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When it comes to pop culture, sex is everything! Sexual content and commentary fills the television we watch, the music we listen to, the news we read and even the fashion we embrace. While we can be wary of its impact (often pop culture both reflects and perpetuates societal schizophrenia regarding sex) we are also drawn to it like moths to a flame. After all, who doesn’t like a bit of Hollywood gossip now and again?
 
This section of Amplify is both a celebration and an exploration of pop culture today. When it comes to sex and sexuality, how do the movies we watch, the music we listen to and even the video games we play reflect and affect our individual lives, our relationships and our views as a culture?
 
We’ll feature the expertise and unique point of view of our regular columnists, as well as cultural commentary from bloggers from around the world. Chime in. We’d love to hear your thoughts!


Wednesday, July 28, 2010 at 3:50:00 PM EDT
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As summer begins I am often looking forward to the sun kissing all parts of my skin. I can't wait to visit the beach, which is one of the few spaces I find peace of mind and am reminded that there's so many bigger things out there and that my problems are just a small speck of something larger. In addition to this ritual beach trip and the sun kissing my skin, I know I must prepare for another type of exposure: showing my ink.

As a fat sexologist of Color who is also inked and over six feet tall with a disability, there is often an additional element of awareness that my body is being read by others. This is something that has come up for me since I was 18 years old and began to adorn my body with images, words, and symbols that are meaningful to me. As I've aged, I've continued the journey of using my body as a canvas, it sounds cliché, but it's true! There have been many issues that have come up for me as someone who is getting older and my multiple identities intersecting in various spaces have resulted in extremely diverse interactions with people and amazing opportunities to share and create knowledge.

One of the reasons I chose to write about tattooing, or ink as I like to call it, is because I believe that tattooing is a form of creating media. As someone who started their first ever tattoo with symbols and words, I've had a very interesting path to figuring out why and how I want to choose an image or term and on what part of my body I wish to do so. I know today, that just as I put glitter on my camouflage jacket back in the early 90s, that my tattoos also send a message about who I am, what I wish to represent, and how I choose to move my social justice agenda forward.

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Monday, June 28, 2010 at 8:03:00 AM EDT

It's real. It's fleshy and short and caramel-colored and honestly, it's bigger and lumpier and weaker than I wish it was just now. But that's my business. I can do some things about that or not to a certain extent. How much I care varies from day to day. You can think I'm fine or a fat slob, that's your business, whether I like it or not. But what you cannot do, what you should never even wish you could do, is torture my body or anyone else's in order to get rich selling an impossible fairytale about bodies on the teevee, and then pretending It's All True and if the rest of us can't measure up, we just don't want it badly enough. Or, rather, I suppose you can, but you will burn in Hell for doing it. And I don't even believe in Hell.

I've been sick to my stomach for weeks reading Golda Poretsky's three-part interview with Kai Hibbard, a former finalist on NBC's weight-loss boot camp aspirational reality show, The Biggest Loser. It's gut-wrenching (pun intended) and I can't urge you strongly enough to read the whole thing, but let me bottom-line it for you here: that feel-good show about fat people literally re-forming their sad bodies (and by extension, sad lives) through steely determination, exercise and a healthy diet? It's a lie. The whole thing. Start-to-finish. A "week" isn't a week (sometimes it's as long as 14 days), inspiring trainers are actually terrifying dictators more concerned with tv-friendly results than the eating disorders they're instilling, and triumphs of will are really stories about captives gritting through the torture of working out for up to 7 hours dangerously dehydrated and on serious injuries.

In other words? In order to sell us the fairytale that every body can look the same if we all just work hard enough to be healthy, NBC and the producers of this show create a completely unattainable ideal and, in the process, blithley hobble the health of the very "average Americans" we're supposed to emulate.

And on the heels of that, this fresh dump crapped out by Dove, supposed champion of "real" women, casting for their next ad campaign, looking for only "real" women with "FLAWLESS SKIN, NO TATTOOS OR SCARS! Well groomed and clean...Nice Bodies..NATURALLY, FIT Not too Curvy Not too Athletic."

