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Today I had a short, but none the less interesting discussion with my boyfriend about family. We've talked about this before a bit, but today it came up while he was writing a college paper on family communication (or something to that nature). He was telling me about what the definition of family is, and how this definition is truly based mainly in ones own experience.
Take for instance a youth that comes from a "privileged" home. This youth comes from a home with both a Father (masculine/aggressive figure) and a mother (feminine/passive figure). A youth from a home with two parents would see this type of household as a family. A homeless youth might have a totally antithetical view of what a family consists of. Parallel to these arguments are the ideas behind biological family vs. chosen community. Some would say that only your relatives can be part of your family, while others might say that only those who you do not share blood with can share that deep of a connection with.
Can we consider the saying "blood is thicker than water," to be subsequently irrelevant?
When thinking about family, I actually consider almost all of the people I am biologically related to, to not be part of my family. The fact that they are only relatives of mine, because that is what I was told all my life makes me weary of these relationships. For all I know they could have just been the people who found me in the gutter. Does this fact make them any less of a part of my family?
Questions like this make me define family in a looser term:
Family is (for me at least) the people who I choose to surround myself with, who I love, (this is a big key to my definition, and possibly the most important point) and who love me.
There are some other details that are not mentioned in this definition, but I feel this simple synopsis serves to define family in a meaningful way.
What do you think?
Ernesto
Personally, I agree with you...family are the people you choose to love because they are unbelievably amazing, and love you for who you are, the good the bad, the beautiful and the ugly...they are still there when all the mist clears, they are the ones that help you up after the falls, they are there because they love you and they see the human side of you that we all have without judging you...and it is a sad thing that family is sometimes no more than one other person...but the great thing about family is that you know they will always be there to love you...and even if it is just one person, they are the one person that sees you for who you are and accepts you for just that...it's beautiful!
~Ezzy