Pleasurable but not guilty: At an informational session at work this week, Advocates for Youth staff was treated to the video for You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) by Sylvester as part of an examination of the evolution of homosexuality and gender expression. Conclusion: Best video ever!

 

Guilty but not pleasurable: TV about people with a lot of kids. Your Duggars, your Jon and Kates Plus Hates. Why is TLC obsessed with this? It’s weird and creepy. And unless they are singing sweetly about a cuckoo, it is also boring.

 

Not guilty, not pleasurable: Rachel Maddow. Sure, she’s smart and an awesomely visible lesbian. But there is a large and uncrossable gulf between me and a person who proudly proclaims they do not own a television.

 

And this week’s guilty pleasure: Kanye West. Over the weekend Kanye was on VH1’s Storytellers and he basically babbled the entire time.   And oh, how Kanye can babble. Aside from pointing out that he doesn’t read and is mad at Radiohead, he said a bunch of weird stuff about giving Chris Brown a break and how relatedly, OJ and Michael Phelps are both fantastic. (And I’m sure everyone in that trio is thrilled with the comparisons.) 

 

These comments come on the heels of a recent Details interview where Kanye described designing a sex video game at age 12 (I wonder if he encountered the Uncanny Valley problem), confessed to being addicted to sex, and enthusiastically proclaimed a commitment to turning the word “gay” around so that it means something positive, especially since all the gay people he had met recently had been “like really, really, extremely dope.” (Note to self: say “dope” more.)  

Pleasurable but not guilty: Loving Hugh Jackman. I have a pretty solid track record of lesbianism, but I say: Jackman is adorable. Right? What’s not to love? I can’t think of anything. 

 

Guilty but not pleasurable - American Idol. After many seasons of loyal viewing I have deleted this from my DVR. I have a one-word reason: ANOOP. Bring him back or suffer my wrath, Cowell!

 

Not guilty, not pleasurable, and infinitely painful: Is me not watching the current and last  season of Battlestar Galactica because I’m late to the party and am just starting season three. What torture! And this world is so full of spoilers, too.

 

And this week’s guilty pleasure is Real Housewives programming on Bravo. This Tuesday we had the end (reunion show) of this season of Orange County, followed by the second episode of New York.  

 

Why is it so fun? Everyone on it is terrible and it is doing no favors for An Enlightened Culture, what with the conspicuous consumption, sporadic social conservatism, and unfortunate cleavage.  And the child rearing, my goodness! The kids on the New York version seem OK, although I fear for poor French-speaking toddlers Francois and Johan and their cracked parents Alex and Simon. But in Orange County they’re apparently intent on raising a bunch of sociopaths.  One OC child is in jail, one is prone to violent outbursts against his own mother, two or more sexually harass their mothers’ friends, and several have entirely empty heads and drinking problems.

 

Exceptions include Brianna, a trauma nurse who is a nice person in spite of  her mother Vicki’s screeching. (Vicki is also famous for telling the world all about how NO CHILD OF HERS will ever have premarital sex; popping into the hotel room of her 21 year old daughter to make sure she is alone/not having sex; and being horrified that her friends “allow” their older teen children to have sex, which: wow.) And Kara, who (barely, and for about one more year) gets a pass for being funny, and whose mother is training her to regard both the homeless, and liberals, with terror and disgust.  

 

I think it is fun because of good casting; the ladies may be horrible but they are rarely boring.   And in this economy*  it’s more clear than it was a few years ago that they are not to be emulated or envied but rather watched with fascination/revulsion, like cane toads.

 

As for the Atlanta edition, it was NOT fun and WAS somehow boring; I am shocked that there is going to be a second season. And I can’t decide if it’s great that they are finally acknowledging the existence of African Americans in the franchise, or horrible that the Real Housewives plague has spread to African Americans. 

 

One more thing: I hate that Bravo uses the same music in all its shows. “The top four chefs talk about the future” should not at ALL have the same music as “Jeana’s date picks her up in a limo.” 

*There, I have now fulfilled the requirement that every article that comes out these days includes the phrase In This Economy

Pleasurable, but not Guilty:  The TV show Chuck. Great writing, great characters, and a deep respect for nerdliness make this show as delightful as a delicious frozen yogurt. Please watch it so it does not get cancelled!