So, dear Unilever, dear NBC, dear Jillian Michaels, dear anyone else who's ever tried to sell me fictional "health" in order to make me feel like a failure so that I'll buy more of your crap: Eff you. You can be my fake friend all day and all night, and I'll still see you for who you really are: the enemy of my strength. And don't be mistaken: I'm getting stronger every day. And I'm not alone.There are legions of us who are stronger than ever, strong enough to know that any food we can swallow is better for us than your lies. We reject social acceptance if we have to be broken or controlled to get it. We know that verbal abuse isn't love, scars don't have to be flaws, and less weight doesn't always equal more health. And we're telling. We're whispering these secrets into more ears every day. We're shouting them from rooftops where we can.

You want to watch a number get smaller and smaller? Just count the days left you have in power.

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Thursday, May 27, 2010 at 1:26:00 PM EDT

When I first saw Venus Williams’ attire for the French Open I was enamored. I was sent the story of her outfit a few times by friends. The last time it was sent to me  , and when I decided to write this piece, I said to my homegirl: “Sigh. Black women’s bodies are always causing stirs.”
 
 
Honestly, I love that Venus Williams chose, wore, and won in this outfit! What is wrong with a woman choosing to have fun in her sport? What is wrong with a female athlete of Color claiming her femininity and sex appeal that is often taken away from them? What is wrong with a Black woman who is one of the best tennis players in the world demonstrating her ability to do other things besides play tennis? In my opinion, and as I shared about the days when I made my own clothing as well  , I see this as a form of media making.
 
Haven’t seen the outfit? Check it out below and you can see a slide show here.
 



The outfit was described as:  “a lacy, black overlay giving it the illusion of being see-through, and bright red trim on the bodice, Williams' corset-like get-up made her look as if she were ready to perform in a 19th century Parisian cancan chorus line.” I love Venus. I love the fact that she got lace onto a tennis court. I love that she has a curvy body that she adores and is proud of.
 
What messages is Venus sending when she creates her own outfits and wears them on an international competitive stage? How do our racialized, classist, and sexist ideologies that are based on gender expectations and body image become so transparent in seconds? Questions such as “why would you wear that to play tennis” I, a non-tennis player would answer/ask “why wouldn’t you wear that to play tennis” I mean she’s in sneakers, she is supported, she can move around. Seems like a good and fashion forward option. Would this be an issue if the person wearing the outfit were: White, physically smaller than Venus, and/or not as well known or wealthy? (I’d also make the argument that in our country there is also a discomfort with Black wealth, no matter how minimally distributed it is among members of the community).
 
Then you have the idea that her attire resembles a corset and petticoat. This I happen to adore personally. If I could find a petticoat to fit across my juicy goodness I’d wear it all over the place. I even have friends who love to ride their bikes in the city with their petticoats on. Is there something about our own psyche that will not allow us to have a Black women imagine herself in such attire without overly sexualizing her? Are we so far removed from Black female narratives that we can’t imagine how it may have been a reality for some Black women living in this country to have put on, created, and wore such attire?
 
What I also appreciate is Venus’ decision to very clearly state she wanted to play with the idea of “illusion.” This to me is art. People love, hate, and get confused by art all the time. As the daughter of an artist, I was raised to see art as something that produces knowledge, that challenges people and that can invoke a response/reaction regardless of what it is, and that is power!
 
So is her outfit more that people are more uncomfortable with a Black woman being confident in her body, in her ability, in her power versus watching a Black woman get “screwed”? I think our US society is much more comfortable watching Black women get screwed (think Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball) versus watching them embrace and own their power. Why are we so comfortable taking away Black women’s agency/self-determination because they challenge what we find problematic? It’s a fine line and I’m not comfortable taking anyone’s power away, especially as a media maker, a young person, or a young person of Color.
 
Perhaps it is her name that may invoke a response so intense that people are uncomfortable. If one appreciates the mythology of the name Venus , and it’s connection to fertility and beauty than understanding some discomfort around Venus Williams’ gender expression may be clarified. Of all the images I’ve seen of “Venus” they are of light skinned women with long (often blonde/light) hair. Recognizing that in our society Black women are often seen as “too fertile” or not beautiful in general  (but especially when skin color comes into play), does this shift our ideologies and reactions? Then there is the symbolism of the Venus  , an image that many people have identified with to not only recognize sex assigned at birth, gender identity, but also a form of gender equality and empowerment. An African/afro-centric examination into the symbolism is of the Ankh,  which is connected to life.
 
