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My parents are really religous, and I’m not sure whta to do about it. I mean I know I can’t change them, just as they can’t change me. But I can’t help but wonder if there’s SOMETHING, anything that I can do. My parents (step mom and bilogical father) go to church twice a week (wendsdays and sundays) and twice on sudays. I think thi sis fine, it doesn’t bother me. What does bother me however is when I walk into the house and hear my father listening to some pastor talking on the television or the raidio about how same sex marriage is wonrg, how all the homosexuals were going to go to hell. How we are wrong, immoral, disgusting etc. I know I should be all self righous and say it doesnt bother me because I know ho I am and that’s all that matters. But I honestly can’t ay that.
I’m fifteen, I don’t know who I am. I’m not confident about myself whatso ever. I think my chest is to big, my feet are to big, my hair is to short, and that I talk to much. I’m not sure about anything abotu myself. It hurts to see that the thing my parents put their hearts and their souls in is utterly against who I am as a human being. It’s not like they openly oppose me or anything, but I can tell that they dont like that part of who I am.
I know I can whine and complain about how horrible my life is, how nothing is right, and blah blah blah, but I know I have it alot better then most people. I know that I don’t have a righ tto complain abotu anything. I know that. I just wish I knew how to fix...this.
I doubt myself someitmes. At night when I’m all alone with my own thoughts my mind wonders and I think abotu wheather I’m actually wonrg. What I really am going to go to hell becuase I like girls? What if I am misguided? What if I am wrong?
i don’t know. I don’t know about anything to be honest.
When it comes to issues of homosexuality and religion, I always recommend that people read this article by Rev. Mel White, co-founder of Soul Force (a group that travels across the country educating people on religious tolerance for the LGBTQ community.) I think it's brilliant.
I also want to say that sexuality is fluid, so if you're still wondering/questioning how you identify/act on your sexuality, that's okay. All that matters is that you do what feels right for you. That being said, your feelings about your sexual orientation are not "misguided." As long as you're honest with yourself, it would be impossible to be misguided. And, let me say that you're definitely NOT going to hell for being lesbian. I can tell you that with certainty.
You don't have to know exactly who you are in order to know that you're attracted to females. Attraction is a very basic instinct. You can't control it. It guides you, rather than you guiding it. It's not a choice.
I also want to recommend that you repeat to yourself, every day, "I am a good person. I'm proud to be a lesbian. I deserve to be loved and respected." Even if you have some trouble believing any of that, say it. The more you say it, the more you'll believe it.
I wish you the best! Please keep us updated.
*hug*