Seven years ago today, as I was preparing to leave my therapeutic boarding school in Connecticut, I was sexually abused by a staff member, and when I tried to tell staff, they blew me off with ":didn't happen", "not my problem", and "that doesn't happen to boys" (I had not been out about my transgender status). Two years ago, I finally mustered up the courage to come forward about what happened and report it to the police, which then led to my old advisor from the school calling my household and accusing me of lying (I had not told my parents beforehand, and this happened after I filed the police report) and also threatening to sue me (they backed down, thankfully).

To say that this has destroyed my emotional health is an understatement. I may never be able to work due to the post-trauma; I already had a mental health disability beforehand, but this screwed me up even worse. Also exacerbating it was constant harrassment by my peers who would not leave me alone and not respected my boundaries, for a few social errors I made early on.

I have just wanted to heal since then, but this has really destroyed me. I've had suicidal thoughts and I've lost a lot of friends due to coming out and the aftermath of the disability due to the assault.

But what makes me angry is that when they threatened to sue me, I decided to get a lawyer to file a personal injury lawsuit. I discovered that because I was 18 at the time, the civil statute ran after two years. Of course, the criminal statute is only marginally more flexible, at 5 years.

Which got me thinking, why should we even have civil or criminal statutes of limitations for sexual assault?

CONTENT AFTER THE CUT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME PEOPLE, READ WITH CARE!!!

Think about it, sexual assault is one of the worst things that can happen to somebody. And the worst thing is, you live to be revictimized again in the courts. Indeed, Connecticut's SOL law does not address issues such as prisoner rape (hypothetical: what if somebody was sentenced to a hard six years in prison and on the first day, they were molested. Considering the violent culture of the criminal justice system, the survivor would understandably not be in a position to report it within the SOL). And what about psychiatric institutes, or even boarding schools (if this had happened to a 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, or 17 year old, that child would have until 48 to report it), or other situations where reporting the incident could put their lives even more in danger.

But then again, there is a reason Connecticut has a tort system only a libertarian think tank could love; because the boarding school industry is afraid of lawsuits. If this happened in my home state of New Jersey, not only would there be no criminal statute of limitations, but because of a disabling condition exception, there would not be a statute of limitations for most victims (rape trauma syndrome).

Joining New Jersey in not having a criminal statute of limitations for sexual assault are Alabama, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Missouri, North Carolina, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wyoming. I think that all states should follow the lead of these states and remove both the criminal and civil SOL of sexual assault, as well as negligence relating to sexual assault.

And in my coverage of NOM, I found an article by Mama Grizzly Maggie Gallagher decrying the removal of statute of limitations. While I do agree the public school exemption is not a good idea, this quote got me boiling:

I don't mind crucifying the abusers, whatever their religion. But in this case permitting lawyers to collect vast sums from nonprofits is not going to punish the abusers. It's going to punish, even potentially shut down, students, teachers and parents at religious schools and other faith communities who never did anything wrong. Schools and churches are not businesses. Their expenses are paid by people using them now. The people who will pay for this flood of litigation are mostly those who had no control over what happened 30 years ago.