I write this knowing that it is not the most popular position to take especially among many people who identify as “feminists.” This is one of the reasons I no longer identify as a feminist but as a radical woman of Color. I’m not down with having such a limited understanding and elitist conversation (as many feminist conversations often are  ) about what sexuality looks and sounds like for women of Color in this country. Instead, I’d like to learn more about the thought process within communities that are often ignored or just talked about and Othered by feminist spaces and among people in the sexology field.
 
I’d love to hear more about what people’s reactions to Venus’ outfit included. Will we give ourselves permission to deconstruct her choices without taking them away from her? I have confidence we can.

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Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 9:29:00 AM EDT

It’s not often that I have conversations about abstinence that are completely in-depth and devoted just to that topic. Often, the conversation is introduced in a larger conversation about choices, healing, sexual assault, contraception, and communication. As I prepare to teach a sexuality course at the private Catholic college I work at, I realize that I need to have a good selection of media (specifically songs) that discuss this reality.

Thus, I started to ask my friends about songs that discuss abstinence but that are also accessible and non-corny. When I do have conversations about abstinence I usually ask the youth I’m working with what type of sex they think people can have. I break down “sex” to include at the very least: vaginal penetration, anal penetration, and oral sex. We talk about how there are various body parts that people can do different things with by themselves or with a partner. I then share with them how some people think abstinence means maintaining their “virginity,” which is defined as a hymen. This means that some people may engage in oral or anal sex to remain a “virgin” and consider themselves abstinent. I share how it’s important for them to define how they want to define abstinence for themselves because potential partners may define it differently. It’s important to know what boundaries you have prior to someone asking to cross over them.

I’ve just fallen in love all over again with some classic songs I’ve been reminded of recently. As I prepare to teach a new summer course on sociology and sexuality these are some jams I’m thinking of teaching.

Janet Jackson’s “Let’s Wait Awhile” which features Taimak  for those of you who are old enough to remember the fantabulous film “The Last Dragon.” Her lines “Let’s wait awhile, before we go too far. I didn’t really know to let all my feelings who. To save some for later, so our love could be greater” are amazing teaching tools that help promote discussions about assertive and passive communication.


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Thursday, May 6, 2010 at 9:11:00 AM EDT
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When I learned that Ozomatli  a “notorious urban-Latino-and-beyond collision of hip hop and salsa, dancehall and cumbia, samba and funk, merengue and comparsa, East LA R&B and New Orleans second line, Jamaican ragga and Indian raga” band, had a new album out, FIRE AWAY, and that one of the tracks on the song was called “Gay Vatos In Love” I knew I had to hear the song. I’m thankful that a fan has uploaded the band performing the song live for me to share with you. This is not an official video for the song but it is the official song.
 

 
There are many other video uploads that have emerged this week regarding this song. You can see the many videos on YouTube alone here. This song came to my attention via an LA Times article that interviewed some of the band members while on tour in Mexico City. One of the aspects of this interview that really caught my attention was the motivation for creating the song, audience reactions, and the inclusion of the murder of transgender Latina Angie Zapata.
 
As a fan of Ozomatli, I know that there has been some shift and changes in the band members, but the sound and quality of the music they produce and create have stayed stellar. Often, Ozomatli’s lyrical content centered on social justice and human rights. I see the band very much as using their art and music as a form of activism.
 
Ozomatli stated in their LA Times interview that they created this song as the Prop 8  debates were at their height. The release of their new album and this track is very timely, especially with Ricky Martin coming out  recently. I’ve heard various comments about this song and Martin’s announcement. One thing I have yet to hear people discuss is how this is a very important time in music for queer Latin@s. It’s not often that major record labels, highly marketed and commercialized (to an extent) artists that are Latino make the statements on solidarity with an oppressed community as Martin and Ozomatli have done recently.
 
