as terrible as possible. We don't tell kids if they're going to speed they may as well start texting and take off their seat belts at the same time. Why do we say that about sex?

We knew nothing about condoms in sex ed. We knew things like it would help make you not pregnant, but no more than "pulling out". We knew it didn't really protect from STIs. We thought you could get pregnant from a hot tub. We thought "double bagging it" would be more effective, not less.

I had pregnant friends in high school. Some friends did not stay pregnant (miscarriage, abortion), some friends had children. And of those that had children, none will finish college on time. It took one mother an extra year to graduate high school, and she is the only one now pushing through college. She is divorced, living at home with her parents, with a kindergartener and is 23. She is a great parent, and a brilliant student. But her life is exponentially harder than mine for having a child. And pregnancy wasn't easy. Our school and our community failed our teenagers when we decided they didn't deserve medically accurate information.

When I was talking to my brother last night, one of the things that struck me is that educators are telling kids they simply don't deserve to know the truth because we don't trust them to act in their own best interests. That's what parents are telling them, that's what society is telling them. It's not alright. I do not believe by telling kids that a condom will help prevent pregnancy, they will be more likely to have sex. I don't even need to say I think that, the facts say abstinence only education is not keeping our youth abstinent or safe.