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BreakingTheWaves
BreakingTheWavesTuesday, January 27, 2009 at 12:06:00 PM EST
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Natalie Dylan, a 22 year old women’s studies grad from California, has been the buzz of the blogsphere since she put her virginity up for auction on the internet and announced that the bidding reached 3.8 million this month. She describes it as a money-making “sociological experiment” inspired by her college experience with women’s studies courses.
Natalie Dylan is in a privileged position. She’s white, college educated, and has access to the mainstream media. And no matter what anyone thinks about what she’s doing with her virginity, she’s within her rights as an American citizen to do it. She can, and does, even call it a feminist act.
But, with her privilege Dylan should know that by no means is her idea original – men have been buying and selling women’s hymens since Bible times, and the practice continues in both the East and West in various forms. And while she proudly notes that she will get her pick of the many men willing to pay top dollar for her first time, most women don’t have such choice in the matter.
New York Times’ columnist Bill Kristol recently wrote a heart-wrenching plea to Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton to take immediate steps to end sex trafficking all over the world. He introduced us to13 year old Ling Pross of Cambodia:
She was kept locked deep inside the brothel, her hands tied behind her back at all times except when with customers.
Brothel owners can charge large sums for sex with a virgin, and like many girls, Ms. Pross was painfully stitched up so she could be resold as a virgin. In all, the brothel owner sold her virginity four times.
It doesn’t say for how much, but I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t 3.7 million – and I can be pretty damn sure Ling Pross didn’t get any of it to go to graduate school.
Think I’m being dramatic? After all, Natalie Dylan wasn’t kidnapped and sold to a brothel, she contacted a brothel herself in order to auction off a commodity on the “one level on which men cannot compete.” She claims that she’s reclaiming her sexuality and flipping gender bias into an example of American entrepreneurship. If the sucker will pay, who’s to stop him? It is hers to sell, after all.
Ok. She can do that. She – the individual, meaning a straight, white, educated, American – can and will subject herself to probes to prove her virginity, hob nob it up with television pimp Dennis Hof and net enough cash and blog buzz to start a singing career if the “family and marriage counseling” idea doesn’t pan out.
Ironically, she can do it because of the gains on the women’s movement.
But in the process she is without a doubt reiterating that, in an era that is purported to be post-feminist, women’s bodies are simply capital, their worth is between their legs. And by implication, she is establishing that she’s worth far more than most women by virtue of birthplace and will forever be worth less as a woman in general the day after she does the deed.
She can do it, but it doesn’t mean she should. The signals got crossed somewhere – sexual liberation wasn’t hard won so that we as young women can participate in our own subjection and call it progress.
In fact, the privilege that she and I share comes with the responsibility of making the connections between a culture that has spawned the bidding war for her virginity and the sex tourism that delivers customers to Ling Pross in Cambodia – and making it very clear that anytime women’s bodies are put on the market, the woman is never in a winning position.
In any situation where women’s bodies are being trafficked, legally or illegally, there are undoubtedly fat cats, usually male, sitting around counting the dollars (or Cambodian riel, as the case may be). What percentage will Dennis Hof and his Bunny Ranch get of Dylan’s asking price, for instance? Something tells me she will see a whole lot less of that bounty by the time the whole thing is said and done.
I wonder what else she’ll come up short of after this experience. One of the privileges that Dylan enjoys that the women who are not just playing at prostitution don’t is that, after she takes the money and runs, she’ll have the opportunity to explore how amazing sex can be when neither partner is participating in the other’s exploitation.
Dylan concludes that she might be an “early adopter of a future trend.” I certainly hope not. Western capitalism combined with some shaky feminist philosophy does not a statement make – quite the opposite, in fact.
Unless she’s pulling one over on us all. Her auction has prompted numerous discussions about the status of women in this country and she actually made Fox News say the word “maidenhead” on the air. I hope when the big exchange comes she’ll refuse the money and instead publicly post the names and photos of the wealthy bidders for their wives, girlfriends, and daughters to see how much they might be worth in comparison. Or, get in good at the Bunny Ranch and write a devastating tell all on the whole slimy operation.
Or she can take the money. Go to grad school, write a dissertation on the experience and then give the rest of the spoils to an organization like Equality Now that works for an end to domestic and international sex trafficking. That, at least, would be something shaped like progress.
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First of all, everything on this earth has value, and as such, this value can ususally be translated into a price. If Dylan doesn't value her virginity or doesn't view her body as some sort of abstract, holy object, then she's the one coming out of top, because she's essentially getting something for nothing.
It's consentual. No one is being subjected, no matter how much you might disagree. Oppression happens when one party is forcefully made to do something against their will; this is why BDSM is not illegal, for example.You should clairify by adding "without her consent". Sex trafficking is horrible and vile. Prostitution makes suckers out of men, and makes women a living.
The exact percentage they agreed upon, as per their contract. If there is no contract, then Dylan doesn't need to pay them anything.
Maybe I should quit my job, because my boss is "exploiting" my labor. In fact, everyone should quit their jobs, because concentual exchanges of goods and services could be considered exploitation, using your broad definition.
My point is, essentially, it's literally impossible to oppress someone or something if they want and consented to it. Natalie Dylan is neither undermining nor fighting for feminism, she's merely selling an object (an idea, really) that she has little use for and other people are willing to pay for.
"Maybe I should quit my job, because my boss is "exploiting" my labor. In fact, everyone should quit their jobs, because concentual exchanges of goods and services could be considered exploitation, using your broad definition.
My point is, essentially, it's literally impossible to oppress someone or something if they want and consented to it. Natalie Dylan is neither undermining nor fighting for feminism, she's merely selling an object (an idea, really) that she has little use for and other people are willing to pay for." -Brad Odonnell
Little use for? C'mon man, do you have little use for your penis? And be careful when you refer to a vagina as an object...or a woman for that matter. Even if she's selling her sex, her virginity its still apart of a person, a spirit, a woman.
I think the point that is trying to be made is that women's bodies shouldn't be something that you can buy or have ownership over. That is where the oppression comes in... the fact that this woman can make more than she could in any work place at the moment by selling her vagina is troubling. What does it say about the value of a woman? Until women are valued more for their intellect and work than their sex, there will be prostitution. I think Gloria Steinem coined those words.
Also, is prostitution a "brilliant social experiment" or just the world's oldest profession?
Sorry Natalie... you won't make anyone's short list for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Also, I think this young woman is a fool, because she's going into the situation thinking she has control, but whatever control she has will be stripped away once she hands her virginity over to a paying man. Do you know what happens to these women when they try to get out of this situations? It's like trying to get out of a gang.
And I also take offense to the previous comment asking why a 25-year-old feminist is a virgin. What difference does that really make? Do you think that means that feminists automatically need to be promiscuous under the guise of "I am taking back my sexuality"?