I can’t say that I am extremely surprised at how Ozomatli shared their audience has responded to their song. In their interview they shared the following:
 
They’d played “Gay Vatos in Love” live on several recent tour stops, and the reaction was sometimes mixed, Pacheco said. “It can be polarizing.” So, he added, “we had to find a way to suck people in without giving it away.”
 
The singer says he now prefaces the song by asking audiences: “Do you believe in love?” The response is almost always enthusiastically affirmative. “People are like, ‘Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!’ And we just start singing.” Pacheco laughed.
 
Still, the song consistently challenges comfort levels among some listeners, the singer admitted. “I think people get confused, they don’t know where we’re coming from. Some people ask, especially in the Spanish press, ‘Who’s gay in the band?’ So there’s an assumption there.”
 
(When reporters ask about the sexuality of the band’s membership, Pacheco says he sometimes responds with a purposely blank, “I don’t know.”)
 
“For us it’s a bigger issue,” Pacheco went on. “We felt that [gay rights] is just another in a long line of underdogs, so I think we connected to it on that level. It was totally natural for us to take that stance.”
 
 
Ozomatli makes a good argument and example of how standing for your convictions and challenging all forms of oppression have consequences, that are positive and often challenging. Creating a song that centers the love between two men of Color by a well-known band is an amazing piece of media. Not only that, but the language used speaks to specific community members. Some folks may not know how or why the term “vato” represents or was used. I would not be surprised if folks who are not Mexican or Chican@ or who do not live on the west coast are only familiar with this term via Latino gang films (i.e. Blood In Blood Out). This form of code-switching speaks directly to a specific community, and that is something I love. The message is constructed in a very specific way with a particular community in mind, which makes this song, in my opinion, effective.
 
One important part of the song, something I have never heard done before by artists of Color on major record labels (If you have please share!): discussing the murder of a transgender woman of Color in music. Verses in the song invoke the memory and brutal murder of Angie Zapata, who was murdered by a partner after having sex with her and learning her sex assigned at birth was male. Ozomatli sings:
 
Juan Gabriel says amor es amor
But Angie Zapata is lying on the dance floor
 
At first I found this an odd inclusion, especially for a song that focuses on Latino men (hence the use of the term “vato”) who identify as gay, as Angie, to my understanding, did not identify as either. I feared Ozomatli had ignored or were not familiar with the problematic ways of ignoring the difference between sex, gender and sexual orientation and ignoring that and thus canceling out their attempted activism. I do believe it is a weak attempt to include her and problematic as it perpetuates stereotypes and misinformation. At the same time, when I heard the song I can see how there are trying to challenge the familiar and overused phrase “love is love” or as they sing “amor es amor.” I can see some connections they may be trying to make with regards to the idea that if we do believe that amor es amor, why are we mourning the intra-racial/cultural murder of transgender women of Color all over the world at a devastating rate?
 
I find this useful and at times exciting piece of media and look forward to the possibility of including it in a workshop or class in the future to promote discussion and education. There is definitely room for a more in-depth conversation around how and what trans-misogyny  is and understanding how it works and how to challenge and dismantle it in our lives, psyche, and work. After all we do need to hold even our favorite artists accountable, and I think Ozomatli have made an important song, but it was a fairly weak attempt on including Angie; especially in comparison to their other songs about topics such as terrorism, colonization, and police brutality.
 
One thing I’m interested in hearing or experiencing is the band performing this song live and in the same fashion as they do many of their songs, not only with call-and-response techniques (as seen in the video above) but also coming into the audience. All of the Ozomatli concerts I’ve been to they have come into the crowd, all of the musicians and singers, formed a circle with the audience, danced, sang, and very much created our own musical fusion cipher. To know that this is a possibility, to have such a space to testify and honor and dance around these topics and our community is phenomenal. I wonder if the audience will participate in the same way if/when this song is part of that performance.
 
I’m feeling very hopeful and energized. This is exactly the way I hope Amplify readers feel as many of us prepare for the end of our semesters!
 

