Since graduating from high school last month, one thing has dominated my mind: college.  It’s been a struggle lately to write blogs and drag my mind away from roommates, classes, and dorm supplies in favor of sexual health and reproductive rights issues.  So I came up with a perfect solution: a blog about sexual health questions that might help me, my friends, and all of the awesome Amplify readers, prepare for college!

As I said, I haven’t started college yet, so I don’t really know all of the things that might come up, and my answers might not be ideal.  This isn’t meant as a comprehensive guide, so for all you college students or graduates please comment and leave your own input or suggestions.

Here we go.

1) Birth Control.

I think I’ve probably gotten asked this question from friends and acquaintances about a trillion times.   “I’m breaking up with my boyfriend before college.  Should I stay on birth control?”  The answer varies depending on circumstance, but I almost always say yes, for a few reasons.  First of all, even if you don’t plan on having sex during your first year of college, it sometimes happens anyway.  Better safe than sorry.  Second, starting college is a stressful time.  Going off the pill and sending your hormones and your menstrual cycle on a rollercoaster ride might not be the best idea as you adjust to a new environment.  If you’re having intense side effects from your current birth control, talk to a doctor.  If you’re starting or choosing a new hormonal birth control method, I recommend seeking one with a low hormonal dose and with minimal side effects. 

2) Don’t Get Sexiled.

We’ve all heard the roommate-from-hell stories, and believe me, I’m praying for a non-lunatic roomie.  However, there are steps that you can take beyond leaving your fate up to divine power.  From what I’ve heard, it all boils down to communication and mutual respect: think about what could go wrong, talk about it, and make a set of rules (ex: no sex while your roommate is also in the room).  Don’t violate your rules under any circumstance.  And if you do have a crazy, party-animal, sex-addict roommate, find a friend with a comfortable floor ASAP.  That way, you won’t be forced to awkwardly curl up on a common room chair the night before a big final exam.  

3) Your New State

If you’re moving out of state for college, it’s worth checking out the laws applying to reproductive health care in your new state.  Amplify’s handy map feature can connect you to some information about prevalent STIs (which vary according to region).  Also, find out if access to emergency contraception or abortion is restricted in any way. 

4) Your School’s Health Center

Where does your school rank on Trojan’s list of sexual health-friendly campuses? Do you need private insurance to access health care services in college?  Will your health center provide free condoms, or should you bring some?  (Bringing some wouldn’t be a bad idea anyway, although I’m told that most RAs have condoms on their door.)  Will your health center provide free and accessible emergency contraception (Plan B)?  Going directly to your school’s website is probably the best, most direct source of information.

5) Consent

For young people, the concept of consent is one of the most misused and misunderstood aspects of sex.  Consent means an enthusiastic “YES,” and nothing else.  Consent is not a nod, not the absence of a “NO,” not a drunken grin, not a silent gaze or an incoherent shrug.  Consent means that both you and your sexual partner are fully engaged, coherent, and able to voice consent.  I’ve heard many stories from victims of date rape who fail to recognize the legitimacy of their experience because “I was too drunk so I didn’t really say no,” or “I shouldn’t have led him on so much, so it wasn’t really his fault because I was basically asking for it.”  Unless someone literally asks for it, no one should be construed as “wanting it and just playing hard to get.”  If someone is too drunk to communicate coherently, his or her sexual partner should probably stop before things get out of hand.  After all, having sex with a passed out drunk probably won’t be the best sex ever. 

6) To have sex or not to have sex?

If you’ve never had sex before college, don’t feel pressure to go out on your first weekend, get smashed, and “lose it.”  It might look like everyone around you is having sex, or has crazy sex stories, but that is probably not the case. If you feel like you aren’t ready, don’t want to have sex, or just haven’t met anyone you like, don’t.  It’s ok to wait.