 

Guilty, but not pleasurable:  Dollhouse, the long-awaited series from Buffy creator Joss Whedon. Guys, the show is not good and it is gross. I don’t care that he’s “not good at pilots” or whatever. He made a boring show! Where girls are farmed out for sex after getting their minds zapped! It’s gross, creepy, and seems to have no redeeming qualities (like for instance, good acting or good writing). What a disappointment.

 

Not guilty, not pleasurable, and soon to not even be on my radar is the hot mess that is Saturday Night Live. IT’S SO BORING. Every week many of the skits are weirdly homophobic and woman-hating, but who can even be bothered to care?  I fell asleep before the opening credits even rolled! Maybe it’s time to pack it in, folks.

 

And this week’s guilty pleasure is the song “Love Story” by Taylor Swift. Yes I know. It is low-hanging fruit, as it is by a teen country crossover and has been at the top of the chart for months. However, please hear my theory: this song is a secret weapon of the abstinence-only-education movement!

 

I won’t reproduce the entire song but here is how it goes:

 

VERSE ONE: The singer “Juliet” meets “Romeo” at a party, and hearts him, but her “daddy” says she can’t see him.

 

CHORUS: Juliet bids Romeo to take her somewhere, promises to wait. 

 

VERSE TWO: They meet in the garden, but know that their romance is forbidden! By Daddy.

 

CHORUS: Juliet continues to wait.

 

BRIDGE: Juliet observes that she has been waiting for some time! 

 

VERSE THREE: Romeo and Juliet meet; Juliet asks what the deal is. Over a soaring key change Romeo says he has resolved the Dad issue, and proposes! Happily ever after ensues.  

 

First of all notice the concern over the Daddy – not “my parents” but “My daddy.” Was the party R and J met at perhaps a purity ball?  

 

Secondly, the final verse literally jumps from Juliet wondering of their romance “Is this in my head?” to Romeo proposing. Or rather, ordering Juliet to marry him – he says: “Marry me Juliet…I talked to your Dad, go pick out a white dress.” On what basis are these two getting married? They have met two times that we know of. And Juliet wasn’t even sure he liked her ten seconds ago! Romeo, dude, maybe the girl wanted to date first. Especially given the unfortunate coincidence of your names.

 

But finally and the key to my argument:  the song is entirely sexless. The two never even kiss. All the talk is of vague “going somewhere we can be alone,” but it is without a HINT of seduction, trust me. And Swift at one point weirdly refers to herself as a scarlet letter, which I don’t understand but certainly connotes shame around sexuality.  Here is what I am saying: JT may have brought the sexy back but these new teen acts are driving it away with deadly, sweet earnestness. 

 

So, in summation, after two meetings they are supposedly in forbidden/lustless love; the guy works it out with the girl’s previously hostile dad and informs the girl they are getting married. How….gross.

 

All this said: That song rules. I would gladly listen to it a thousand times a day, because it is adorable and that key change kills.  I believe I am experiencing with this song the same feelings that supporters of abstinence-only education must have. “If we don’t tell them about condoms and Depo,  they’ll totally never have sex or even kiss, and then they will get married (after asking their Daddies of course) and live happily ever after!”  

 

But the song, like the idea that abstinence-only education works, is a pretty illusion. Listen to it, watch the video, but don’t be fooled.  Real teens need a real approach to learning about love, sexuality, and pregnancy, HIV, and STI prevention.

 

This week’s entertainment categories report:

Pleasurable, but not guilty:  The Daily Show's  discussion of Anderson Cooper's "Puppydential Debate."



This segment is blowing my mind. Is Anderson Cooper a complete weirdo or some kind of mad genius?  The corny jokes; the shameless cuteness; that this appeared on a 24 hour news channel...it's all entirely and undeniably awesome.  And I'm with Jon: it is adorable!  Call me, Anderson! 

 

Guilty but not pleasurable:  The City.  Oh, Whitney...I like you.  You seem sweet.  I also like trash. But the show is boring! Like, even more boring than The Hills which is unquestionably boring!

 

Not guilty, not pleasurable:  New Year's Resolution-related TV.  I get it, basic cable: you're interested in my health and well-being.  If I have to watch one more cooking show about cleansing foods or  anything about cleansing any aspect of my life,  I am going to drink a jar of gravy.