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Thursday, April 29, 2010 at 12:29:00 PM EDT

Some of you may never have guessed with all my critique and commentary on popular culture, I don’t have cable. Not only do I not have cable, but also I only get about four channels since the conversion as I still use rabbit ear antennas. Much of my consuming of media occurs between these four channels and catching things online. So, forgive me if I’m super late with discussing the anti-sexting campaigns that I just recently saw a advertisement for earlier this month.

While staying in a hotel in a very secluded city for a conference, I watched cable for the first time in months. As I watched MTV, I saw a commercial sponsored and created by MTV regarding anti-sexting. This topic is not new for you Amplify readers or parents of Amplify readers , nor is this topic new in the sexuality and sex education conversations. What is new for me is interacting with this new cyber-specific support, resources, and laws.

You see, I grew up without a computer or cell phone. I had to memorize telephone numbers! When I was in undergrad I was using a word processor. I know what dial-up sounds like, and that the Internet used to be called the “information superhighway.” Today, for me, is the future! With all this technology (i.e. “modernization”) there do come more challenges and laws about monitoring such activities (a post about “Net Neutrality” and what that means for all of us regarding protecting Internet freedom is forthcoming).

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Monday, April 26, 2010 at 8:59:00 AM EDT
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Did you know that plus-size women are hotter than Victoria's Secret models or Pussycat Dolls?

On the face of it, that seems to be the takeaway from the scandal that broke this week when plus-size retailer Lane Bryant accused ABC and Fox of discriminating against their new lingerie ad just because if features fuller figures. Here's the ad:


Lane Bryant says that the two networks treated their ad differently than they have similarly revealing Victoria's Secret ads, demanding unreasonable edits and denying them airtime on prime shows like American Idol and Dancing With the Stars (a show which, as the picture below demonstrates, clearly isn't shy about showing female flesh:)



If that's so (and Lane Bryant has since provided some documentation backing up their claim), it's a little astonishing on the face of it. After all, this is how less-than-skinny-model-perfect bodies are usually portrayed in ads: to asexual, comic effect:



So what gives? Why is a size 16 woman in bra and panties suddenly too hot to handle for a network that puts Pam Anderson in spandex on at 8PM?

It has to do with a (not-so) little thing we call appetite. See, bigger women aren't just scary to the mainstream culture because we refuse to adhere to Hollywood beauty standards. We big gals freak people out because we refuse to deny our appetites. And if you've got a woman who isn't ashamed to want what she wants - even if what she wants is simply to not starve herself - you've got a woman who can't be controlled.

Put another way: Nicole Scherzinger's body may be sexy, but it's far from threatening. In fact, the lead Pussycat Doll has made her career by sculpting herself into the most mainstream idea possible of the ultimate male fantasy. But plus-size women (I'm deliberately not saying "fat" here, because I just don't think Ashley Graham, the model featured in the ad, is fat by any measure) obviously can't be controlled in their appetite for food, so who's to say they can be controlled in their appetite for (*gasp*) sex? And any woman whose sexual appetites can't be controlled and directed is obviously far too threatening to the status quo to be allowed to into the "family hour." You know, that sacred, wholesome time of night when we gather 'round the television to watch Bikini Girl.

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Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 9:11:00 AM EDT
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This post is 5 months in the making! Last year I heard the song Pon De Floor somehow, I really can’t remember since it’s been years since I listened to the radio. Then while watching So You Think You Can Dance, the remaining dancers did a group number to the song. That’s when I knew the song was at a new popular high. It’s rare when a Dancehall song becomes so popular we see it on primetime television. So my interest in the song, the performers, and the origins was piqued.

After doing some searching I found the video for Major Lazer’s Pon De Floor. I was immediately excited because the dancing in the video was very much the kind of Dancehall I find fascinating, yet also complex as it is overly sexually graphic. Basically performers are reenacting some sexual activities on the dance floor, yet are doing so in a way that challenges our ideas of athleticism in dancing in this way. Another aspect of the video that I was excited about was that the women dancing were large bodied women. Some may even call them “fat dancers” yet for me their bodies were so much like my own it was as though I was watching myself dance.

