Doesn’t it seem absurd that sexual activity is still somewhat of a taboo when everything in the media and out of it is overly sexualized? Sex has long been the staple tool for selling products; even when playing the sex card is obviously absurd. And now we wonder why there are kids running around singing about shaking their boom-booms. There exists this constant pressure to be perfect, beautiful, sexy; being simply oneself is not enough anymore. We’ve all gotta have that ‘bang! Factor’; stand out, make heads turn and all that. Take a look at the following ads:

This one's for a vacuum cleaner. Imagine that


Toilet Paper. Go figure


This one takes the cake. Sex + Coffee = Ridiculous


I can't even begin to try and interpret this one

Sexual images are appropriate for condoms and PETA and whatnot. I don’t really have a problem with the Victoria’s Secrets angels; I just wish they’d get a bit more creative. How many times can you market sexy underwear using women in stilettos and angel wings? It’s so 10,000BC. "...And when she was good, she was very, very good, But when she was bad she was horrid!super sexy..."  But I guess it’s kept the people drooling and green with envy because the stores are still thriving. In other cases however, it’s just ridiculous. What the hell does a woman in a slinky black dress have to do with selling tools? Yes there’s the need to infuse advertising with a little sensuality to make things a little spicy. Like the Korean noodle commercial that starts off with a close-up of a woman’s bobbing head as she pushes her hair to the side, slurps and makes little noises of enjoyment. At the end of the video, she’s shown to have been eating noodles. It’s sexually suggestive and attention-grabbing but doesn’t completely stray from the product being advertised. It’s not their fault if you’re an amateur perv who automatically equates slurping and moaning to oral sex.



Picture one of those scenes where someone has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. First one says, “Hey! Kim Kardashian has a big butt and wears clothes to show off that butt. She’s sexy. Don’t you wanna be sexy?” and then the other one says, “People who have sex before marriage are like used toothbrushes and chewed-up candy – dirty and disgusting. Sex is a no-no.” Another example is my college, where plans to make certain dorms co-ed are in motion but the administration still shys away from questions and discussions about contraceptive access. You’re going to put boys and girls together in one building but you won’t provide condoms so that STDs aren’t passed around? This semester I’ve seen at least 3 pregnant girls whom I know for certain are freshmen in their second semesters. Are you still snickering when I pass out condoms MSU students?

I think it’s very interesting that it’s such a struggle to provide teenagers with comprehensive sexual education in schools when MTV currently airs at least 3 shows addressing teen pregnancy. Like teens aren’t having sex. “Tori is my little golden girl. She’d never have sex before marriage!” Yeah Amy Juergen’s parents thought she was perfect too and she got pregnant at 15 after having sex once. Maybe those responsible for all the ridiculous abstinence-only education should tackle the oversexed media out there. All these ludicrous and hypocritical contradictions are the reasons why there are crazy people mouthing off about how “sex is a sin” (To her I said, “You must be a sin then ‘cos your parents had sex to create you” I know, BURN!) and are hesitant to be seen buying sexual paraphernalia. But hey! Trojan’s selling vibrators via TV spots now so that’s a step forward right? In the [heavily edited] words of Marie Antoinette, “Let them have sex!”

And what have we learned today?
1. We live in a hypocritical society
2. Advertisers need to get their minds out of the gutter and get creative
3. We should pay less attention to what the world tells us we should be and just be