 

This week's Guilty Pleasure (and, every week's?):  90210.  I know you probably disagree.  No one likes that show!  What's to like?  It's stupid and pretty boring, kind of like The Hills!  But you know, one thing it does retain from the original is the earnestness.  Like, sure, it's about handbags and rich girls or whatever; but it's also about Serious Social Issues, folks.  In this week's episode, the A-plot was excruciating (as any plot in which lead character Annie is involved must always be).  But the B-plots were great! 

 

In the first, recovering speed freak and terrible actor Adriana discovered that her "friend" from rehab had HIV.  She recalled in shock that "friend" actually meant she slept with him a couple times.  (This was revealed with suck a clunky fake-casualness, by the way; it was like the writers were standing behind her with signs saying saying "KIDS TODAY! THIS IS WHAT THEY DO!" ) Her teachers and 90210 alums Kelly and Brenda urged her to get tested for HIV.  (No discussion of if condoms were used during the rehab sex, but okay.)  Happy day, she was  negative; BUT WAIT!  She is pregnant.  Nicely done!  I did not see that coming!  What will Adriana, who was shocked and horrified to find herself pregnant, do now?  I bet you it's not "get an abprtion"! Anyway, the show did a reasonable job of portraying the shock of both unintended pregnancy, and finding out a partner has HIV; but would it have killed someone to mention condoms and contraception?  (Fun fact:  The CDC recently revised its factsheet on condom effectiveness to include even more substantial evidence that when used consistently and correctly, condoms are highly effective in preventing the transmission of HIV....Man, what a hot sentence.  I should write for the show.  Call me, producers!

 

In the second B-plot, (C-plot?) main character and former foster child Dixon started spending time with a cheerleader who was not his girlfriend, including going to a barbecue at her record executive father's house, where he met many famous people.  He also got to socialize with other black people, something he doesn't get to do too much what with living with a white family.  "I didn't realize there were this many black people in Beverly Hills!" he remarked.  The show also implied that the cheerleader was romantically interested in Dixon, but no!  That was just more misdirection, because she has a girlfriend!  The show hedged its bets a little in having her firmly state that she has dated both men and women, which is funny:  "Let's make sure our two black characters are free to hook up sometime in the future."  Anyway, I say good on the show for exploring the race issue in a somewhat thoughtful way.  Sure, Christina lives in a fairy tale; but so do most people on the show, that's the whole idea.

 

Overalll, I say good on the show for trying.  But they must get rid of Annie!  Surely some plot twist can send her back to Kansas forever. Ask Brenda and her time in "art school in Paris"  for the last 7 years of the original show how it's done.

 

I see four categories of entertainment out there: 

 

Pleasurable, but generally not guilty: The Amazing Race, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Alicia Keys, Audrey Hepburn movies, that kind of stuff

 

Guilty, but not pleasurable: Rock of Love, romance novels, 50 Cent

 

Neither guilty nor pleasurable: Nature shows; sports, CSPAN

 

 And of course, Guilty Pleasures:   my personal favorites and the focus of this column.

 

I’ll point out right off the bat, though, that this title may be a misnomer. When it comes to pop culture, should a person feel guilty about pleasure? Is there really a song, TV show, or website so bad that I have to feel bad about liking it? And on the other hand if something is really such a negative force in the culture, how can I enjoy it and live with myself? Zzzzzz…..wait, what? Oh, sorry, that discussion puts me right to sleep.   

 

I’ve accepted that much of pop culture is…troubling, from the relentless whiteness of Gossip Girl to the relentless shrieking of Tyra Banks. I still watch, listen to, read, click on, and play it all. I like it all.  I accept that sometimes it is probably affecting me and millions of others in negative ways – perpetuating stereotypes, giving out bad messages, filling my mind with imagery it doesn’t need. But it’s also giving me entertainment, escapism, food for thought, and Chuck Bass. 

 

So my plan is to stay engaged with pop culture. Not submit to it passively; not avoid or boycott it, but take it in critically. Enjoy it, but pay attention to the voice that says “Man, that is effed up” – and keep on naming the problems I see.    I’ll be doing that weekly. I also welcome debate about what’s a guilty pleasure and what’s not. But please: do not ever defend C-Span to me. Until I get some interviews of congressmen telling me they’re not here to make friends and they’ll do what they have to do to win the modeling/cooking/romance/design competition, I’m not interested.