When I realized I needed to learn more about the group I did some online searching and put in a request for a Gchat conversation with my homeboy, musical genre guru extraordinaire: Hugo who writes about DJ music and its connections to identity and society and provides his own mixes for free at his online home American Pupusa. I like to call Hugo my “musical mentor.” My online searching led me to the shocking knowledge that Major Lazer  is a fictional Black cyborg created by two White men, Diplo  from Philidelphia (of M.I.A. fame), and Switch from the UK who specializes in “House” music. When I realized that two White men created this image of Major Lazer, created the music, and then used Black and brown bodies in the videos I knew I had to talk to Hugo as soon as possible! There was just too much to unpack on my own.

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Monday, April 19, 2010 at 9:25:00 AM EDT

Congratulations. You have written a column encouraging dudes to rape drunk girls, and it's now earning you 15 seconds of internet fame. Well played. I hope you're making the most of your moment.

Here's the thing though: you're using my body to do it. Your "edgy" little missive does more than puff up your resume -- it also tells the world that if I (or any woman) drinks in public, I've irrevocably consented to pretty much any sexual act with any guy I might make eye contact with, regardless of what I actually want to do with my own (admittedly drunk) body. So suffice it to say I take this a little personally, and I've got a few things to say about it.

First, don't kid yourself into thinking you're groundbreaking or even original. People have been telling women who "misbehave" that they deserve/secretly want "whatever happens to them" since the dawn of time. The threat of rape is one of the main ways women have been controlled throughout history. So, way to go on telling drunken sluts they asked for it. It's been such a taboo subject for so long. In Opposite Land.

Second, you really think poorly of straight men, don't you? Do you honestly think most guys can't tell the difference between a woman who's into having sex with him, and one who is freaked out, passed out, or too drunk to consent? Or is it that you don't think most guys care about the difference? Either way, that's cold. And, according to good research, it's also false - most rapes are committed by a very small minority of men, who know exactly what they're doing. The rest? They prefer to get down with women who are actually enjoying themselves. But why be bothered by a little thing called research when you're busy making a name for yourself on the internet?

Third, your editors should be ashamed of themselves for publishing your flimsy victim-blaming crap. Free speech is a legal standard, not a journalistic one. Journalists are supposed to, y'know, have ethics. And fact-checkers.

Fourth, and lastly, please go directly to hell. I have just as much right as any man does to go out and have a few drinks without having a violent felony perpetrated against me. I am sick to death of my body being used for the amusement of jackasses like you, even theoretically. You may think a scandal is good for your ego, or your career. You may even be right about that. But trading women's safety for a little notoriety is a deal with the devil if I ever heard of one. And I hope you pay.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 12:37:00 PM EDT

While visiting Trinity College this week I asked some female-identified students what their thoughts were regarding Kiely Williams’ new video “Spectacular.” I have yet to hear too many conversations among their/your community about this video. This question is similar to my question asking you all what you thought about Eryka Badu’s video  that was getting so much attention a few weeks ago.

One hundred percent of all the people present had no idea who or what I was talking about. So we went to the Internet and found the video. Upon seeing her face, several of the women identified Kiely from her Cheetah Girls  days and we watched and listened to the video together. It was a very fascinating conversation. If you have yet to see the video check it out.

We then watched Kiely’s response to the public’s discussion on her video, which you can see below:



Many of my favorite homegirls are writing about the video. I first read the analysis from the Crunk Feminist Collective that my homegirl Maegan La Mamita Mala Ortiz  had shared. Then my homegirl Janna wrote a piece about how this song seems to be an anthem for “drunken blackout sex”  which teases out a few areas that are often overlooked. My homegirl AJ, who is the Sexual Correspondent for Racialicious.com has a recent piece up: Not So “Spectacular”: Kiely Williams, Black Erotics, and Sexual Responsibility which highlights several points regarding sexual assault, imagery, and HIV and STI rates among Black people living in the US. AJ then shared the writing of Carolyn Edgar who wrote Pimps Up, Hoes Up: Sexing Your Way To Your 15 Minutes of Fame which analyses this and a recent video created by a young woman of Color named Kat Stacks who identifies as having slept with numerous singers, rappers and/or celebrities.

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