This was written March 20, 2008 - but is still relevant in Jamaica.

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Early sex is certianly not a new fad and children are fully aware of that. In fact many of us are products of teenage mothers or parents who were in a sexual relationship in high school.

Quite recently, a number of sex clips have been surfacing the internet. Every parent must be living in fear, wondering when they will hear or perhaps see their child on ‘de tape’. In fact I am sure my mother prays everyday that my little sister is not having sex and certinaly wont be one of the rising stars. I was far from shocked to learn that video of a girl performing oral sex at my alma mater surfaced or rather was leaked to the Principal.

Not too long ago Betty-Ann Blaine in discussion with a caller on her daytime programme ‘On the Agenda’ about this high school students hobby recording sexual scenes deemed these explicit acts abominable, unacceptable, and unjust in the sight of God.

But do teenagers really care what any of us think? Of course not! When I expressed my shock with one teenager from a school in Manchester who sent me some clips he was quick to let me know that the technology has only made these occurrences more blatant. He highlighted that we were all having sex and we must stop pretending.

Does this mean that if we begin to approach our high school problems with more ‘livity’ as we may call it - our policies and intervention programs might begin to have more purpose? Perhaps we will never know.

We are all so quick to attack these students for enjoying themselves to the point that we stigmatise them, but none of us have taken responsibility of lynching the media for sensationalising these incidences.

The media have a major role to play in society and a responsibility to the public. But we have all become so profit focussed that even the best of us with National Honours and respect have lost focus. Now can we really blame these children? Think about it.

In all the articles I have read sorrounding these happenings not once have I seen a call for students to use a condom, talk to a responsible adult or peer about what they are doing or even to speak with a teenager and find out why all this really happens. And to make an even more bigger impact charge the relevant stakeholders to look into the issue differently.

Now who are we to blame? Let’s point fingers on the media, the education ministry, guidance counsellors, parents, churches, businesses, and schools. I say let’s blame the damn society! Who makes it up? All of us.

Why are we all so important to this process of so called communication and behaviour change modification? What should we really do? Sit and continue to curse students who have sex? Tell them that sex is something that should be of value between two - when so many of us sleep around? Com’on let’s be real for once!

I agree that the issue of students having sex at school or at home is one that must be taken seriously, but certainly not the way in which we have been going about it over the years.

Let’s talk about sex now! And I say do it before it’s too late. Before we even try to educate children about all these fears we have why they shouldnt have sex - we must tell them about it. Young people need as much information about sex and sexuality from an early age so they can begin to make more informed decisions.

Really, why are Jamaicans so afraid to talk about sex and sexuality? Why cant we be open about it? Yes it is a private activity - so what? I am sure morals and the Bible permits discourse on the matter and even if it didnt you wouldnt automatically be banished to hell. So my friends, there is no need for us to go back to the days of telling our children that mommy has a tomato (instead of saying vagina) and daddy has a plantain (why not penis?).

Do you realise how silly we are? As Nadia Howe, CEO at the May Pen Hospital expressed to me in a conversation recently - it makes no sense for us to tell young people not to do this and that and not speak to them openly.

One student from a prominent all girls school in Montego Bay, St James also shared with me that “it doesnt really matter how much abstinence is preached it all boils down to personal choice.”

So how can we influence personal choice? Tell them about sex or shove things under the carpet? According to Andrew Francis, Convenor of the Jamaica Youth Advocacy Network (JYAN) “the only way they (young people) can make informed choices about such when they are given the necessary information.”

Francis highlighted that information sharing is important to influencing personal choice because “curiousity and adventure may lead them to get involved in high risk sexuality activity even without information about sex, sexuality, benefits of delaying sexual activity or protecting one’s self in the case that you cannot abstain.”

My advice is as the adage says, teach a child in the way he should grow so that when he is old he will not depart from it. This will only happen when adults remove their fears, and be honest with adolescents!